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Original poster

My vibrator has disappeared…

380 replies

Ummmwhereisit · 04/03/2022 14:47

Name changed for this because vibrators.

I’m home alone and was about to indulge in a spot of alone time before having a quick nap.

My vibrator is not in the hidden box in my bedside drawer as usual. I have absolutely no idea where it is. I’ve searched my partners bedside drawer and it’s not there either. I use it infrequently so can’t recall when I had it last but I’m 99.99% certain it will have gone back in the box that it always does… it’s an old box for something unrelated, think iPhone type, with an insert in and the vibrator sits neatly underneath so even if someone were to open the drawer and get as far as opening the box they wouldn’t necessarily know it was there. Obviously partner knew.

We had a few days away last week and both the cleaner and my parents had keys for the house. I was away last night and am not long home.

Where the fuck is it and who the fuck has moved it?

If you've found this page in your search of how to store sex toys at home and for travel, you might find our guide to the best sex toy storage useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

OP posts:
Gonnagetgoing · 04/03/2022 16:16

do you have a dog or cat or cleaner?

Gonnagetgoing · 04/03/2022 16:17

@RosiePosieDozy

I very much think it's one of your DC. Probably just general snooping. I am surprised that it was taken and not put back though.
@RosiePosieDozy - yep - bet they're interested/shocked!
Gonnagetgoing · 04/03/2022 16:19

Does anyone recall the Motherland episode where the cleaner wakes up Julia and thinks her daughter's pink handle bar attachment is a dildo?! Grin

SuperSocks · 04/03/2022 16:20

Ps: older kids and teens absolutely go through your stuff. Especially the "private", aka good, stuff. If you don't want them to investigate your lingerie, sex toys, alcohol, prescription drugs or anything else "adult" and taboo, you'd better lock that shit up.

I must have done teenagerhood wrong! It never would have occurred to me to go through my mum's personal stuff.

MintyFreshBreath · 04/03/2022 16:22

Has a relative taken it? I say this because my husband’s nana found her niece’s one and was using it as a shoulder massager 🤮

MurmuratingStarling · 04/03/2022 16:23

The cat's taken it. To use as a scratching post.

Zippy1510 · 04/03/2022 16:24

It’s definitely one of the kids- probably curious about it but too scared to buy one themselves

MurmuratingStarling · 04/03/2022 16:25

@MermaidEyes

My friend and I used to rummage in her parents bedroom as teenagers and found dirty magazines and videos, and sexy lingerie. My parents were never that exciting! Maybe one of your kids took it to Snapchat it to their mates and forgot to return it?
Maybe your parents WERE 'that exciting' but they just hid it better. Wink
BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 04/03/2022 16:26

Most likely you put it away in a strange place last time and have just forgotten.

KnottyKnitting · 04/03/2022 16:28

Do you have a dog? ( Sorry saw this on Twitter! 😁)

My vibrator has disappeared…
MurmuratingStarling · 04/03/2022 16:31

OMG @KnottyKnittingy! Grin That's fooking hilarious!

Maybe this doggo liked the smell. Grin

I'll get me coat................ Blush

oakleaffy · 04/03/2022 16:32

Have you a dog, @Ummmwhereisit. ?

A friend had a silicone penis shaped one disappear, and it was found in the garden, i
Or rather the bollocks were, completely chomped by their Lurcher.

oakleaffy · 04/03/2022 16:34

We too used to look in parent’s room for “Rude things”
Never found a vibrator though.

TulipVictory · 04/03/2022 16:34

Is your husband using it?! 🤣🤣

I would not mention a thing and see if it reappears 😬

oakleaffy · 04/03/2022 16:38

[quote Ummmwhereisit]@GregBrawlsInDogJail I know. But why take it and not put it back? Surely that’s a recipe for getting caught!!

And if it’s not my partner then I guess I just will never find out because if it’s not the children then I don’t want to gross them out by asking them. That would be horrifying for all parties 😂[/quote]
Indeed!
One bloke i knew kept his on the mantlepiece, almost easier that way, pretending it’s an ornament.
Hiding in plain sight.

I don’t think your DC would have moved it if they were snooping?

I bet it will turn up.

Notcontent · 04/03/2022 16:39

My dd told me someone in her class (all girls, 13 years old) brought one into school once.

marieantoinehairnet · 04/03/2022 16:44

Did you swallow it Grin

lockdownalli · 04/03/2022 16:44

When you went away recently OP, did you take the DC with you or were they home alone?

I am thinking perhaps they had a party/gathering and someone was shagging in your bed and found it in your bedside drawer? Took it for a laugh?

CandidaAlbicans78 · 04/03/2022 16:45

Don't want to worry you OP, but one of my friends found hers had been taken and used ( with a condom) by one of her teenage girls 😱

nomoremsniceperson · 04/03/2022 16:46

When I was about 23 I had to move back home after a breakup and I had a box of sex toys that I hid under my bed. They disappeared. I knew my mum had taken them, she probably couldn't bear the idea of me using them but I always wondered wtf was she doing rummaging through the stuff under my bed anyway? I found them 15 years later in a box in her room after she had died.

It's an unpleasant feeling and a massive violation of boundaries when someone takes your intimate stuff OP. Really fucking manipulative in a way as well because the person who nicked it knows damn well you'll never be able to confront them about it without nuclear levels of awkwardness.

Outedonhere · 04/03/2022 16:49
  • Inlaws - Why? What's the motive?

*Teens - Why? What's the motive?

  • Partner - Why? What's the motive?

Cleaner - Why? What's the motive?

Vibrator thief - Why? What's the motive?

blodbav · 04/03/2022 16:52

@nomoremsniceperson

When I was about 23 I had to move back home after a breakup and I had a box of sex toys that I hid under my bed. They disappeared. I knew my mum had taken them, she probably couldn't bear the idea of me using them but I always wondered wtf was she doing rummaging through the stuff under my bed anyway? I found them 15 years later in a box in her room after she had died.

It's an unpleasant feeling and a massive violation of boundaries when someone takes your intimate stuff OP. Really fucking manipulative in a way as well because the person who nicked it knows damn well you'll never be able to confront them about it without nuclear levels of awkwardness.

I'm annoyed on your behalf! I had my mum going through my room looking for things too. Massive violation, and must've been a bit embarrassing too.

1forAll74 · 04/03/2022 16:57

Some years ago I lived in another house, with a long garden at the back, and overlooking a small field , I was gardening one day, and saw neighbours labrador dog running around and playing with a pink vibrator, llke one of those rampant rabbit ones, he was kind of throwing it about, and sometimes chewing into it.., so have you got a thieving dog ?

Hawkins001 · 04/03/2022 16:57

All the best in search and recovery op

SunshinePie · 04/03/2022 17:02

Just say to your daughter “something has gone missing from my room…” and she will either look guilty and go bright red, or she will be normal and ask what is missing!