AIBU to ask about your wedding bugbears?

[coralpig]

We are getting married next month and my goal is to make sure people are happy and comfortable. What has annoyed you about weddings you've been too? what tiny details were lovely and which were pointless and annoying.

Thanks :)

Turtle 12.51.15 that! Smiling at 'dress up as a wizard', wish I'd made it to my friend's son's Viking wedding!!
Lovely family wedding with a vintage/Alice in Wonderland theme a few years ago. They had close family for ceremony and meal at very nice place in Oxfordshire. All other family and friends joined them later on a boat in Oxford to travel to a country pub where there was live Celtic/Reggae music, abundant home cooked food, (curries and cake) and traditional pub games on the grass. Wonderful memories!

I want to go to a wedding where i get to dress up as a wizard or a viking! I feel deprived that i've missed out on the opportunity.
I refused to have fish at my wedding cos i hate the sight/smell. My mum got in a state that we'd be insulting the guests by not having any smoked salmon sandwiches.

I would second whoever said decent non-alcoholic drinks, if possible. I don't drink and it annoys me that lots of thought goes into a wine list so that those who drink can have something that complements their meal, but I often end up with coke or orange juice or water. Uninspired and it seems a shame if the food is lovely to wash it down with sugary fizz. Even elderflower or something that you don't often have at home like that would be lovely.

Bugger - should have read to the end of the thread. Mental note to self to RTFT. That's what you get when trying to MN while also trying to sort out kids lunches....
Sorry folks. Am suitably ashamed of myself.

Being told what to wear.
I'm going to a wedding in august and I've been told to wear a certain colour.
I don't like that colour.
I've paid for my hotel, travel and will be paying for drinks. The bride and groom have asked for cash as well.
I'm not buying a dress I don't like.
I've been told that people who don't wear it unfortunately may not be in the photos.
Great! More bar time for me!

Very sad that people feel the need to complain about a few hours/day without alcohol or meat.

I like the idea of mocktails.
I'd be quite happy with a dry wedding as long as the drinks felt special and not just fizzy water or orange.

See also with the vegetarian weddings- I can't get my head around why someone would moan about that?

I don't think it's so much about the fact that vegetarian food is served, but it's that food not to the taste of the guests is served. This can happen with someone not liking the risotto, or the fish, or the chicken, but when it's vegetarian then they just say that it's because it is the vegetarian meal. There are some foods that are fairly specific to some tastes - I don't like tuna at all, and I would say to someone that I didn't like the food if asked. There may not necessarily be anything wrong with it, but when it's not to your taste, then that's what you say.

I went to an event once where half of the dishes were vegetarian, and the entree was a raw tomato, sliced and put on a plate with oil and black pepper. I can't stand raw tomato in any format, and think that the thought of serving this dish at an event was pretty idiotic. The whole world of wonderful food and I got served a fucking tomato. Main course was a ceasar salad, which I also can't stand. The person next to me got scallops for entree and steak for main course. Damn right I complained about the food when someone asked how the event went.

I find it very irritating at weddings when there are cocktails or champagne provided and wine on the tables but I have to pay for soft drinks at the bar because I'm designated driver and not drinking alcohol. Please make sure there are some soft drinks if you're providing alcohol for free

Wait your wedding starts at 1pm and there isn't a meal till 3.30? You aren't even giving people a chance to have lunch... My idea of hell

I'm not a big drinker but I do find it sad that there are really people who couldn't cope without alcohol for one day, especially if that day is in celebration of a loved ones wedding.
If would be a massive slap in the face if people I obviously felt close enough to to invite to my wedding, thought so little me that they fucked off to the pub or snuck in a hip flask. I think I'd just rather they weren't there for the day.

What would be fun is if you could get a special wedding mocktail just for the toasts, if you're having speeches?

emmantfc why bother commenting on a thread when you haven't even read the OP's comments?

I'm new divorced and although I love celebrating friends/family getting hitched to lovely people, the ceremony etc is a bit raw as I can't help but be reminded of all the promises my ex broke. I don't think I could actually cope without a teeny bit of alcohol to 'take the edge off'- not to get hammered. Otherwise I might actually have a full on melt down/have to source something illegal! Which is really an awful thing to say but it's true, and no doubt there would be people attending in the same frame of mind as I'm not the only divorcee in the world.

Have you thought about paid bar if people choose/BYO as otherwise, as another poster has said, you will find people sneaking stuff which is probably harder e.g. spirits, if DH's family do not share your dry views. Damage limitation as it were…if people have to pay they are likely to drink less…

Wait your wedding starts at 1pm and there isn't a meal till 3.30? You aren't even giving people a chance to have lunch... My idea of hell

Most people would just have brunch. What's the problem?

Having a 2:30 wedding but no food til 7:30!

Yes, brunch is the way to go.

Pay for guests parking and wifi please! Highchairs aswell

Been to several dry weddings for religious reasons and the key is definitely the entertainment! One forced everyone join in kind of a ceilidh dance which was an ordeal as I'm quite shy and had also been recovering from complications from an earlier emergency c section plus had my prem baby with me. One was just a disco type thing although there was a bit of name and shame those not up dancing and one was absolutely lovely with an ice cream cart and a magician for the kids (ahem adults were spellbound) and then a Classic band then a bbq style reception with salmon, steak, hall punk and chicken plus so many sides and salads followed by a dj for the evening. The only thing I struggle with is plenty of seats in between as I am "only"34 but suffer with a few chronic conditions and find that at a lot of weddings there are seats for a few elderly relatives or pregnant women but I can't manage to stand for long especially if my dd2 won't co-operate. Enjoy your day and a very happy future

I don't think I would have time to prepare and eat 'brunch' get me and my children ready and travel to the location. This is one of the major things that terrible about weddings, why would you want to starve your guests 😱😱

*haloumi not hallpunk

People who are used to drinking may find a dry wedding slow so you might not keep their attention all afternoon. Your timing is classic (ftr Violet 4 pm weddings are very trendy nowadays) although the activities are not what English people will be used to. I don't drink so I'd be well catered for.

It's been said already, but seating. If it's a formal seating plan then that's easy for the meal, but make sure there's plenty of seats for the drinks reception bit - if you've got 100 guests then at least fifty seats. In the evening do try to keep a seat each so people can mingle without getting tired or stranded.

Made the whole wedding a chore. Didn't matter what else happened as we were so hungry and slightly drunk. Bar had run out of crisps etc. All we got was one drink on arrival, no other drinks were provided at all, not even a toast drink even though there was a toast. It was made worse by the food being a BBQ which you could smell from 4 but not served til 7:30! That's what we will remember about the wedding, lack of hosting skills. Guests should not be hungry or thirsty, makes you feel unwelcome.

Hanging around waiting for photos to be done - not sure why some people have so many done. Having no clue about timings i.e. when I will get my food! No drink out on the table. Choosing a venue miles out in the sticks just because it will look nice on the photos - but it's a PITA for everyone to get to /get home from.

It's probably too late but I would move it all back by 2 hourscso people can have lunch. So wedding at 3, meal at 5, cake straight after and smaller buffet. I think you'll find lots of people will leave by 9.

Tell people now what the order of events will be. Tell people what will happen and when. Tell them when they are going to be fed etc. That will stop people getting grumpy about waiting.

From much wedding attendance what guests need is enough to eat, enough to drink, somewhere to sit and a bride and groom who are happy. If what it takes for the bride and groom to be happy is colour matching the table decorations with the father of the bride's socks then fill your boots but nobody else will notice or care.