Mumsnet in the event of a public emergency (LIGHTHEARTED!)

[Username721]

This is not aimed at undermining any real issues people face. It’s just a bit of fun!

Just read a thread on whether we’d get a warning if there was a nuclear bomb and a few people had commented that Mumsnet would go crazy. It definitely would.

So, in the event of nuclear war, a zombie apocalypse or other emergency that will (probably) never happen, what would we see on here?

“DSS attitude causing an atmosphere, AIBU to ask him to leave the shelter?”

”Government emergency broadcast message is misogynistic.”

”DH out scavenging with another woman, should I be worried?”

”Next door neighbour partially blocked my driveway with husband’s body. Should I confront them? PHOTO INCLUDED”

What else would we see?

‘Crying and shaking - found drugs in teen DS’s bunker bag’
‘They’re potassium iodide OP’

DH is complaining we only have one whole chicken to eat in the bunker. I’ve explained that it will last 2 weeks but he doesn’t understand.

DH wants to move MIL into our bunker. He says she can't forage by herself. However, we've been low contact ever since she gave DD6 a packet of gummy bears she found in an abandoned shop that were two months out of date. AIBU to say no?

MIL is outside the bunker begging us to let her in. She once made a comment about the outfit I bought my DC and we have been low contact ever since. Should I let her in?

Housekeeping
Does anyone have a recommendation for the best Hoover to suck up all this radioactive dust?
Style and Beauty
Where to shop for best clothes on a budget to cover up radiation burns, full length and long sleeves needed and pockets for a Geiger Counter would be useful

The bunker is grey. AIBU to say it’s tacky and refuse to go in it?

Asda delivery driver was a zombie and attempted to eat DS1. AIBU to switch to Waitrose?

'Have a hot date tonight foraging for berries, but I only managed to bring one pair of jeans and a t-shirt to the bunker. Can anyone help me style it up?'

'I know they're hated on MN but can anyone recommend a good toilet brush for my hole in the ground?'

'Skin is turning yellow from all the radiation, what foundation should I use?'

'I know there's a nuclear war on and we're all going to die anyway but I'm worried about Covid. AIBU to make dh and dc sleep outside so I don't catch anything?'

@PuttingDownRoots

Anything more than one bean a day is pure gluttony!

‘Ugh MIL brought a toilet brush for the shit bucket in the bunker! WIBU to go no contact? Or is this the start of dementia?!’

I have decorated the bunker with some rather lovely branches and stones that we found outside. CF neighbour said they were twigs and pebbly shit. So rude! Anyway I’m happy to share photos if it helps give anyone ideas to brighten up their bunker.

OP

I can't understand your post, there are so many typos, no punctuation and your grammar is non-existent. Give your head a wobble and stop the self indulgent whining, everyone's skin is peeling off. You're not a special case.

"This woman in the shelter just ate two slices of toast. AIBU to think she is greedy?"

🤣

We got invited to be helicoptered out of the danger zone but it was an evening-only invitation, AIBU to refuse?

Response would be "it's an invite, not a summons!"

Handhold please - think a local (ish) town has just been nuked. Anyone got any tips?

Are you normally so anxious OP?

Log it with 101

I heard that too OP, think it was just the Mumsnet chicken coming in to land though.

This is a total non event - I couldn't get worked up about it.

This has happened to my town 784 times - you'll be fine OP

What's the zombie hoard like where you are? It hasn't reached us in Yorkshire yet but my sister in Sheffield says it wasn't too bad. She got a day off work though.

DH wants to 'open' our bunker. AIBU to insist we test for poison dust clouds?

"I was bitten and now I am craving human flesh."

"Have you done a Covid test?"

Each street has allocated bunkers - fair enough, but the guy from the next street has parked his car outside our street bunker 😡😡😡 It’s obviously now slimy and disintegrating, but still, my car should be parked there .. AIBU?

Brilliant thread OP

It's all Brexit's fault. Do you think I can get a passport to move to another country's bunker?

Get your three legged ducks in a row

”Government emergency broadcast message is misogynistic.”

I know, I know it's a light hearted thread, but let's not criticise folk for calling out misogyny. It's so ingrained and won't change unless we speak up.

Can we go instead with government asks for misogynistic thread to be deleted due to "privacy concerns"?

Has anyone asked about a private bunker for their own mini-family yet? Or mentioned the right to quiet enjoyment of the bunker?