to not babysit niece over Christmas

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Hi mumsnetters, newbie here lol. I have been asked by SIL to take her daughter Christmas day, as my bro and her are going away. I refused as its my daughters first christmas. Andwant to enjoy it with her anf my DH. Her daughter is very clingy and prone to tantrums. I refused in a very polite way, saying that its our first christmas as a family and I want to spend it with my DH and baby. My SIL is now saying that I am abandoning my niece because I havea child of my own now. That is not the case. AIBU to not want to babysit.

Well the poor child is being abandoned - but not by you.

How old is she ?

Shame on you abandoning her child

Where are they going on Christmas Day without their dd?

So if you don't have her who will she spending Christmas with??

Personally I do think YABU but that's because I have a really, really adorable niece who I love the bones of and would find it brilliant to have her on Christmas Day

I would ask her if she is sure that you are the one abandoning the child, her own child

So they're piling on the guilt that you don't want to spend the day with your niece, their daughter? Do they not see the irony?

Bloody hell poor little girl. Very weird not to want to spend xmas with your child. Where are they going?

She's 3, and my SIL and bro are going to a christmas party, no kids allowed. I couldn't imagine leaving my daughter with someone else christmas day, but this is my SIL all out lol.

Presumably your brother is doing it too? Everyone is very down on the mother rightly so, but I think the child's dad has an equal part to play

Not. Your. Problem.
Your only problem is having a twat for a SIL.

If they both had to work Christmas Day, but to go away? Where could a couple plan to go on Christmas Day that doesn't involve their child

Dont get me wrong, I love my niece to bits. But I just wanr to spend time with my dd and DH that day.

Yes, I agree. My bro has a part to play in this too.

I wouldn't be able to turn her away because God Knows who she'll get dumped with otherwise, by the sound of it.

I'd find it hard not to tell SIL and DB what a pair of selfish, self-centred, unfit, thoughtless arseholes they were though.

Crikey YANBU - it's your SIL and DBro who are abandoning this child, not you. If you are a parent invited to a kids-not-allowed party on Christmas day YOU SAY NO!!!

Your poor niece having such twats as parents. I'd be tempted to have her to avoid her being dumped somewhere less suitable though.

My SIL has told me if I dont babysit, she and my bro cant go to the party.

"My SIL is now saying that I am abandoning my niece"

Un-fucking-believable! I hope you told her that it was her and her husband who were abandoning their own daughter.

Well that's fine then, they miss the party. No problem.

Oh dear, so they miss a party. Never mind, problem solved!

They should not be parents in the first place if a party is priority over leaving their child on Xmas day. That's disgraceful. What does your db have to say for this?? How old are they?

Not your problem. Although sad for your niece, I'd still say no. If you back down now they'll know they just need to pull your heart strings and you'll be babysitting her all the time regardless of convenience.

YANBU. They are. A lot.

Poor niece though.

Boohoo they don't get to go to the party. Try spending their Christmas with their three year old daughter!

What parent of a three year old would want to go to a party on Christmas day at which their child was not welcome? Your SIL is being an utter tit, I think if you cave on this one you will be setting a dangerous precedent.