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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He threw the bunny away

223 replies

gherkin85 · 09/05/2017 13:02

My son is 11 and has had a bunny toy since birth. I bought it for him when I was pregnant with him. I'm not with his dad anymore but he stays at his dads house a couple of days a week.
last week his dad threw the bunny away, saying ds needs to "grow up"
DS and I are heartbroken.
I tried to explain to dad why this is not ok and he hung up on me....saying I am "mothering" him too much??

OP posts:
esiotrot2015 · 09/05/2017 13:03

Christ

Just thank the lord you're not with him any more

Your poor ds

PaperdollCartoon · 09/05/2017 13:03

This is awful, his Dad sounds really nasty. I'm 29 and still sleep with my teddy.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 09/05/2017 13:04

X is a dick. DS is also 11 and still has his baby toy, I'd be gutted if anything happened to it.

But it's done now and you have to help DS get over it. I wouldn't waste your time trying to reason with the X.

NavyandWhite · 09/05/2017 13:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ijustwannadance · 09/05/2017 13:04

What an absolute heartless twat.

xStefx · 09/05/2017 13:05

OMG what a horrible man, that was done out of spite. I suggest he goes and throws something of his fathers away without permission to teach him what it feels like.

Redredredrose · 09/05/2017 13:05

Oh my God. What an absolutely horrific thing to do to a child. I still have a doll I was given on my first birthday and my mummy had her Big Ted til the day she died. What's wrong with him?!? If you killed him, there's not a jury (of mothers) in the land who'd convict. Your poor little boy. Is there any chance of getting it back (bins not been emptied yet or similar?)?

Ellie56 · 09/05/2017 13:07

Can you go round and fish it out of the bin when X is out or will the bin have been emptied by now?

Tazerface · 09/05/2017 13:09

What a horrible, spiteful thing to do.

A cherished teddy should never be thrown away. What a heartless thing to do.

I remember my mum gently suggesting it was time I retired my beloved blanket as it was more hope that blanket - I still kept it for another year or so.

I am genuinely shocked that a parent could do that.

Original poster
gherkin85 · 09/05/2017 13:10

Oh I'm glad to hear these replies!
DS is a sensitive child but I don't think "tough love" as his dad thinks it is will make him more resilient
The style of toy was discontinued (it was 2005/2006) but I have found one on Ebay.
It will need an undressing and a professional battering to meet the quality of x bunny.
I just think he might look at it and remember how cruel his dad can be.

OP posts:
Notmyrealname85 · 09/05/2017 13:10

I'd do something nice with DS like a special trip to the cinema/coffee shop etc, literally anything to show you care (obviously) and that you'll be there to cheer him up when his dad does stuff like this. Even if it's nothing amazing it'll show you're trying.

Dad sounds like a pillock

NavyandWhite · 09/05/2017 13:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

beepbeeprichie · 09/05/2017 13:12

That is actually just cruel. I am perfectly "grown up" but I still have my favourite childhood comforter. Your poor soul. A total own goal by his complete cock of a father. Going forward don't send anything of sentimental value with your son if he stays over with that horror again.

MillieMoodle · 09/05/2017 13:13

Your poor DS.

Your ex is an utter twat. Is there no way of going round to go through the bin? Sounds crazy but I'd do it if someone threw my sons' first teddies away.

I'd be heartbroken if anyone threw my teddy away. He even resides safely at my parents' house (on my old bed) so that DSs can't get to him. Blush(DS1 is a notorious teddy thief).

Original poster
gherkin85 · 09/05/2017 13:14

And yes the bins have gone..
It was my first thought!

OP posts:
PeaFaceMcgee · 09/05/2017 13:16

It's emotionally abusive and you might need to have a chat with ds about what he wants to do...

SecretNetter · 09/05/2017 13:19

What an absolute cunt of the highest order. There's just no excuse for this.

Could he be bluffing? Maybe thought ds was too old to carry it around and hidden it?

SecretNetter · 09/05/2017 13:22

If he has thrown it away and refuses to discuss it I don't think I'd be allowing ds to go again until he at least will speak to you...very emotionally abusive and there's no sane adult I know who would actually do this.

DontWannaBeObamasElf · 09/05/2017 13:22

What a cunt!! I have a toy that I've had since I was two, my daughter wanted to take it into her bed and she got a long lecture about how special it is and how careful she must be with it. I'd be devastated if anything happened to it. It was a gift from my grandparents, one of whom has terminal cancer so it's even more sentimental now.

Original poster
gherkin85 · 09/05/2017 13:25

He didn't carry it around...he didnt really play with it anymore, too busy with minecraft Blush
he took it from mine to his dads in a backpack and just slept with it. It was like a bit of consistency?
It went on school trips when he was little, to our much saved and longed for trip to Disneyland, and is in many a baby photo! That's why I'm so gutted, it was like a part of his childhood Angry

OP posts:
Lindy2 · 09/05/2017 13:25

What an utterly nasty unnecessary thing to do.
How often does your DS visit? Does he want to visit again after this?
I would be very worried about how well he is being cared for there and what else could happen.

6demandingchildren · 09/05/2017 13:27

My dh is a real man's man, in the 21 years of marriage I have only seen him cry twice, but I would never tell him to give up his "little elley" as it is still next to his bed as it has been for the past 43 years.
So angry for you and your son right now, at your son's age he will remember this and what a cunt his dad was/is

Redredredrose · 09/05/2017 13:28

Post a picture of it here - someone might have one going spare, if you get outbid on eBay. Mumsnet is very good at that kind of thing.

My DS is only 2 but he carries his favourite cuddly toy EVERYWHERE. He takes it to nursery every day, though it sits in his bag and only comes out at naptime. I'd be heartbroken if anything happened to it.

SapphireSeptember · 09/05/2017 13:29

Shock Your poor DS, what an awful thing to do. I still have my baby teddy, and I know a lady in her sixties who still has her first stuffy. (And I would quite likely murder anyone who hurt Tubsy.)

I'm glad you found another one and hope that this won't taint the memories of his bunny, but he will remember that his father is an arse.

thecatsarecrazy · 09/05/2017 13:30

Bastard. My 10 year old has a teddy he's had since he was about 1 and he would be devastated if anyone did that. His ted is by his side every night