"has she got a boyfriend" ? FUCK OFF

[trufflehunterthebadger]

SIL (and many other people apparently) seem absolutely fixated with DD having a "boyfriend"

"Has she got a BF yet ?"
"Ah, she has got a crush on uncle x"
"That boy is rough because he likes you"

DD is 5. WTF is wrong with people ? aibu that this topic ends up in me cutting off the person asking the fucking stupid vapid question quite curtly ? DD really likes SIL's husband and the other day it was "aww, she's got a crush on him, look, she won't leave him alone" . MIL is nearly as bad

Has anyone had this ? Why on earth do people do it ?

maxxytoe would you please explain why you use the word 'sexy' to describe your son?

This used to annoy the hell out of me as a teenager. I remember once when I was about 15 and being at some family thing. My male cousin was the same age as me and the elderly relatives were questioning him about what he wanted to do when he left school, career plans etc. Then turned to me and asked if I had a boyfriend yet. No interest in what I planned to do with my life just this assumption that finding a man must be my priority
Wish I had had the presence of mind of Evaneavers dd

Seriously gak at "sexy" for any child. In what universe is that an ok word to describe a baby/child? It just isn't. There's nothing "lighthearted" about it, it's just wrong. Anyone who looks at a child and thinks "sex" is a paedophile and needs help.

I don't like all this talk of kids being sexy and the sexualization of kids in general, it's just creepy.

A recent trip to a softplay left me opened-mouth with tiny girls girating around a pole filled with water and bubbles to chart music - it just looked so wrong. It was meant to be a 'disco' room but these kids were 5+

On a side note DS 5 does say he has a girlfriend as his best friend is a girl and he says they'll get married when they get older (he also says they are going to live on mars ?!? ). This is not something encouraged by me or DH it's just something kids pick up through observation and copying sometimes.

Yes, maxxytoe I too would like to know why you call your son sexually attractive.
There are so many other positive and non-creepy words you could use to describe your child. Why choose this.

When I was thirteen, an elderly man (family friend) told me I looked "good enough to be raped".

Another man told me (same age) I would look good in stockings and suspenders.

we just think its funny , it's not a big deal in our house

What the hell Petridish! Please tell me he didn't remain a family friend after that!

omg that's definitely weird. at that age they just want friends.

and besides who's to say in a few years time it's even going to be boys she's interested in.

and yy to sexy being weird

Calling children sexy is revolting I think. To look at a little sweet toddler and think and say 'sexy' in the same context is just awful. Let's preserve innocence. I also find it wrong with pre-teens too - it all adds to the pressure of secondary school and finding boyfriends and girlfriends and making it all about the opposite sex when it is just friends.

Thank goodness my DDs are through all that and luckily they had just had boys as friends and no more with no hidden agenda.

There are people who call kids sexy? I had no idea about this?

maxxytoe - I bet your house is a right laugh, casual paedophilic comments about your own kids, and all...

I have a great uncle who's asked me my entire life (from aged 4+ that I can remember) ''will you be my girlfriend''? I was extremely uncomfortable and wish my parents had cut him short - they usually laughed it off and I did too. I can't wait for him to die honestly, just for the sake of my younger self.

Calling kids sexy is nothing to do with paedophilia it's just a trend among not-very-bright people.

There's a woman at school, who picks up her son from reception every day with the greeting, "Hiiii Stud..." I'm just waiting for it to catch on.

maxxytoe... perhaps paeodophiles aren't a big deal either? Underage sex? Predatory men and women coo-ing over your 'sexy' children? I hope that you're just posting for kicks or to be goady because your posts make me feel sick.

I don't think of it as paedophilia. I think of it as pathetic parenting and sexualising of children.

JohnFarleysRuskin... It has everything to do with 'acceptance' though and that encompasses an extremely broad spectrum of deviant behaviour.

Like the ubiquitous 'flirting' and the idea that children can be capable of it. It's a very short step to victim blaming for rape, ie. he/she knew what they were doing, just because they're underage they look older and behave older and they wanted this.

It needs stamping out. Children do not flirt and they are not sexy.

Yanbu sorry but I find that quite creepy that fully grown adults would ask a 5 year old about the opposite sex in anyway !

Is it just women who do this? I can't recall hearing about any fathers describing their infant daughters as 'sexy'.

I should've added to my last post, for those who think it's fine for them to call their own children 'sexy', would it also be fine if their teachers used the same word about them? What with it being 'lighthearted' an' all.

My mum and dad used to talk about how their GC were flirting with waitresses or waiters when they were 2 or 3 years old. I hated it.

Grunt - he was a friend of my grandmother, my parents didn't like him.

He was vile- used to leer at me if I was sunbathing in shorts and t shirt.

When I was just a tweenie, he bought me a bottle of "sexy" perfume.

Oh I agree lying.

Sound to me like some people want to over sexualise children from as early as they can identify them as sexual beings, whereas others (most of us) would prefer children were children and the sexual obsessiveness learn to STFU.

It's not their fault. They have grown up and become adults in an overly sexualised world and they are too poorly educated/ignorant to understand that sex and children do not mix. In their minds it is harmless banter.

It isn't appropriate, and if anyone made suggestive comments like that about my kids, I'd rip them a new arsehole (figuratively speeking).

I would wonder what their childhoods were like.

There are many, many accusations of child sexual abuse coming to light nowadays. Just guess how many are not coming to light?

Just a thought.

Its the sort of thing the dreadful women in Blinging up baby do. And the doting Nanas and aunties do too.

"Its the sort of thing the dreadful women in Blinging up baby do. And the doting Nanas and aunties do too."

Which brings me back to the question I asked above. Is it only women who do this? Would it stop being 'funny' if a father kept calling his daughter sexy?