To think some children ARE just naughty?

[Dancingfairy]

I'm sick of every time a child is naughty people say they "probably have autism" my daughter has autism and isn't badly behaved at all, (violent etc) is it just me who notices this?! Naughty behaviour doesn't equal autism, just frustrated with it getting a bad name! Aibu in thinking some children ARE just naughty?

Where do they learn swear words from then? How odd my dd doesn't know any swear words because I don't swear around her for her to pick them up.

I'm sure she will learn a few when she starts school.

All children learn swear words when they start school. The main thing we all learned in our school trip to France, was how to swear in French.

My DS is 14.
If your dc gets to 14 without learning any swear words I will buy you a pie.

When it comes to swearing, all children are different.
Ds picked up words at school and lacked the filter most children have which stops them from repeating them.
I didn't swear at all until I was 20, because it was against the rules.
Just because one person doesn't swear, doesn't mean that no-one swears.
You sound quite accusatory OP, are you meaning to?

My child can be very difficult and people have asked whether he has autism. He hasn't, he's just a bloody, strong willed, argumentative little shit at times. He used to be very aggressive towards me. I can understand your frustration because it was very frustrating for me to try and get help because he wasn't autistic IYGWIM.

I never swore at home. Didn't mean I didn't know any swear words

My point was I don't mean tantrums, crying over a doll in the shop as me not buying it isn't due to her autism. Like I said I mean swearing, damaging property, attacking people.

Yes, and damaging property, swearing and attacking people can all be symptoms of autism. Just because YOUR DD doesn't react like that doesn't mean other peoples DCs don't have autism. It is a spectrum disorder for a reason.

Where do they learn swear words from then?

Eh? School, usually!

Totally agree. My DD is autistic and was never ever in trouble at school and has never ever acted up in public

ladywire that does NOT mean that an other who has different behaviours does not have autism. Like i said, five in DSs class alone with the same dx, all five have different challenging behaviours.

Children are people (amazing insight, I know!) and just like adults, they exhibit a range of behaviours which result from the interplay of genetics and environment.

The idea that there are no nasty children (popular in education) and bad behaviour just needs appropriate support to cure is, IMO, rubbish.Unless you believe the corollary that the same is true of unpleasant adults. The false hypothesis is the angelic children (who just have problems) become evil adults overnight in their 18th birthday.

The idea that there are no nasty children (popular in education) and bad behaviour just needs appropriate support to cure is, IMO, rubbish.Unless you believe the corollary that the same is true of unpleasant adults

Well yes, I agree, I know of two 'naughty' children. One is an absolute nightmare, the stuff they do, they do because they know mummy will let them get away with it. I've watched the child be incredibly disrespectful, the mum not say anything and when I've looked st her just had "I'm not reacting to X, X is just tired". At 3pm in the afternoon. They're not tired, they just get with far too much bad behaviour.

But where I disagree with the OP is their Constance insistence that naughty behaviour is not a symptom of autism, it absolutely can be. There is a child in DSs class who is the polar opposite to my DS. They both have the same exact diagnosis. The Childs diagnosis is no less valid that my DSs just because DS presents differently to them.

I can forgive such ignorance from people who haven't the first clue, but someone who is meant to be on the same team as the rest of the autism parents really should know better than to make such wilfully ignorant statements.

Agreed. The pendulum has swung too much the other way. there are many children who are just not that nice and some children are just naughty. I don’t know why people can’t just accept that.

oblomov17 that's not what people aren't accepting. The OP said violent behaviour isn't a symptom or autism.

They are factually incorrect.

larry, that's a total straw man argument. Adults, like children, are shaped by their experiences and their genetics. But there are two major differences between adults and children. Children are too young and undeveloped to be expected to take full responsibility for how those genes and experiences influence their behaviour. And they're also young enough that their responses can be more easily shaped by new influences. So with children we accept that they are acting the way they do because of things outside of their control and they need support and guidance to react differently. With adults we expect them to be capable of taking responsibility for themselves and controlling their own behaviour.

mikado1, I don't know if he was insecure deep down, but I don't see any reason to think he was. I don't agree that if someone wants an ego boost, they must secretly be insecure. That's a bit like saying no rich person would ever want more money, no full person would ever want to keep eating, no famous person would ever want more fame, etc.