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AIBU?

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Original poster

"has she got a boyfriend" ? FUCK OFF

211 replies

trufflehunterthebadger · 04/07/2015 07:06

SIL (and many other people apparently) seem absolutely fixated with DD having a "boyfriend"

"Has she got a BF yet ?"
"Ah, she has got a crush on uncle x"
"That boy is rough because he likes you"

DD is 5. WTF is wrong with people ? aibu that this topic ends up in me cutting off the person asking the fucking stupid vapid question quite curtly ? DD really likes SIL's husband and the other day it was "aww, she's got a crush on him, look, she won't leave him alone" . MIL is nearly as bad

Has anyone had this ? Why on earth do people do it ?

OP posts:
MargoReadbetter · 04/07/2015 07:09

Awful. My DDs are 7 and 10 and noone has been so stupid as to ask about boyfriends. I guess it depends on the tone of voice and the relationship but I can't imagine when it would sound ok.

sebsmummy1 · 04/07/2015 07:10

It's grim and I'm not sure how common this is. Don't remember anyone saying stuff like that to me when I was young.

Tequilashotfor1 · 04/07/2015 07:12

I don't know why they do, its weird. I used to say 'don't be stupid' . And it killed the conversation.

My friend also has it with her son. He is attractive (14) but when grown women post comments like 'ooh if he was ten years older' ect... It pisses her off. She as occasionally wrote ' you'd still be too old - stop perving on my son'

The80sweregreat · 04/07/2015 07:14

That is just weird. Your DD is 5 and they are asking these type of questions as if she is 18!? I have never heard such rubbish, why cant children just be left alone to be kids not mini adults. I would be pissed off to. I really despair how some people think!

Snozberry · 04/07/2015 07:19

I have had similar with my 2yo, once when playing with following around a little boy at softplay I got "Ooh someones after a boyfriend!"

Fucking weird and not at all cute which is what I am sure they are going for.

PointyBirds · 04/07/2015 07:20

Those questions:

The first one is stupid
The second one is creepy
The third one is downright dangerous, what kind of message is that to give to young girls about how boys/men should behave?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 04/07/2015 07:20

Yanbu, but I'm not sure it's anything new. I remember being asked about boyfriends when I was around 6/7 by family members. I also remember my grandfather saying I was so lovely that he was going to marry me when I grew up. I mean, how inappropriate is that. It was a long time ago but still, how weird.

Sephy · 04/07/2015 07:20

I've had this with my 18 month old! A neighbour asked us where we were off to today, I said we were off to visit "Matthew" and she said "oooh, is he your boyfriend?" To DD. I wasn't really sure how to react! Don't want her to be paranoid about being friends with boys in case it's misinterpreted. I know she's a bit young for worrying about that yet, but just the attitude annoys me.

Snozberry · 04/07/2015 07:21

Tequila that is awful, uncomfortable all round.

SeasideSunshine · 04/07/2015 07:23

I hate this, and I see it a lot. And someone I know calls their 5/6yo "sexy boy" a lot too, which aggravates me (although I say nothing, as it's their child). There is nothing "sexy" about a 5/6yo boy. Hmm It's odd IMO.

TurnOverTheTv · 04/07/2015 07:23

I've got four girls ( oldest now in mid teens) and I don't recall anyone asking this, ever. So inappropriate. And gross!

Tequilashotfor1 · 04/07/2015 07:24

snozberry it is.

I think as its women saying it (in my experience) it's seen as jokey. But it's not I think it just goes to show the sexualisation in children can be quite engrained. Sad

mrsdavidbowie · 04/07/2015 07:24

There is a type of person who does this isn't there? Usually call babies sexy too.
Thick as shit.

DevonFolk · 04/07/2015 07:25

I fucking hate this Angry
DD started school this year and there's been far too much of this kind of comment. She's being taught that having a boyfriend is the most important part of being at school and around boys. The one thing that made me feel slightly better was when I realised she didn't actually know what a boyfriend is.

TurnOverTheTv · 04/07/2015 07:30

Do you mean common Grin mrsdavidbowie

Peacheykeen · 04/07/2015 07:44

That is inappropriate and would make me feel uncomfortable too. When I first read your thread title I thought your dd was a teen then I read she was only five. Why would anyone say that to a five year old so creepy. Yanbu

Floundering · 04/07/2015 07:50

Annoys me too. Also the presumption that she'll go for boys ...way to start stereotyping early from do many angles!

TinyManticore · 04/07/2015 07:57

I can't stand people calling babies and small children 'sexy', it's revolting. Hugely inappropriate word to use, and weirdly, usually comes from the type of person who would smash up a paediatrician's car because they've misunderstood something from the Sun.

temporarilyjerry · 04/07/2015 08:03

I used to teach a boy and girl, both 5, who were good friends. People were always asking, "Are you going to get married?" No, they are 5 years old and friends.

I also don't think it's a great question to ask a teen. I remember being asked this and feeling that there was something wrong with me if I didn't.

ConfusedInBath · 04/07/2015 08:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tobysmum77 · 04/07/2015 08:07

If dd was asked that she'd just Hmm and day yes, I have lots of boyfriends. (Because a boyfriend at 6 is quite clearly a friend who is a boy)

Yanbu op at all.

meglet · 04/07/2015 08:07

I over hear comments like that in the playground Sad .

Evabeaversprotege · 04/07/2015 08:11

My dd is 13 & my in laws ask her all the time if she has a boyfriend.

Dd is studious, never goes anywhere & gets pissed off with it.

The last time they asked her, she smiled sweetly, I thought she was going to say yes just to keep them quiet, but she said "no nanny, I don't like boys, but there's this really cute girl I sit beside in biology" Grin

mrsdavidbowie · 04/07/2015 08:12

turnoverthetv Grin

Ashwinder · 04/07/2015 08:14

Some people are fucking stupid.

DD is very good friends with a little boy. On hearing this MIL cooed 'oh is he your BF DD'? To which I replied 'don't be ridiculous she's 5.'

I hate the insidiousness of it. The idea that a little girl can't be friends or enjoy the company of boys unless he's her 'boyfriend'. Grim.

YADNBU.