Mumsnet in the event of a public emergency (LIGHTHEARTED!)

[Username721]

This is not aimed at undermining any real issues people face. It’s just a bit of fun!

Just read a thread on whether we’d get a warning if there was a nuclear bomb and a few people had commented that Mumsnet would go crazy. It definitely would.

So, in the event of nuclear war, a zombie apocalypse or other emergency that will (probably) never happen, what would we see on here?

“DSS attitude causing an atmosphere, AIBU to ask him to leave the shelter?”

”Government emergency broadcast message is misogynistic.”

”DH out scavenging with another woman, should I be worried?”

”Next door neighbour partially blocked my driveway with husband’s body. Should I confront them? PHOTO INCLUDED”

What else would we see?

BRILLIANT examples there

mine is ‘Struggling with being with others in the bunker, could I be autistic?’

Can’t believe I forgot to include one like that. 😂

What no diagrams !!!!

How many meals can you get from one tin of beans

I made this slug feed my family for a week!

We got invited to be helicoptered out of the danger zone but it was an evening-only invitation, AIBU to refuse?

Those zombies are attacking you because they're bitter and jealous of you OP.

No matter what the AIBU is, even if they are completely reasonable, one of the replies will be "You sound like hard work"

”DH out scavenging with another woman, should I be worried?”

😂😂😂

‘Struggling with being with others in the bunker, could I be autistic?’

😂😂😂 (I hope you've got your hard hat on! 😁)

The hordes didn't take their shoes off while trampling over MY shelter, should we go NC?

MIL won't share her dried squirrel tail with the kids, AIBU to lock her out of the bunker?

Are brown or blue overalls in this year?

Creating a feature wall in bunker - I need ideas please!

AIBU to expect shoes off in the shelter?

It's fine to go outside in a nuclear wasteland, don't believe the do-gooders and dementors and public health officials. Who cares if we spread it around, we all have to die sometime and I'd rather go enjoying myself sunbathing in a mushroom cloud than forced inside by anyone!

Feature walls are so passè. You sound like hard work.

I can't believe you're not wearing a mask. Have you no consideration for those around you?!

"Someone reconfigured the slop bucket to gender neutral."

My husband is now identifying as a fungus zombie - should I LTF?

Shall we take bets on how quickly this thread deteriorates into really not light hearted at all

I'm guessing 8 minutes and 37 seconds! (Bit like a nuclear bomb countdown)

Does anyone know if Chanel No 5 been discontinued? Not available to buy anywhere online, not even on eBay and it's been my favourite perfume for the last 4 decades. I left my half empty bottle at home because I (stupidly!) thought the cat was more important to rescue in an emergency. House has been destroyed in the nuclear blast and security won't let me leave the shelter to go look for it.

AIBU to think the tax payers shouldn't be paying for Meghan's bunker?

Excellent thread, making me giggle 🤣

"Omg I can't believe your husband invited another woman into the shelter. LTB"

"I went outside to see if I could find an open takeaway and now my skin has gone green and fallen off. I've had a negative LFT, any doctors on here who can put my mind at rest?"

I'd be busy giving nuclear winter forecasts.

You ate carbs? Nuclear winter is NO EXCUSE to eat carbs, you've only let yourself down and I'm not surprised you feel bloated. It's not the radiation, it's the bread you found in a skip to feed your family.

How often to you wash your government issued overalls, the slattern next door, only washes hers twice a month. Aibu to think that’s a bit grim 😱

L*ove. Laugh. Die.
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