My vibrator has disappeared…

[Ummmwhereisit]

Name changed for this because vibrators.

I’m home alone and was about to indulge in a spot of alone time before having a quick nap.

My vibrator is not in the hidden box in my bedside drawer as usual. I have absolutely no idea where it is. I’ve searched my partners bedside drawer and it’s not there either. I use it infrequently so can’t recall when I had it last but I’m 99.99% certain it will have gone back in the box that it always does… it’s an old box for something unrelated, think iPhone type, with an insert in and the vibrator sits neatly underneath so even if someone were to open the drawer and get as far as opening the box they wouldn’t necessarily know it was there. Obviously partner knew.

We had a few days away last week and both the cleaner and my parents had keys for the house. I was away last night and am not long home.

Where the fuck is it and who the fuck has moved it?

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If you've found this page in your search of how to store sex toys at home and for travel, you might find our guide to the best sex toy storage useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

@GregBrawlsInDogJail

Ps: older kids and teens absolutely go through your stuff. Especially the "private", aka good, stuff. If you don't want them to investigate your lingerie, sex toys, alcohol, prescription drugs or anything else "adult" and taboo, you'd better lock that shit up.

Glad mine didn't find my whip

The idea of either of the children taking it is too 🤢 to think too hard about. The oldest has a job and money so I can’t imagine them being so hard up that this is how they’d get their kicks and the youngest, I just can’t see it. But I accept I could be completely wrong.

@GregBrawlsInDogJail I know. But why take it and not put it back? Surely that’s a recipe for getting caught!!

And if it’s not my partner then I guess I just will never find out because if it’s not the children then I don’t want to gross them out by asking them. That would be horrifying for all parties 😂

[quote Ummmwhereisit]@GregBrawlsInDogJail I know. But why take it and not put it back? Surely that’s a recipe for getting caught!!

And if it’s not my partner then I guess I just will never find out because if it’s not the children then I don’t want to gross them out by asking them. That would be horrifying for all parties 😂[/quote]
do you not remember being 13 or 14? Not a lot of higher order, consequence-oriented thinking going on. Besides, there's a fair bet that your mum will be far too embarrassed to ever bring it up.

100% your DC. Either well hidden or binned. Get a new one and a lockable box.

Ugh. I think I’ll just not bother. Do people really have lockable boxes in their bedrooms with stuff like this in?! Where do you keep the keys? Can you be arsed to lock and unlock and locate the keys? Or are you all much more organised people than me and don’t spend 10 minutes every morning scrabbling about screeching ‘where are my fucking car keys?’ Can’t imagine that going down well in the heat of the moment 😂😂

I remember being a teen but I know that even as a teen, handling something that had been anywhere near my mothers vajeen would have made it a hard no from me.

You'll have to call DH and ask

I very much think it's one of your DC. Probably just general snooping. I am surprised that it was taken and not put back though.

Check the kitchen draws have in laws tidy up and mistaken it for a whisk

@rwalker

Check the kitchen draws have in laws tidy up and mistaken it for a whisk

You own the weirdest vibrator. Congrats.

I found my mums.. stash when I was a teen. Not once did I think to pinch them for any reason at all. I recoiled in terror regretting going to pinch a pair of her tights 😂

Mine went missing once
It turned out that for some reason (that’s best known to himself) my son (aged about 13/14 at the time) had taken it to school and was waving it round in the playground
That was an interesting pick up

Could someone have just seen an iPhone box and moved it without knowing what it contained?

Mines missing too OP! I have a bedroom bin next to my drawer where it lives so I can only think Ive dropped it into the bin and thrown it by accident

Could your parents have assumed it's a velvetiser? Check kitchen cupboards 🤣☺️

@valerianaofficiana

Could your parents have assumed it's a velvetiser? Check kitchen cupboards 🤣☺️

Snorted with laughter at this one!

Maybe it was cleaner/parents/children thinking they'd find a charger in there?

Or maybe even your children thought it was actually a phone and wanted to nose at whether it was any good?

I used to rummage through my DM's stuff a lot as a teenager. Saw quite a bit, including a vibrator in its box but I'd never have taken it

If you find it can you let me know if my TV remote is there too. I can't find the bloody thing anywhere.

I remember when I was about 16 my best friend telling me that her boyfriend had found his DM's vibrator and that the two of them had been experimenting with it.
I was

@Bluelillies

Mine went missing once It turned out that for some reason (that’s best known to himself) my son (aged about 13/14 at the time) had taken it to school and was waving it round in the playground That was an interesting pick up

Could someone have just seen an iPhone box and moved it without knowing what it contained?

Hopefully it wasn't for 'show and tell'

I was going to recommend A&E, but I see it’s not missing in action, so to speak.

@Seeingadistance

I was going to recommend A&E, but I see it’s not missing in action, so to speak.

I CACKLED.

One of mine disappeared years ago. Just before ds and his gf went away.
It reappeared when they got back.
Absolutely grim.
I binned it but bottled asking him about it! He moved out soon after thank goodness.

This one time my partners cock ring went missing from 'the draw', to this day it is a complete mystery....

Oh, sorry! I wondered why this torch didn't work! Is that what it is? I'll put it back!

My friend and I used to rummage in her parents bedroom as teenagers and found dirty magazines and videos, and sexy lingerie. My parents were never that exciting! Maybe one of your kids took it to Snapchat it to their mates and forgot to return it?