AIBU to ask about your wedding bugbears?

[coralpig]

We are getting married next month and my goal is to make sure people are happy and comfortable. What has annoyed you about weddings you've been too? what tiny details were lovely and which were pointless and annoying.

Thanks :)

It's depressing how many of you can't go a single day without alcohol.

I don't think anyone's actually said that though, have they Richard?

I know someone who got married recently and they decided to have their photos taken before the wedding ceremony so that they could also enjoy the drinks reception and mingle with their guests. I think that is a brilliant idea but not ideal if you are very traditional!

I think that is a great idea, Bellie - I think getting your photos taken on a completely different day is odd, but having them done on the same day but earlier is still pictures of your wedding day.

I would say no, don't do speeches before the meal. No one will enjoy them. the speeches should be lovely, short, and heartwarming - and enjoyed by people who aren't hungry and have somewhere to sit.

Tea and coffee should be served, more than one cup available.

What the others have said about food/drink

I have been annoyed by long waiting times/dead time between stages of the wedding.

I would find a magician show cool for the kids and as long as there was ZERO audience participation I would like to watch it too.

I want to be with my friends and not with randoms, sorry.

Booze - if you're paying and hosting then go crazy, have what you want. Personally I would be a bit bored without a couple of glasses of fizz. But then I do use alcohol as a bit of social lubricant. Sorry, that's not a great thing to say.

My (Glaswegian, white, Catholic-lapsed) culture is boozy and yours isn't- so for the day I would totally respect that. I would imagine a few people might have a few drinks in the pub before the ceremony or people might duck out early.

I hope you have a lovely day!!

richard I would and will and can, but for me a wedding or any big celebration goes hand in hand with a couple of glasses of something nice. That doesn't make me or my friends/family a delinquent!

Hell, I thought that you had to drink alcohol to get through a wedding!!!

A dry wedding wouldn't bother me! I think if people struggle to abstain for one wedding then they're really pathetic and I wouldn't want them there!

It sounds like you've got the right idea re food and entertainment etc. I recently went to a wedding and after the ceremony the couple had photos for nearly 3 hours! There was limited seating inside and it was really hot without shade! We were all starving. One of the waitresses told someone off for taking a second bread roll at the meal! Then the place we were eating had to be turned into the dance floor so we didn't have dessert. The couple had their first dance about 2 hours after so we were waiting again, then served dessert after. There was a sweet cart but it didn't get set up until just before we had dessert! I didn't stay to see the dance and dessert etc as I had my toddler with me! I was there for around 6 hours and I would say 5 of them were stood around waiting!

Regarding being a dry wedding as long as your guests are aware in advance and are understanding then it's a non issue. I've never been to a dry wedding, but then I've only ever been to a typical/traditional British wedding where everyone expects to get drunk. Being able to drive home and not wasting most of the next day without feeling like the odd one out for not drinking would definitely be a bonus!

As long as plenty of soft drinks on tap throughout the day - selection of teas, nice coffee, hot chocolate, water, sparkling water, fruit juices, squash, posh cordial (bottle green type stuff) etc then fine!

Yes alcohol normally acts as lubrication to make chatting to strangers easier and I'd be dissapointed if arrived expecting booze and there wasn't any. But I'd it's perfectly clear from the invitation there won't be any then that's fine!!!

bellie my friend is Chinese and she had her wedding photos beforehand which is quite common in her culture! It's a great idea! Some people have them the day before!

Ancestral, a week wedding?

I had a great time at a dry wedding. The real killer was the lack of tea! Mormon wedding.

redexpat why no tea? I'm intrigued... Is that a Mormon thing? Like PPs have said if there's no alcohol I'd really love there to be tea available throughout.

The big one is having the wedding so big that you don't get to spend time with all your guests. A wedding is effort and expense and just being a space filler is not fun .

Too late to change, but I'd book the last possible ceremony (4 pm at earliest), then on to snacks, drinks ( I'm teetotal so I don't mind a dry wedding, but please plenty of non fizzy stuff and tea and coffee). Quick photos then meal and speeches. Then get the music on, but not so loud that guests can't talk.

You are the hosts so host. And thank you letter or email within a month please.

Ilove yes Mormons abstain from alcohol and caffeine. They got forced west across America because no one wanted them, so tried to make themselves more respectable by ditching alcohol and caffeine. At least that's my understanding anyway. Apologies to any Mormons if I've got that wrong.

Lorelei, yes, I'm still recovering. Never again.

Thank you for the advice and positive comments- and especially the good wishes for a lovely day.

I won't be checking this thread anymore- it's made for some stressful reading and I just want to focus on the excitement and last minute preparations (I know I know I did ask).

Thanks anyway

my friend is Chinese and she had her wedding photos beforehand which is quite common in her culture!

I came across a couple in the park having wedding photos a few weeks ago. It was two days before their wedding and they just wanted to spend the day getting the photos at various different locations without their guests waiting on them. I thought it was a lovely idea. She really wanted to get photos with all my dogs (I had five with me, all matching!). I spent the whole time panicking about dirty paws on her lovely white dress, but she was insistent that she really wanted them in some pictures.

redexpat thanks for that, I didn't know!