Mumsnet in the event of a public emergency (LIGHTHEARTED!)

[Username721]

This is not aimed at undermining any real issues people face. It’s just a bit of fun!

Just read a thread on whether we’d get a warning if there was a nuclear bomb and a few people had commented that Mumsnet would go crazy. It definitely would.

So, in the event of nuclear war, a zombie apocalypse or other emergency that will (probably) never happen, what would we see on here?

“DSS attitude causing an atmosphere, AIBU to ask him to leave the shelter?”

”Government emergency broadcast message is misogynistic.”

”DH out scavenging with another woman, should I be worried?”

”Next door neighbour partially blocked my driveway with husband’s body. Should I confront them? PHOTO INCLUDED”

What else would we see?

I know, I know it's a light hearted thread, but let's not criticise folk for calling out misogyny. It's so ingrained and won't change unless we speak up.

Nope, we shall joke about it if we wish.

’MIL won’t let us in her 10 bedroom bunker, says she needs the space for her stamp collecting. I can’t afford one and have 2 disabled kids’
‘Very entitled OP, she owes you nothing. Hope she enjoys the stamp collecting’

’3 weeks on the market and no viewings. What’s wrong with my bunker?’
‘Overpriced and no windows’

My OH has developed an annoying hobby in the bunker, but it’s too outing to actually talk about.

I bought 26 chickens, knowing that one a week would feed our family of eight for the full 26 week decontamination period while we're in the shelter, but now DCs are becoming fussy and Dteen has become vegetarian. Does anyone have thrifty chicken recipes that could pass as quorn?

DD (18) is always so very rude after she's been on the tin-can phone with her BF, WIBU to cut the string and throw her tin can out the window?

Is the CentreParcs holiday bunker worth the barter price? A dozen chickens for three nights seems overpriced.

Jet2 holidays doesn’t want to refund our holiday due ‘unforeseen circumstances’ - AINBU, we all know there was a risk of nuclear war since 1950s?

AIBU to think that if I can drive the scout minibus a tank really can't be that much harder?

"
" I don't want to share shelter with Mil

Mil is trying to dominate and control the shelter

Dh won't talk to Mil in the shelter am I supposed to make conversation with her until the end of time

And before anybody points out, yes we used credit card to book this but the company hasn’t responded our refund request - will def email CEO tomorrow!

DD 12 has just eaten the last of the Waitrose brie that I had kept for supper tonight and now we only have dairylea slices! AIBU to send her out on her own to find more? The radiation's only mild and she's quite capable of avoiding the zombies?!

Aibu I need to keep our beautiful concrete bunker floor clean so I have requested the family don't walk on it expect for 5 mins each day and they are kicking off. My life's work is in that shiny concreted floor Aibu to simply want to keep it clean?

All of the government issued overalls for girls have slogans like princess and ‘be kind’ on them, all of the ones for boys have ‘little explorer’ and tractors. AIBU to think this is massively wrong and I my DD will never learn how to forage for herself?

I have reported your thread OP. It needs a trigger warning in the title.

In fact MNHQ can we PLEASE have a ‘nuclear apocalypse’ topic? I am sick of these threads taking up active.

OMG this has me in tears! As do most of the others to be fair. I take it we'll all meet up on Mumsnet if the worst does happen? 😂

Does 'public emergency' in the thread title not give warning enough that the content might be somewhat alarming?

😂😂😂

😂😂😂😂😂

I have inherited six million pounds due to all my extended family being vaporised. Should I pay off the mortgage on my bunker or put the money in a long term high interest account? Or just purchase Bitcoin?

AIBU to leave DH for a handsome smuggler?

AIBU to send my children to bunker school in plain white overalls? The school branded ones are so expensive. So as not to drip feed, it’s an Academy.

Complain! Being dead is not an excuse for the shit service we're being expected to put up with more and more these days.

I went to the market bunker the other day and the cashier looked at me funny and then she had the indecency to drop dead! Right in front of me! A customer! I tried to complain but the manager said they were too overwhelmed by radiation to do anything and then they died too! And the worst of it is that my phone has melted so I can't even email head office and complain - but then I guess they'd all be 'dead' too.

Customer service in this country is appalling.

A dog snarled at me in the park. I know it's not the dog's fault but AIBU to think that some zombies just aren't responsible enough to have pets?

Just laughed out loud at this! Amazing! 😂

I laughed so randomly that my toddler also laughed.

But did you spit your radioactive tea all over the keyboard @Username721 ???

Because I did!

Has anyone got a sewing pattern for eye masks? DH glows in the dark so much I can't get off to sleep.