My vibrator has disappeared…

[Ummmwhereisit]

Name changed for this because vibrators.

I’m home alone and was about to indulge in a spot of alone time before having a quick nap.

My vibrator is not in the hidden box in my bedside drawer as usual. I have absolutely no idea where it is. I’ve searched my partners bedside drawer and it’s not there either. I use it infrequently so can’t recall when I had it last but I’m 99.99% certain it will have gone back in the box that it always does… it’s an old box for something unrelated, think iPhone type, with an insert in and the vibrator sits neatly underneath so even if someone were to open the drawer and get as far as opening the box they wouldn’t necessarily know it was there. Obviously partner knew.

We had a few days away last week and both the cleaner and my parents had keys for the house. I was away last night and am not long home.

Where the fuck is it and who the fuck has moved it?

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@Grasping

I’ve never had one Never felt the need tbh

I’m hearing this in a sort of Alan Bennett character voice

How very odd OP! Just a though but could it be in another drawer? 🤔🌭

On a lighter note...I recommend buying the bluetooth model, I believe the "Find my Vibe" app can be easily downloaded. Failing that, my nan was forever losing her keys, she bought a key ring that used to make an audible noise when you whistled.....😉

@Grasping

I’ve never had one Never felt the need tbh

Well aren't you holier than thou

My guess is one of the “kids”. For starters they are
not as prudish about these sorts of things. Which is a bit weird I know (I am a prude).

They’ve been so normalised that…. It may not feel like a huge violation to them (even though it is).

@Grasping - It’s not a need. It’s a perfection based de-stress tool.

Definitely one of the kids. Would they be aware that something was missing that you’re now looking for? If so, thought process would be that they can’t put it back where they found it so they’ll put it somewhere else that’s not in their room but in yours.

Your teenage son/daughters friend or your cleaner if she is fairly new.

@Grasping

I’ve never had one Never felt the need tbh

What's that got to do with anything?

I don't have kids but I don't go on the threads about know kids and tell people I don't have any.

Obviously one of your kids I'm afraid! When I was a teen I looked through all my parents' private drawers. It's just what kids do!

@LovedayCL

Definitely one of the kids. Would they be aware that something was missing that you’re now looking for? If so, thought process would be that they can’t put it back where they found it so they’ll put it somewhere else that’s not in their room but in yours.

This OP. Thinking back to my teen years they would be worried about putting it back in the original place because then you’d know someone had took it, better to put it in another place to make you think you had just put it there and forgot 🤷🏻‍♀️

This OP. Thinking back to my teen years they would be worried about putting it back in the original place because then you’d know someone had took it, better to put it in another place to make you think you had just put it there and forgot 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes, exactly. I remember this thought process well. Also see: when you stole something from a sibling and lied about it and now need to find a plausible deniability way out. Never admit!

I once found my mum’s crotchless knickers... I tried them on (I was a teenager) & couldn’t put them back. She must have noticed, as she only had the one pair!

@Grasping

I’ve never had one Never felt the need tbh

@Grasping You really don't know what you're missing out on! As the joke goes; Why do men exist? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.

I know someone who caught her husband cheating on the ring doorbell, he was leaving the house with the vibrator in back pocket to use on another woman 🤮

Maybe if you took it away with you it’s in your luggage or left behind in hotel. Teenage girls do snoop around parents rooms. Many expensive face creams would end up in my daughter’s bed room, and clothes that she ‘borrowed’. But a vibrator would probably be way too gross to ‘borrow’. I am sure it will turn up.

Unlikely to be used as a whisk but snooping kids might have thought it was a rolling pin. Just sayin.

Dear Lord, you have a regular and presumably trustworthy cleaner and you haven't had anything go missing previously, but you are suspecting she rumages through your drawers, opens boxes within and then steal an obviously used vibrator??!!
You know she not that desperate right?

@CheshireCats yes. That’s exactly what I said 🤨

@Rubyflint

Unlikely to be used as a whisk but snooping kids might have thought it was a rolling pin. Just sayin.

It was in an iphone box. Either a tiny rolling pin or a huge iphone.

I found my mothers when I was a kid looking for Christmas presents. It was in a pink sparkly bag so I thought it was mine.. nope.

DC probably found it, got paranoid that you would notice it’s moved or freaked out and chucked it in the bin. I knew I was worried my mum would notice it’s moved an inch 🤣

As icky as it may seem it's not all too uncommon for young teens to take that stuff 🙊 it could even be they took it, were too embarrassed to put it back and threw it out?

@Sicksmellymess

I found my mothers when I was a kid looking for Christmas presents. It was in a pink sparkly bag so I thought it was mine.. nope.

DC probably found it, got paranoid that you would notice it’s moved or freaked out and chucked it in the bin. I knew I was worried my mum would notice it’s moved an inch 🤣

@Sicksmellymess @Mandyskw I wish people would read all the OPs posts before replying. OP said hours ago she found it after all, and she threw it in the bin.

Oh dear god, this is so mortifying - I really feel for you OP. Personally I couldn’t know that they know, that I know that they know, that... without saying something. Shame feeds on secrecy

As a guy, I would ask your husband

Ah, come on. It's so, so unlikely to have been your cleaner who used it and so very likely to have been one of the DC. Probably the youngest.

At least now you know that you need a lock box for things like this. It would have been far worse to have not even realised your DC had been using it and to carry on inadvertently sharing it. Silver linings...