To think some children ARE just naughty?

[Dancingfairy]

I'm sick of every time a child is naughty people say they "probably have autism" my daughter has autism and isn't badly behaved at all, (violent etc) is it just me who notices this?! Naughty behaviour doesn't equal autism, just frustrated with it getting a bad name! Aibu in thinking some children ARE just naughty?

You're not wrong. Yes we're better at diagnosing things now in children who would have just been labelled naughty before, but some kids are just naughty and need better parenting.

I have one with autism as well. He can be violent, he gets labeled as naughty while out and about. I’ve lost count of the times people have wanted me to whack him for it and autism didnt exist in their day.

Some kids definitely are just naughty. They probably need more sleep and a better diet.

YANBU. I have a cousin with autism. He is not badly behaved or naughty. If fact he is a dream to spend time with and well behaved and polite.

Yes, I often think it's insulting to kids with autism and other conditions, many of whom try really hard under difficult circumstances to cope with situations but get stereotyped as the exemplar for 'naughty' children.

It's also deeply annoying when someone posts about their dick of a husband/partner and you get 'maybe he's on the spectrum?' replies. As if that's the cause of all crap male behaviour ever. Nope, some are just dicks!

Yabu imo. Of course most kids misbehave but if you're talking about severe challenging behaviour and aggression there is always a reason for this which is either disability or neglect.

Yes some are just little shits and ruin everything.

The pendulum has swung the other way.

The challenging behaviour of kids with special needs used to be labelled as just ‘naughty’. Now, kids with ‘naughty’ behaviour are labelled as having special needs.

Yes, DSS was a complete little shit until long after he started school. He was the worst toddler I've ever met - so willful and wouldn't put up with anything he didn't want or tolerate not getting what he wanted.

He got better and better though, and has turned out to be a lovely adult - kind, responsible, caring, clever and very principled.

Yanbu.

Some kids definitely are just naughty. They probably need more sleep and a better diet.

That's a good point actually.

You rarely hear anyone on MN suggesting that, rather than suggesting some sort of SN.

It does depend on what you mean by 'naughty' though. Is class violent behaviour as more than just being naughty.

Of course some children are just naughty, poor parenting, neglect etc obviously plays a part.

Blaming it on SEN is too easy and excuses the behaviour almost not to mention the parenting.

The only reason it is so fashionable is because you get benefits if your child is classed as disabled or something and that was the schools thinking as to.why they kept insisting he had a condition

Yes I just think of that when getting things chucked at my head. Lovely benefits

I'm sick of every time a child is naughty people say they "probably have autism"

You'll always get some people asking you to consider this possibility. You'll always get some people saying they are just naughty. It's ridiculous to claim that "everyone" says one thing or the other. If more people are considering SN before labelling naughty children then I don't think that's a bad thing.

But yes, some kids are just poorly behaved, and I find ESPECIALLY on MN people are very quick to suggest SEN, or in the case of anyone over 50, dementia

Thank goodness it's not just me

I'm another who's raised a lad with quite severe SN ... and I took the view that he has enough problems as it is, without being a brat as well

I was ready to say yabu, I don't think any child is 'just naughty', behaviour happens for a reason, but yeah, it's not on to label every little thing as autism, it gives autism a bad name.

gamerchick is right

and what kind of prejudice is that for a school to come out with

this is one of the reasons I don't like teachers

On MN almost any behaviour is excused by something. If a child is a bully they either have SN or need help or MH issues. If a child is violent they have SN. Have just seen the ultimate where a child has been stealing another child's lunch and this should be excused because maybe the family are in poverty and he's either seriously hungry or neglected.

We need to start acknowledging that while some conditions may be the cause of certain challenging behaviours, not all challenging behaviours are because of certain conditions.

I find it kind of weird that a parent of a child with special needs would be so quick to label another child as ‘naughty’.

I hate children being labelled as naughty. Behaviour is a form of communication and if something's going wrong for a child sometimes the only way they have of expressing themselves is through disruptive behaviour i.e. "I'm not ok, could someone please notice and make it ok". Yes, this problem could be lack of sleep or decent diet, in which case the parenting might need looking at.
The child isn't 'naughty', they're looking for help. But they don't realise it.

I'm mainly talking violent and aggressive behaviour. it came after reading this www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/horrified-mum-claims-teachers-locked-11305092?ICID=FB_mirror_main on a Facebook group and people coming along saying "must be autism" it's not just this though. I see it all the time and it's frustrating! The news article doesn't even mention autism. Just sick of my daughter being put in the same category as children like this.

Yanbu. But I think that as with anything it is a tiny unrepresentative minority that give a false impression.

Eg I know someone who is insistent their dc has a sn that professionals refuse to dx. I'm not qualified to say whether they do or not. But the behaviour they attribute to this particular sn, usually as an excuse not to intervene/ prevent it when their child is treating others extremely badly is not on any planet related to the sn they claim their child has.

On the other hand the other 99.9999% of kids who sometimes behave in an undesirable way directly because of their sn are too often judged as naughty when they aren't.

It isn't just autism though. Dd's friend has a different sn, and it isn't unusual for other people to expect her to control her own reaction to kids behaving in a less than ideal way because the other dc just might have asd. When regardless of whether they do or not she can't just magic away her own sn to accommodate theirs.