AIBU to ask about your wedding bugbears?

[coralpig]

We are getting married next month and my goal is to make sure people are happy and comfortable. What has annoyed you about weddings you've been too? what tiny details were lovely and which were pointless and annoying.

Thanks :)

Don't make the drinks reception too long before you feed people. I've been to loads of weddings and that's the bit where everyone feels like they are waiting and tend to drink too much. An hour is plenty.

Some drink and food if there is a long wait after the ceremony for photos. If it s hot lots of non-alcoholic drinks available (and please can it be obvious if there is something other than water, my tee-total grown up son got very dehydrated last summer as he also doesn't drink water much). Somewhere to sit if there is much waiting (its not just the elderly who may need to sit).
Thank you letters/notes are nice - I'm owed two at present, and just worry that in both cases things could have gone astray - so some acknowledgement even for cheques is helpful.

Hanging about for ages while the photos are done, also being herded into various family groups for the photos. Honestly, the best photos I've seen from most weddings have either been from guests, or else a pro photographer doing informal candid photos. These give you a much better flavour of the day rather than a big group of 25 cousins and aunts.

I think the main thing that sticks in any guests' mind is being underfed! I think making guests aware in advance of what to expect food-wise is helpful so that they can plan pre-wedding meals accordingly. Nothing worse than being hungry with no access to food.

I'm getting married next year and I'm intrigued to see what other people say!

Feed your guests enough! Might seem simple and obvious but the worst weddings are when this doesn't happen. Especially if you are in the middle of nowhere and you can't pop out somewhere either!

Plenty of food, especially if there is a hanging around part for photos etc. Keep those canapés and drinks circulating. Lastly a thank you note for any gifts ideally to be sent within 3 months of your wedding.

Definitely make sure there's enough food and don't spend too long taking photos.

And speeches. Put a limit on speech length and if it's a big room make sure the microphone works.

Crap veggie food!

Some idea of the timings of the day is handy. Went to one last week, registry office ceremony at 3. Reception venue not available until 7. Didn't know this until the day. Ended up at someone's house for the middle bit, sitting around drinking. I know most weddings flow a lot better than this but I'd have like to have known beforehand about the strange lull in the middle!

Definitely making sure there's enough food. Nothing worse than ending up half starved especially in the middle of nowhere where you can't easily get food elsewhere

I expect you'll get alot of contrasting comments here... Personally I love a long drinks reception, chatting, mingling & relaxing before being brought I'm for dinner. I think good music throughout the day really sets the tone, food must be good & I love the speeches. Don't mind them being long, once they're entertaining to all listening, but again, that comes down to opinion! During speeches, make sure drinks continue to be served. One wedding I was at, the bar closed during lengthy speeches, our table ran out if everything, even water & it wasn't nice. Congratulations & have a fabulous day!

Don't spend too long having photos taken or between the ceremony and reception. By far the worst bit. Especially if you don't know many people, aren't a social butterfly and are having a lunchtime wedding. I'm always bored, starving and tired of standing around. Having somewhere people can sit down is a great idea!

wedding bug bears ? my 3rd husband turned up at our wedding ? er.. sorry .. no i was due to marry him went to a wedding and there was no veggie options in the buffet at all, piss poor considering the bride knew that about ten of the guests were veggie including relatives [brothers ]! we had to ask the kitchen to make a plate of sandwiches !! thankfully the booze we sneaked in helped to soften the blow .

Standing around for ages waiting for food.
Standing around for ages while photos are being taken.
Loooooooong speeches.

coral it's very nice that you are concerned about the comfort of your guests I hope you have a fabulous day

Be aware of the tricky times - usually the ones between the ceremony and the meal, then the meal and the evening do. These can stretch on for a few hours if the planning isn't right and can really lose the momentum of the day.

Canapés or an idea to guests of when the wedding breakfast will be served - for example, a 1pm wedding with a 4pm sit down leaves at least two hours of rattling around time without knowing when food will be served!

I think the best weddings are the ones that appear relaxed and informal but where real thought has been put into the running order of the day.

(A small bugbear of mine is no wine on tables but I know this is sometimes down to budget!)

pinky crap veggie to you, dead stuff to me. i knew someone who went to a wedding where most of the food was tofu based, now that is gross.

Waiting around for ages with alcohol but no little nibbles for our poor empty stomachs. Doesn't have to be posh just slightly filling.
Don't mind hanging around as long as there is food to go with drink. And yes soft drinks and water too.

So food is a big one. I think we've got that covered although we haven't advertised it in advance:

ceremony at 1, drinks and canapés reception at 1.30, wedding breakfast at 3.30, cake at 6 and evenin buffet at 8.30.

Drinks reception is quite long 1.30-3 but that's something the venue insist on to turn round the room and we have a magician coming to entertain the guests.

Have asked for mostly candid shots from our photographer and just a few staged ones. This will be the first wedding the two of us go to

We are both pescetarian and have lots of veggie food too but no tofu- I can't stand the stuff

Agree re enough food and drink. Plus If you can't afford a free bar make sure it's clear on invite. People are going to find out anyway! At least this way they can come prepared.

YY to plenty of food!! We went to a 12.30 wedding (so no time for lunch as left for church about 11.30) then no food til 4!! Needless to say all the guests were getting a bit grumpy. You definitely need canapés/ substantial nibbles of some sort.
I also think in terms of wine some of the more successful ones have been where the waiters top up glasses rather than bottles on the table. You don't seem to run out and it doesn't matter if the whole table wants red.

I like the drinks bit after the ceremony too-especially if the weather is nice and everyone can sit outside. I expect to be hungry so always try and have something beforehand to keep me going but canapés are nice to get-but I know they can add extra cost to someone's wedding so I don't mind if I don't get anything. Even just bowls of crisps/nuts would be good to nibble on.
have a great day!

My main gripes are not enough to eat, and too long/many speeches.

Absolutely with the time-limit on speeches. Went to a friend's wedding last year and they did drag on a bit....

Don't do one of those flash 'first' dance things that everybody does now.