Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

is he being selfish or am I a killjoy?

201 replies

fabby40 · 11/06/2015 10:29

So we have 3 young dc. I am a sahm but I am looking for part time work. Dh is about to be between jobs and we have received a large inheritance. Once mortgage paid off we will have maye 150k in the bank.
now dh wants to spend maybe 30k converting the loft so he can have a room for him to use as a hobby room. Thinking building train tracks etc etc.
I am of course happy to support him in this (it is his inheritance) but I do have some qualms about spending alot of money when we will both be between employment. Everyone round us seem to be of the go for it mate mentality which I understand following a bereavement .
mn jury what do you think?
aibu

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 11/06/2015 10:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully · 11/06/2015 10:32

Um, building train tracks? A grown man?

Is that really a very attractive trait in a partner?

AnyFucker · 11/06/2015 10:33

He wants a playroom/man cave complete with train tracks ?

what a knob

Original poster
fabby40 · 11/06/2015 10:34

I guess my worry is that we could have to live off the 120k if it takes time for us to find employment.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 11/06/2015 10:34

Well that's a worry too, yes.

ImperialBlether · 11/06/2015 10:35

I'd say get the jobs first then spend the money.

lizabeth0607 · 11/06/2015 10:35

You will have your mortgage paid off and 120k! I personally love loft conversions, go for it.

tictactoad · 11/06/2015 10:35

It's his inheritance and therefore his to spend.

He's using some to pay off the mortgage which benefits all of you. Let him have his hobby room. Chances are you'll get some if not all back if/when you sell anyway.

PoppyBlossom · 11/06/2015 10:35

Personally, I believe it's his inheritance And he should be allowed a portion of it individually. What he wants to spend the money on too is pretty sensible, he doesn't want to go to Vegas and buy a Porsche, he wants to make improvements to your family home.

However, "being between jobs" is a pretty ambiguous term, does he actually have a job offer?

HellonHeels · 11/06/2015 10:36

Would a properly done loft conversion increase the value of your house by the amount spent (or more?)

If so, it seems a pretty good use of some of your money. Though if you're living rather cramped up (DCs sharing rooms etc) that would seem a little selfish if the loft could be used as playroom, bedroom space etc.

Living off capital is not a good idea; how easy is it going to be to get work? Can your DH get contributions-based JSA?

LaurieFairyCake · 11/06/2015 10:36

How long could you live off the 120k?

Realistically? 2/3 years - or do you have a huge mortgage?

I would only worry if it would add 30k value to the house - if it does it's not wasted money at all Smile

reni1 · 11/06/2015 10:36

Could he delay the playroom until you both have jobs again? If this is soon, nothing will be lost and he has a playroom this year, if it takes a long time, you still have the money to tide you over.

dontrunwithscissors · 11/06/2015 10:36

Would the conversion add value to your property?

LaurieFairyCake · 11/06/2015 10:37

No mortgage - that's totally fine Smile

You are incredibly lucky

AhoyMcCoy · 11/06/2015 10:37

If it's "his" inheritance, I would agree with him. Presumably he wants to do something with the money that will bring him happiness - and you will have paid off the mortgage, build your extension AND still have 120K. Surely even if you are both without jobs for YEARS the money wouldn't run out with no mortgage I pay!

Original poster
fabby40 · 11/06/2015 10:38

I think jobs 1st too and will be saying that.

OP posts:
tocmrpouce · 11/06/2015 10:39

Well I think that if the loft conversion could also be seen as an investment which would add value to your house then it should be considered seriously. Its not like he's asking to spend 30k on a sports car.

Duckdeamon · 11/06/2015 10:40

Even with the mortgage paid off and a large sum in the bank, and if you regard the inheritance as his rather than family money (which many and the law wouldn't) £30k is a lot to spend for a man-treat.

Duckdeamon · 11/06/2015 10:41

There is also the question of your (and DC if they're still at home) needs/wants for your home.

Hullygully · 11/06/2015 10:41

Does no one think it's astonishing to be married to an ADULT WHO WANTS TO BUILD TRAIN TRACKS?

WorraLiberty · 11/06/2015 10:42

If you're ok with having the loft converted then imo he should be able to spend a bit of his inheritance on himself.

He's choosing to make you both mortgage free, still with money in the bank.

And as others have said, it will add value to your home.

I would ignore the snarky comments about adults playing with trains. I don't understand why people are into lots of hobbies, but it doesn't make them less enjoyable to those people.

AnyFucker · 11/06/2015 10:42

Me

AnyFucker · 11/06/2015 10:43

If the train tracks are made an inbuilt or permanent fixture to any conversion they will lower the value of the house

EatShitDerek · 11/06/2015 10:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
fabby40 · 11/06/2015 10:45

Taking away mortgage it would probably last 4 years or so but I guess I am thinking of the dcs future. We live on a road which has quite a low ceiling price so we (he) would benefit from extra space but not sure we would recoup expense long term.
Actually taking away his massive pension contributions and commuter costs it would probably last longer.

OP posts: