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AIBU?

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Original poster

He threw the bunny away

223 replies

gherkin85 · 09/05/2017 13:02

My son is 11 and has had a bunny toy since birth. I bought it for him when I was pregnant with him. I'm not with his dad anymore but he stays at his dads house a couple of days a week.
last week his dad threw the bunny away, saying ds needs to "grow up"
DS and I are heartbroken.
I tried to explain to dad why this is not ok and he hung up on me....saying I am "mothering" him too much??

OP posts:
JessieLightyear · 09/05/2017 13:32

What a shite.

Don't replace it. It won't be the same. He's 11 and he will get over it. He's not two and capable of being fooled by a replacement to get to sleep.

Just do something nice with/for him instead.

1bighappyfamily · 09/05/2017 13:33

That is so very mean. My DM took my comfort blanket away when I was five as she said I was too old to have it. I still remember that (as does she as I've never let her forget it). I swore I would never do that to my children. They can have them as long as they like.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 09/05/2017 13:33

What an arsehole! My DD has the first teddy that her dad with given by his adopted parents. It's been around 42 years and his battered but I'd never dream of throwing it away.

OrlandaFuriosa · 09/05/2017 13:33

That's vile.

I'm so glad you rescued his cousin.

Greyponcho · 09/05/2017 13:33

Your ex is a cunt of the highest order Angry
Unforgivable.
Hope your DS is okay

Katedotness1963 · 09/05/2017 13:33

My mum did the same thing to me. I fell asleep cuddling my teddy, woke up the next morning and it was gone.

My almost 16 year old still sleeps with his favourite cuddly, it would break his heart if anything happened to it.

Trollspoopglitter · 09/05/2017 13:34

Buy him a copy of the Velveteen Rabbit.

I'm sure he loved the bunny REAL by now and the nursery fairy rescued him from the bin and turned him into a real rabbit.

Hell, I'd bloody buy him a real rabbit (despite hating the idea of having one as a pet)

User24689 · 09/05/2017 13:34

That is one of the meanesr things I have read of on here OP! Your poor boy. My DD also has a beloved bunny she has had since birth and I like to think she will have it forever - like you say it is a part of their childhood.

I agree with PP who said this is emotionally abusive - the man has purposely upset his child. How could anyone do that?

Im glad you found another bunny. Don't worry if it looks brand new and unlike original bunny. It is symbolic for your DS- you are showing him how much you love him and that is is perfectly OK to still have a treasured childhood bunny at 11... or any age!

dollydaydream114 · 09/05/2017 13:34

My niece is about your son's age and has just been on a residential school trip. Her school posted some pics on Facebook of the kids unpacking in their dormitories and almost every single kid had a teddy or something with them, boys and girls. Your son isn't being a wimp or over-sensitive, he's a normal kid. Your ex is being an absolute dickhead over this and I'm not surprised your son's heartbroken. Even if your son didn't cuddle the toy in bed, toys like that just have huge sentimental value. I'd honestly feel like crying if someone threw away my childhood teddy bear, and I'm 41.

In general, does your son have a good relationship with his dad? Does he enjoy seeing him? I honestly think this is a really cruel thing to do to a child - I'm really shocked. I thought parents stopped behaving like this in the 1950s.

Do you think your ex would have done the same if your son was a girl? I mean, is he just generally a complete shit, or does he have weird Victorian ideas about boys not crying etc?

Original poster
gherkin85 · 09/05/2017 13:35

I have gently suggested if he didn't want to go to his dads he dosent have to, but he says he still does.

OP posts:
OrlandaFuriosa · 09/05/2017 13:35

The cousin won't be the same, but it will still be one comfort. But he'll have to leave it with you.

Teddies are like pets, absolutely irreplaceable, part of consistency, unconditional support.

Goldfishjane · 09/05/2017 13:35

My friends daughter started uni in September
The baby toy I gave her is in her room there
I never thought she'd have it this long
But it makes me feel like crying for your boy.

elevenclips · 09/05/2017 13:35

Holy shit!
My 40yo dh has his childhood teddy
It's in a cupboard somewhere(?)
But poor kid
I have an 11yo and that would never be forgotten
What a mean bastard

tasteslikechicken · 09/05/2017 13:36

Your Ex is a knob. Tell him to google "Transitional Objects". Fekkin' idiot failed to realise there were many memories associated with that rabbit including him. Idiot!

BarryTheKestrel · 09/05/2017 13:37

I have a teddy I've had since I was born, I'm 27 now. He's small and lives in my bedside cabinet for those nights I need some extra comfort or the world is getting on top of me.

My DD is only 2 but she has a rabbit she has had since she was born and he lives in her bed and she cuddles him every bed time.

I would be devastated if anything happened to either of them.

Your ex is completely heartless. I would be livid.

MrsJamesMathews · 09/05/2017 13:37

Your poor, poor DS.

He will remember this forever and will always know his dad is that kind of man.

PollytheDolly · 09/05/2017 13:37

This is awful, his Dad sounds really nasty. I'm 29 and still sleep with my teddy.

Im 44 and my teddy is now in 2 pieces (his head fell off with too much loving).

Your DH has done something quite long lasting I'd say. (My mother threw my humpty dumpy my nana got me on the bonfire one year, I didn't care he no longer had legs Sad). Horrible.

OrlandaFuriosa · 09/05/2017 13:37

And yes, The Velveteen Rabbit. Makes me cry every time. A friend had it as a reading at her wedding, that bit where it talks about real love going on even when you're shabby.. all attendees were welling up.

alltouchedout · 09/05/2017 13:38

Bloody hell, my 61 year old mum still has her childhood teddy and doll. I still have mine. DS1 lost his beloved 'doggy' on a train 4 years ago and is still a bit upset when he remembers it. Your ex is a cruel man :(

Notso · 09/05/2017 13:39

Oh your poor DS, I hope he I'd ok. This would really concern me.

littlebrownbag · 09/05/2017 13:40

Your poor DS! He is a similar age to my DSS who has a similar, very battered but loved animal toy. My DH has an older, larger matching one in our room so DSS knows "real men" can have soft toys too. The toys sometimes keep each other company. :)

Children gradually grow out of their comforter toys and blankets in that they retire more to the background of their lives and don't need to be front and centre. Every adult with a story about them can tell you about the time they decided to "retire" them - for me I made the decision when I was 16 that I was too old to have my comfort blanket on my bed (it was knitted and falling apart), but it still lived in a cupboard for the odd occasion I needed to cuddle it. My parents never said a word.

Hissy · 09/05/2017 13:40

I took DS (11) monkey with me when I went to boyfs while DS was away on a residential. he didn't want to take him in case he got lost, and I didn't want Monkey to be alone.

I also may have left the footy on the telly with said monkey on the sofa while we went to watch the game at the stadium... because of course taking a monkey to a football match would be silly

nInachu · 09/05/2017 13:44

Thats horrible your poor son. I have a 30 year old fox in my room still. I don't sleep with him in my bed, but its what I have kept from my childhood.

blackteasplease · 09/05/2017 13:45

Horrendous behaviour from your ex. Just nasty. Your poor ds. And particularly bearing in mind the reason for bringing the rabbit with him in the first place!

MyBonnieLiesOverTheOcean · 09/05/2017 13:45

How horrible! My DS is also 11 and also has a bunny that he would be gutted if he lost. He still takes it to sleepovers.

If it's a Moulin Roty Lola rabbit then I have a spare and would happily send it to your son.

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