Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Mumsnet in the event of a public emergency (LIGHTHEARTED!)

207 replies

Username721 · 10/03/2023 09:46

This is not aimed at undermining any real issues people face. It’s just a bit of fun!

Just read a thread on whether we’d get a warning if there was a nuclear bomb and a few people had commented that Mumsnet would go crazy. It definitely would.

So, in the event of nuclear war, a zombie apocalypse or other emergency that will (probably) never happen, what would we see on here?

“DSS attitude causing an atmosphere, AIBU to ask him to leave the shelter?”

”Government emergency broadcast message is misogynistic.”

”DH out scavenging with another woman, should I be worried?”

”Next door neighbour partially blocked my driveway with husband’s body. Should I confront them? PHOTO INCLUDED”

What else would we see?

OP posts:
Original poster
Username721 · 10/03/2023 10:39

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 10/03/2023 10:31

AIBU to think the tax payers shouldn't be paying for Meghan's bunker?

😂😂

OP posts:
lovelypidgeon · 10/03/2023 10:40

PuttingDownRoots · 10/03/2023 10:06

How many meals can you get from one tin of beans

A WHOLE tin of beans? That's a lot of food and far too carb heavy. No wonder there's an obese zombie crisis! We grow our own lettuce leaves in an old sock and might share one bean between the 4 of us for an occasional special treat.

Original poster
Username721 · 10/03/2023 10:42

DS sitting entrance exam for private school at underground bunker 10 miles away. No good public transport links, should I complain to my MP?

OP posts:
Salverus · 10/03/2023 10:42

Paying for a private bunker when my state bunker is just as good and actually research has shown that children who go state bunker have a better chance of survival in our brave new world? You sound very entitled.

Mañanarama · 10/03/2023 10:43

LTB = leave the bunker

Fckingfuming · 10/03/2023 10:43

DH wants to eat DDog. AIBU to LTB?

FlowersareEverything · 10/03/2023 10:44

should I send my child to the childminder? She has a bit of temperature, but no d and v.

Original poster
Username721 · 10/03/2023 10:44

lovelypidgeon · 10/03/2023 10:40

A WHOLE tin of beans? That's a lot of food and far too carb heavy. No wonder there's an obese zombie crisis! We grow our own lettuce leaves in an old sock and might share one bean between the 4 of us for an occasional special treat.

Show quote history

Agree with this.

If I were to eat beans I would be unable to move for days! I’d be so sluggish. It’s lovely to see that some people are still indulging themselves during this crisis. tinkly laugh

OP posts:
WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 10/03/2023 10:46

My 108 month old DD has always been very bright since she was speaking in full sentences at 7 minutes old. Not just my opinion, other parents in the playground often come up to me just to tell me how clever she is! AIBU to think her teacher could at least be making an effort to set some online work?AIBU to contact the headteacher and ask if they have supplied the teachers with a laptop for this purpose? I know it's only 36 minutes after the siren alert but DD has been offered a place at the highly sought after local prep school for next year and we don't want her to miss out.

Original poster
Username721 · 10/03/2023 10:46

Fckingfuming · 10/03/2023 10:43

DH wants to eat DDog. AIBU to LTB?

What a vile man. Have you considered divorce? What is your relationship like usually? Is he always threatening to eat family pets?

OP posts:
WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 10/03/2023 10:49

Mañanarama · 10/03/2023 10:43

LTB = leave the bunker

Love this!

Moonicorn · 10/03/2023 10:56

‘AIBU to enjoy nuclear lockdown as I don’t have to answer the door to anybody?’

‘DC’s private school isn’t offering online tuition because we’re all going to die in 3 days, AIBU’

‘Another radiation/health anxiety one’

‘4yo finding it hard to sit and do mindfulness in the bunker all day - ADHD?’

‘AIBU to TTC when there’s a nuclear war on?’

‘Is this a BFP or is it picking up the

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 10/03/2023 10:56

I've lost two stone due to no available food and now weigh 35kg.

My toxic (literally) SIL say I am underweight but aibu to think she is just jealous and actually we have lost sight of what normal looks like?

Whereareallthejellyfish · 10/03/2023 10:57

Moonicorn · 10/03/2023 10:56

‘AIBU to enjoy nuclear lockdown as I don’t have to answer the door to anybody?’

‘DC’s private school isn’t offering online tuition because we’re all going to die in 3 days, AIBU’

‘Another radiation/health anxiety one’

‘4yo finding it hard to sit and do mindfulness in the bunker all day - ADHD?’

‘AIBU to TTC when there’s a nuclear war on?’

‘Is this a BFP or is it picking up the

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Salverus · 10/03/2023 10:57

My toxic (literally) SIL

😅😅

DON'T MENTION THE EVENT

Moonicorn · 10/03/2023 10:57

*potassium iodide’

Dammit Grin

Periornot · 10/03/2023 10:58

The apocalypse is a CF. Just say 'no' to it. No is a complete sentence.

You don't have a bunker problem. You have an apocalypse problem.

LTB (leave the bunker).

DH (secret and outing) hobby is taking up most of the bunker. AIBU to confront him?

AIBU to take the labels off all DH's cans of food as he didn't believe in prepping for an apocalypse?

PacificallyRequested · 10/03/2023 10:58

The neighbours keep getting their parcels delivered to our bunker, AIBU to think they are CFs as I know they are in all day?

Ineedwinenow · 10/03/2023 11:02

( on the same thinking as the baked bean post) How many meals can you get out of a radioactive chicken!

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 10/03/2023 11:02

Moonicorn · 10/03/2023 10:57

*potassium iodide’

Dammit Grin

I know I called you a knob on another thread but I did laugh at that Grin

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 10/03/2023 11:02

I cannot get through to my GP surgery because all the staff are dead. This is what you get under a Tory government!

Keir Starmer would be able to reanimate them but he won't get in because the the UK is really conservative with a small C. And he's dead too.

HashtagShitShop · 10/03/2023 11:02

"MIL is making my life misery in the bunker. She is refusing to let me eat the rations and keeps trying to send me out to see if its still radioactive outside. How can I deal with this?"
"could she have dementia?"

Dh told me that if I become a zombie he definitely would divorce me. Should I LTB and find my zombie soul mate?

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 10/03/2023 11:04

Style and Beauty

All my teeth have fallen out. Is it still worth getting Invisalign?

Bunnyishotandcross · 10/03/2023 11:04

My dh needs to play his hobby on the week ends. Is it right I am stuck in the bunker with dc without a break the entire time? Mil says she would have the dc but her bunker is miles away and dh the twat took the car...

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 10/03/2023 11:07

Bunnyishotandcross · 10/03/2023 11:04

My dh needs to play his hobby on the week ends. Is it right I am stuck in the bunker with dc without a break the entire time? Mil says she would have the dc but her bunker is miles away and dh the twat took the car...

At least you have a MIL willing to provide childcare. Perhaps you think about all the people whose entire families are now zombies, and realise how lucky you are. I'm NC with my entire family as they're so toxic. Literally.