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What makes someone like this...ridiculously calm

(212 Posts)
gameofthorns Tue 16-May-17 22:14:24

There's this work colleague that works in my office. She's been here 6 months now. 'm not in love with her (honest) 😂

But I find her fascinating to watch!
She just has very very serene mannerisms and an incredibly calm presence. Her movements are completely soft and seem to just flow! She reminds me of a calm breeze!

I've never met anyone like it before. She's so calm she had a calming effect on others too! I find myself feeling calm in her presence and when she works with distressed angry service users she has managed to turn them all into polite, calm young people within a few meetings with her. If people do get angry with her it's like speaking to a brick wall. She shows NO emotion and quickly people feel bad and apologise to her or make an effort to be normal/nice again. She simply doesn't do conflict. If someone talks badly about her, betrays her or generally does something most people would shout at them for, she literally doesn't react at all. Just continues being friendly to the person and forgets about it.

I've never met someone like this. I've met shy people who are quiet because hey lack confidence. But she doesn't. She is extroverted and chatty. Likes to have a laugh but just has completely and utterly calm mannerisms and way of speaking. It's almost like she is in slow motion!!!

Has you ever met anyone like this? What makes someone like this? Upbringing?

And how on earth do I try and become as calm as this?

It's a lovely personal quality to have.

PamplemousseRouge Tue 16-May-17 22:17:07

Watching with interest - I've met a few people like this, and I'm in awe of them a little bit!

Jupitar Tue 16-May-17 22:17:56

Why don't you ask her how she does it. I'm sure she's aware of the effect and it probably took a fair bit of practice to get that way i.e. Meditation etc

Dianneabbottsmathsteacher Tue 16-May-17 22:18:36


JohnLapsleyParlabane Tue 16-May-17 22:18:42

I know someone like that, she does a lot of yoga

gameofthorns Tue 16-May-17 22:21:09

She has great poise. I wonder if it's related to elegance.

ClemDanfango Tue 16-May-17 22:21:27

I don't know but I want to be her sad

gameofthorns Tue 16-May-17 22:22:15

She says she's never done any kind of meditation or yoga but her nickname is 'zen'. grin

gleam Tue 16-May-17 22:23:04


I've met someone who was utterly nice to everyone. You really wanted to spend time with her as she was so delightful.
At the same time you'd want to shake her because, say, the irritating twat at work didn't bother her! Nothing seemed to bother her and she could excuse any behaviour. Partly, I think, because it didn't happen to her because she was so nice!

<and breathe>

OhTheRoses Tue 16-May-17 22:23:35

Part personality. Part acting. Part manipulation.

NavyandWhite Tue 16-May-17 22:23:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shrunkenhead Tue 16-May-17 22:26:30

Magic brownies.

ijustwannadance Tue 16-May-17 22:27:57

She's either an alien, a robot or a serial killer.

She will have pictures of all the people who have wronged her on a wall.

gameofthorns Tue 16-May-17 22:28:09

It's not drugs. We have to be regularly drug tested in our work :-)

user1487175389 Tue 16-May-17 22:28:56

She probably has a very secure attachment to at least one of her parents.

Elvisrocks Tue 16-May-17 22:29:13

I went to school with someone like this. She was very serene and just a lovely person. Everyone gravitated towards her. I would love to know their secret!

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest Tue 16-May-17 22:29:56

Morgan Freeman says that his calm demeanour comes from practising being still.

Most people move constantly but if you can control that then it will instantly give you an aura of being in control.

AnyFucker Tue 16-May-17 22:31:16

Beta blockers

gameofthorns Tue 16-May-17 22:31:45

I've just been wondering what makes someone like this. Really 'placid'.

I'm not an angry person myself but I can get annoyed and stressed.

caz323 Tue 16-May-17 22:32:22

She's sounds wonderful - no wonder you are in awe of her. We need more calm, serene people like this on the planet. Why are they so few and far between. <you can be forgiven for having a crush on her!>.

user1487175389 Tue 16-May-17 22:33:19

Actually, I know someone who is almost exactly as you describe. Possibly even the same person. Underneath it all she's incredibly self centres. Literally centred on herself. Other people can't irritate her because she thinks so little of them (in the sweetest possible way). Therefore the stakes are very low for her when other people blow up at her. Easy to remain calm when you literally don't give a shit about the other person's opinions about you. I imagine thats The Queen's secret too!

NavyandWhite Tue 16-May-17 22:33:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sowhatusernameisnttaken Tue 16-May-17 22:34:32

AnyFucker 😂🤣😂

Ecclesiastes Tue 16-May-17 22:34:39

Ooh, I love people like this. And cheerful people. They're lovely too.

So hard to emulate though. I try, but always end up swearing and moaning.

Westray Tue 16-May-17 22:35:32

Apparently I am like this too.

I do actually get a bit flustered at times, but I am told it never shows. I don't do anger, although I am confident and assertive.
The way she appears is maybe not how she feels- it may not be deliberate though.

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