AIBU to make DD get up?

[SammieZoe]

DD is 17, she is my 1st, so I have no idea if it's 'normal' behaviour.

She is learning from home, with a distance learning college, which is going okay. However, she goes to bed at 3 am and gets up at 12 pm. She does work hard when she gets up, but surely she should be getting up earlier? She has a cleaning job, but it's to clean schools (she does the after school cleaning) so she doesn't need to be up early for that either.

WWYD?

Let her get in with it..she's nearly an adult she's getting her work done, what's the problem? There's tons of evidence that suggests teenagers circadian rhythms are different and they are more productive getting up later..

But she gets up when she has to, so I don't get why she can't with this. It's so frustrating seeing her roll out of bed at 12...

You wouldn't be impressed but if she's learning and working and tidying up after herself in the house? I'd leave her to it.

I wouldn't be impressed* typo!

If she is completely the course work then I see nothing wrong in her not getting up until 12

if she was doing her course away from home she would be behaving the same but you wouldn't know about it. leave her too it.

No, frustration.

Yes, she is completing the work and gets home from her job and works until I'm in bed! I just wish she would get up at a 'normal' time. She can be messy, so that winds me up even more.

Why is it frustrating? She does everything she needs to, no problem.

Work - but if she was going to an actual college, she'd be up at 7 am!

But she isn't though... there's tonnes of evidence that proves teenagers work more effectively later on at night. The only reason you have a problem with this is because you just feel like she should be up early without any real reason for it

She gets everything done she needs to, just on a different schedule to you - different, not wrong
I'm really not seeing the problem tbh

If she is accomplishing everything required of her, why does it matter that she stays up late and rolls out of bed at noon? She will probably have many years ahead of her when she will have to adjust her schedule to suit the needs of other people. Let her enjoy this situation while it lasts.

I agree with others, there is a lot of evidence that teens function poorly early in the day and find it hard to sleep at a 'normal' time. Sounds nuts I know but I think there is something in it. My DS (also 17) has to get up at 7 for college and is like a zombie but brightens up as the day goes on.
If she is functioning and meeting her commitments then I would try and turn a blind eye as this is pretty normal for teens.

If I lived an hour away from my workplace I would get up 45 min earlier. But I'm not, so I don't. Don't get your logic OP.

If she's getting all her work done then what exactly is the problem? Why do you find it frustrating? Yes if she was attending an actual college she would have to get up at 7am but she isn't so it's irrelevant.

Her being messy is a separate issue. Just leave her too it, she's obviously found a routine that for now, works well for her.

Thats what she would do if she worked night shifts, so I dont see the problem unless she is failing her course.

Why should she get up at 7am? Because you say so? It makes no sense - she doesn't have to be up that early!

She's working, doing long-distance learning and getting all her coursework done - what does it matter whether she gets up at 7am or midday?

let her get on with it
that's my natural body clock and I feel best when on a late shift, easily do my best work then.

when I have to get up early, I have raging insomnia (probably due to the fact that life is designed round a clock that doesn't match mine) and I will be feeling shite at 8am, then perk up around 10pm and the whole bloody cycle starts again.

so yes, leave her alone.

My DD has the same body rhythm as your DD and I leave her to it.

My DD was to do Catering and mixology, so that's usually late nights.

I've worked nights and shifts, many of my family do, there is no "normal", as long as want needs to be done, is getting done.

I don't really see the issue. You said she gets up when she has to. That sounds pretty normal! I get up when I have to for work and that changes depending on what I've got on that week. If I didn't need to be up until 9 then I wouldn't wake up until that time. She's studying and doing her work and has a job that she goes to so I don't see what harm it is. She sounds like she's a lot more productive than people I knew at 17! Why do you want her to be up at 7?... Does she make a lot of noise at night and keep you up?

Sammie "t's so frustrating seeing her roll out of bed at 12..."

why, by the way?

It's a long time ago but I also worked late into the night for my A levels because it suited me better and I got really good grades (not a stealth boast because they didn't actually improve my career much) - there may be something in teens working better later as well.

tbh this reminds me of a thread someone else posted about "wasting the day". Blooming mystery.

I have a friend who gets up ridiculously early. He thinks everyone should and that he is a better person as a result. He regularly gets up and does, "all my ironing, cooking for the week, cleaned the house and it's not even 9am".

He also can't explain why his ironing at 5am is better than other people's at 5pm.

If she's messy, that's something to tackle. Her hours, when she is doing a job and studying, are really irrelevant.

Control freak.

So the basic issue is that you don't feel comfortable with her body clock being different to yours? If that is all it is and there is no impact on work (paid or study) then I wouldn't see an issue...

As long as there is agreement that when necessary she is up (e.g. for visitors) then let her carry on...