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AIBU?

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Original poster

"has she got a boyfriend" ? FUCK OFF

211 replies

trufflehunterthebadger · 04/07/2015 07:06

SIL (and many other people apparently) seem absolutely fixated with DD having a "boyfriend"

"Has she got a BF yet ?"
"Ah, she has got a crush on uncle x"
"That boy is rough because he likes you"

DD is 5. WTF is wrong with people ? aibu that this topic ends up in me cutting off the person asking the fucking stupid vapid question quite curtly ? DD really likes SIL's husband and the other day it was "aww, she's got a crush on him, look, she won't leave him alone" . MIL is nearly as bad

Has anyone had this ? Why on earth do people do it ?

OP posts:
BlusteringBlues · 04/07/2015 08:20

Annoys the hell out of me. I thought we had managed to avoid it until I went to collect my dd from school and her teacher (yep you read that right-her teacher!) said 'ooo mini blistering are you going to tell mummy your news?' Cue me looking puzzled and excitedly to the both of them thinking she'd done something amazing. The teacher carried on 'mini B has got a boyfriend haven't you? Isn't that fantastic?' It caught me completely offguard and I ended up with a false smile on my face meekly saying 'aw she's got a friend who is a boy, lovely!'.
My dd was 6! Really expected teachers to know better.

Esmeismyhero · 04/07/2015 08:20

I hate this too!! My dad and dsis have a habit of doing this, I cringe so much and I felt my judgy pants practically giving me an atomic wedgie.

It's wrong, it's basically sexualising a Child Ffs.

FryOneFatManic · 04/07/2015 08:26

Evabeaversprotege I like the sound of your DD. What was your inlaws reaction to her comment?

Lottapianos · 04/07/2015 08:27

Absolutely gross and highly inappropriate at any age, whether 5 or 15 or 45! As for people who describe babies and children as 'sexy'..... The poster who said 'thick as shit' had it right!

WishIwasanastronaut · 04/07/2015 08:27

Wow, just wrong on so many levels. I was at friends last night and there were two 6 year old there, a boy and a girl, very close, best of friends. The adults just couldn't leave it at that and there were comments about them being like an old married couple and (albeit light-hearted) comments about planning the wedding. I sat there thinking 'just let the kids play together FFS' and felt like I had a sense of humour failure...

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 04/07/2015 08:28

I just red the OP for now cause got to be out he door soon but YANBU OP! Prople are fucked in the head.

Egosumquisum · 04/07/2015 08:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

The80sweregreat · 04/07/2015 08:32

Why do we want our kids to grow up so fast? I know some of it may be banter, lighthearted chit chat for something to say type of thing, but seeing kids dressed up as mini mes, 14 year olds looking about 16 or 17 is just wrong. I know i sound old fashioned! Not that things were perfect in my day either, but the internet hasnt helped the sexualistion of kids imo.

Dunkyourcustardcream · 04/07/2015 08:35

Any stupid question like this this in the future should be met with the title of your post.

MargoReadbetter · 04/07/2015 08:38

14 year olds looking 16 or 17 is largely out of their parents control, I'd think. Of course they can dress 'inappropriately' and make mistakes. It shouldn't mean all that much, just that they're young and silly and experimenting with clothes and make up.

EthelCardew · 04/07/2015 08:39

mrsdavidbowie Wow, I also know someone who posts photos of their baby/toddler on FB and comments "my sexy girl".

I mean, WTAF?! On what planet is that an appropriate comment?!

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 04/07/2015 08:41

My son started at a new school in October. He's seven and has Asperger's. On going to pick him up I was greeted by another parent, whose daughter had filled her in about the new boy. Apparently no less than seven girls had asked him out and he'd ignored them all, and they wanted to know why he didn't want a girlfriend. I told her that he was only sodding seven and that for a change it wasn't my child with the problem in that situation.

Idiocy. Utter pathetic idiocy. Why teach your child that their worth is linked to their perceived pulling worth. Fucked up doesn't even begin to cover it.

The80sweregreat · 04/07/2015 08:41

Yes, i suppose i am going off topic there a bit. Havent got daughters so my views are a bit skewed!

StarlingMurmuration · 04/07/2015 08:44

In my NCT group, the mums are already pairing the babies off. It's jokey but it still winds me up.

Evabeaversprotege · 04/07/2015 08:46

fryone they're Christian church goers who don't "believe" in being gay. Mil thought she was joking so tutted & carried on with her knitting.

However, I have a suspicion she was telling the truth & testing the water a bit!

ASAS · 04/07/2015 08:49

Evabeaver I was going to say great come back from her, although it's a shame if she's already aware that statement has shock factor. But frankly good for her if she's testing the water.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 04/07/2015 08:50

Wow. Poor ds!
I would answer with "she has lots of friends, some of them happen to be boys"
Let the poor girl have a childhood!

ASAS · 04/07/2015 08:51

Oh and BTW I'm a fully paid up bible basher and God is love, ALL the loves.

Finola1step · 04/07/2015 08:54

I think it is a load of nonsense. It makes me wonder if people come up with this kind of rubbish because they have verbal diarrhoea and can't bear not saying anything. So they come up with this "jokey" shit.

As for people applying the adjective "sexy" to babies and young children! Dreadful. If I ever saw that on fb I wouldn't be able to ignore it. I would question the adult over whether they understood the definition of "sexy" and if they did, could they please justify how it is appropriate to use it to describe a small child.

MissTriggs · 04/07/2015 08:58

"last time they asked her, she smiled sweetly, I thought she was going to say yes just to keep them quiet, but she said "no nanny, I don't like boys, but there's this really cute girl I sit beside in biology"

Go girl!

FreudiansSlipper · 04/07/2015 09:00

Crush on her uncle that's a weird thing to say. I remember having a what I can only describe as a crush on a friends father I just liked being around him but I guess we attach the word crush as having sexual feelings which I did not

ds(7) has had a number of girls in his class who want to marry him and there is a girl he certainly likes in a way that is different to liking the other girls. He often tells me about his friends who love girls

This has not been encouraged and was surprised when it came up

I find using the word sexy very odd and the asking about boy/girlfriends but not children talking about it themselves

Icelandicsuperyoghurt · 04/07/2015 09:05

It's impossible to get round the mindset of ridiculous questions like this. It's just reminded about a nurse in the PICU when DD was born (30 years ago) which now I think about it is beyond potty. DD was in the next incubator to a teeny baby boy. The nurse referred to him and dd as gf and bf!!!!!!! Ummmm they're both a few days old. They're both premature and they're both ill! In hindsight, I'm sure she was trying to lighten the atmosphere etc etc, but still seems v weird.

Lottapianos · 04/07/2015 09:05

'Don't believe in being gay' - love it! Some people are batshit

Yes I think for some people it is just something to say but that doesn't make it any less creepy

CruCru · 04/07/2015 09:08

It's damn irritating. And so damn coy.

Andrewofgg · 04/07/2015 09:09

I have only brought up the blue model but I would have been bloody angry with anyone who taught him to be rough with a girl because he liked her!