My vibrator has disappeared…

[Ummmwhereisit]

Name changed for this because vibrators.

I’m home alone and was about to indulge in a spot of alone time before having a quick nap.

My vibrator is not in the hidden box in my bedside drawer as usual. I have absolutely no idea where it is. I’ve searched my partners bedside drawer and it’s not there either. I use it infrequently so can’t recall when I had it last but I’m 99.99% certain it will have gone back in the box that it always does… it’s an old box for something unrelated, think iPhone type, with an insert in and the vibrator sits neatly underneath so even if someone were to open the drawer and get as far as opening the box they wouldn’t necessarily know it was there. Obviously partner knew.

We had a few days away last week and both the cleaner and my parents had keys for the house. I was away last night and am not long home.

Where the fuck is it and who the fuck has moved it?

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If you've found this page in your search of how to store sex toys at home and for travel, you might find our guide to the best sex toy storage useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

@Gonnagetgoing

Does anyone recall the Motherland episode where the cleaner wakes up Julia and thinks her daughter's pink handle bar attachment is a dildo?!

Yup! Lmao 😂 geg

@takingmytimeonmyride - just here to say good user name.

OP did it turn up yet?

My mum found my sister’s vibrator once and brought it to the kitchen table to show me.
Luckily my sister is awful on every level, so I enjoyed some Schadenfreude.

WOULD MANY PEOPLE SUBSEQUENTLY RESPONDING TO THIS THREAD READ THE WHOLE THING, AND I AM USING CAPS BECAUSE I AM SHOUTING.

The OP has found it, the issue is where has it been and it won’t talk.

Buy a new one and keep it in a box labelled "my vibrator"! I guarantee that nobody will touch it then!!!!

You could add "and you are being recorded by a hidden camera!"

@StarlightLady

WOULD MANY PEOPLE SUBSEQUENTLY RESPONDING TO THIS THREAD READ THE WHOLE THING, AND I AM USING CAPS BECAUSE I AM SHOUTING.

The OP has found it, the issue is where has it been and it won’t talk.

You're wasting your time - I tried that one on page 13 - the very next post was a guess !

@HoliHormonalTigerlilly

My sister had a call from her son's school one day to say he had brought in a vibrator and was waving it around in the playground. She said the teacher asked if she wanted it back. She was beyond mortified and said no please chuck it away! Made school pick up a bit embarrassing for the next few weeks 🙈

I hope they took it to the tip and put it in the correct WEEE skip!

This is the reason my defunct ones don't get thrown away, not taking them to the tip and they can't go in the bin!

The only thing more annoying than people that respond without reading the thread are the people that tell them off about it.

This is the reason my defunct ones don't get thrown away, not taking them to the tip and they can't go in the bin!

Surely you could just put them in a black bag, push them deep down into a corner of the skip and just pull the bag away from them? Nobody will see you leaving them, but plenty of later visitors will have a good chuckle about 'somebody clearly having had her money's worth'!

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

This is the reason my defunct ones don't get thrown away, not taking them to the tip and they can't go in the bin!

Surely you could just put them in a black bag, push them deep down into a corner of the skip and just pull the bag away from them? Nobody will see you leaving them, but plenty of later visitors will have a good chuckle about 'somebody clearly having had her money's worth'!

I'm not driving six miles to the tip for one six inch item, no.

It's not embarrassment. Though what you've said would not work, you can't reach into the skip, they're enormous and you have to climb a ladder to throw stuff down into them (totally ridiculous system).

Also, hardly had my money's worth, the bloody things break very quickly.

@LovedayCL

The only thing more annoying than people that respond without reading the thread are the people that tell them off about it.

This! I commented originally on page one and the thread went that fast I still haven't seen if there's an answer or not, I'm not wasting my time reading through the entire thread and the people who comment to read the full thread must be sat at home doing absolutely nothing to have that much time

@StarlightLady

WOULD MANY PEOPLE SUBSEQUENTLY RESPONDING TO THIS THREAD READ THE WHOLE THING, AND I AM USING CAPS BECAUSE I AM SHOUTING.

The OP has found it, the issue is where has it been and it won’t talk.

As I understand the ops latest posts, is that it's still missing in action ?

Never mind, @StarlightLady just read the part

I’ve seen that you’ve found it now but I just thought I’d add my own situations…
I lost one once, never found it, searched EVERYWHERE! I’m 99.9% certain it was my ex that took it but I never did ask her.
I also had loads of nice underwear go missing at one point, when speaking afterwards, ex had admitted (not the same ex) that she had taken it because she didn’t want me wearing it for anybody else…. People are odd! 🤣

There's a Jennifer Aniston movie where she's a cleaner. She uses the person whose house she cleans vibrator, cosmetics and what not. You should watch it. Maybe you should keep a camera in your room and see. Film is called friends with money.

Will either be your kids, or one of their mates

@GregBrawlsInDogJail

It was 100% your younger DC who took it out of curiosity/revulsion/taboo value and then panicked and broke it/tried to hide it.

I agree, sounds like classic younger teen behaviour. I mean I'm pretty sure there were no vibrators in my house growing up but I did this with clothes of my mum, and other stuff, snooped, took them without asking then put them back somewhere random like under her bed because she's already noticed it was missing. For that reason, I recently got a lock box for mine now dd is getting older! (6!) Doesn't mean yours used it necessarily, but curiosity at very least!

Oh! I’ve just noticed some cutting replies to my post about never owning one 😂

Nothing to do with being holier than though or a prude. It’s just a fact. If I felt the need I would get one.

As for the ‘why did you post them?’
Perhaps I needed convincing otherwise which would have been a far more interesting conversation than the hundreds of posters suggesting where it may be when it was found days ago 🤷‍♀️

@Grasping - l’ve convinced others in the past to get one and been warmly thanked, but this would be a separate conversation.

@Grasping There are a lot of things we don't 'need' per se, but make our lives better. Vibrators are one of them. It's like someone saying they've never felt the need to try chocolate. You truly don't know what you're missing, and you won't know yourself if/once you get a vibrator.

[quote StarlightLady]@Grasping - l’ve convinced others in the past to get one and been warmly thanked, but this would be a separate conversation.[/quote]
The massager wands with the plug in version are very good

Talking about getting one, this thread was about a vibey going AWOL, which demonstrates that every woman should have at least two! 😉

@StarlightLady

Talking about getting one, this thread was about a vibey going AWOL, which demonstrates that every woman should have at least two! 😉

Some of the styles and ranges of the different types, I would of thought some mumsnetters, would have a "chest" with various types, styles and designs, especially with the bad Dragon range of different ones