Mumsnet in the event of a public emergency (LIGHTHEARTED!)

[Username721]

This is not aimed at undermining any real issues people face. It’s just a bit of fun!

Just read a thread on whether we’d get a warning if there was a nuclear bomb and a few people had commented that Mumsnet would go crazy. It definitely would.

So, in the event of nuclear war, a zombie apocalypse or other emergency that will (probably) never happen, what would we see on here?

“DSS attitude causing an atmosphere, AIBU to ask him to leave the shelter?”

”Government emergency broadcast message is misogynistic.”

”DH out scavenging with another woman, should I be worried?”

”Next door neighbour partially blocked my driveway with husband’s body. Should I confront them? PHOTO INCLUDED”

What else would we see?

Picturing a baron nuclear wasteland, just with a few circling vultures and a last feeble cry of ‘it’s sex not gender’

Rightmove link here to my bunker - please critique! In particular, can I move the downstairs loo or will this devalue my bunker? Should I remove the asbestos cladding/ white cross/ dead rats or does this suggest ‘character’?

Should I report my neighbours?

I'm not answering the door I don't care if AIBU

It’s all very grey isn’t it?
A few plants (use fungus if necessary) and a splash of colour and it will be fine

you win mumsnet today

DH drank the last of the GREEN milk.

I'd saved that. 5 years. For special. 😡

Should I Lobotomize The Bastard?----

so proud, I rarely get a mention

My cleaner didn't turn up this morning. Her excuse was the nuclear apocalypse out there, but WIBU to fire her for poor work ethic?

Also, I heard a rumour that the Lake District has been completely obliterated by a direct nuclear hit. Does anyone know whether the mountains are likely to be rebuilt by August because we've booked a week in Kendall and DH and I REALLY need a holiday? And will there be enough staff in restaurants etc now that the entire population there was been wiped out - DH absolutely hates slow service.

I was happy with a smile 🤣

@BertaHoon

Oh stop now! Hyperventilating!

I'm going to run round and show my neighbour!

Oh no, she's dead too.

I've just shown David Dickinson on tele though. Like a cockroach that man 🤣

It’s the first time DSC are due to come over since the blast. WIBU to test them with a geiger counter before I let them into the bunker?

DH says I wouldn’t do this with my own kids.

Maybe slightly more orange than normal

Post your questions for MN interview with Matt Hancock who says all people in bunkers are lazy arseholes who don't want to work, and if they are hungry they should try eating bugs, or chill out and go to a party.

It's the extra legs that tipped me off.

DH left the bunker to go looting, six weeks ago. He's never been late before. What's happened to him? He promised only to be out overnight, maximum! All 3 DC are crying, they think he's dead!

He's shacked up with a zombie woman and left you. Change the locks on the bunker.

Is he normally late? I mean, he'll probably be back by May. Why did he go out, anyway? Have you got any kids who could look for him?

Yeah, he's shagging Miss Zombie in the bunker down the road. Lawyer up, turnips are expensive.

Our current bunker is quite big, but in a not very nice area. We’ve got the opportunity to move to a better area nearer the wreckage of DC’s school but the bunker is much smaller. WWYD?

My friend has been getting her iodine tablets from a non-sustainable source. I don't think they're even Fair Trade or organic! WIBU to challenge her about it?

My DH left me because I said our relationship was toxic it was meant as a compliment.

AIBU to think that all these people moaning about radiation sickness only have themselves to blame. If they'd just take responsibility for their health, cut out alcohol and sugar, and exercise regularly, they'd feel so much better and stop burdening the health service.

One for classics 😂

Sorry wrong thread

Is Holly Johnson going to do the emergency warning announcement??

(you were around in the 80s if you get that one!!)