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'Ladies first'

(215 Posts)
AddToBasket Fri 20-May-16 22:13:57

A male colleague said this to a female colleague today and I instinctively bristled.

FC: On you go
MC: No, no, you go. Ladies first. [stands back, FC passes]

Me (internal monologue) - errrr, aaaahhhhhh.

MC is generally lovely, FC was oblivious and thinking about other stuff. Neither even noticed the exchange. AIBU for being a bit bothered?

EatShitDerek Fri 20-May-16 22:14:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Doinmummy Fri 20-May-16 22:14:54

I think it's a nice thing to say.

AuntJane Fri 20-May-16 22:16:01

Good manners are such bad form .....

flappingbingowings Fri 20-May-16 22:16:33

Would you prefer it if he just let the door slam in your face?

Ameliablue Fri 20-May-16 22:17:55

Yabu

seeyounearertime Fri 20-May-16 22:17:57

I thought holding a door for a woman was basic good manners? I always hold doors, I had no idea that I have been offending women all these years.

NatashaRomanoff Fri 20-May-16 22:17:58

I really, really wish this sort of shit was all I had to get worked up about.

Sparklingbrook Fri 20-May-16 22:18:25

No bristling here.

passmethewineplease Fri 20-May-16 22:18:49

YABU.

Isn't this just a courteous thing to do?

PurpleDaisies Fri 20-May-16 22:19:08

I thought holding a door for a woman was basic good manners?
Holding the door for anyone is basic good manners.

AddToBasket Fri 20-May-16 22:19:54

You are right! It was just 'being polite'. MC was just being nice.

I suppose I'm posting about it because I am conflicted. Pleasantry - but based on gender...

steff13 Fri 20-May-16 22:20:02

I think it's polite. Plus, then I get to go first. smile

KellyElly Fri 20-May-16 22:20:32

I would think it was someone being nice and polite. Nothing else.

wigglesrock Fri 20-May-16 22:21:19

Just to be clear this wasn't said to you, you just overheard it and it's still bothering you.

AddToBasket Fri 20-May-16 22:21:26

I really, really wish this sort of shit was all I had to get worked up about.

hmm Well, if you're so busy with life's problems why are you bothering with this thread?! grin

DurhamDurham Fri 20-May-16 22:21:28

I hate touching door handles so I'd be pleased but that's a whole other issue !!

Thudercatsrule Fri 20-May-16 22:21:33

Id just think he's a gentlemen...99% of the guys where I work would either let it slam in your face or push you out the way!

Aeroflotgirl Fri 20-May-16 22:22:03

Its polite and good manners.

NicknameUsed Fri 20-May-16 22:22:17

Are you always this easily offended?

I really CBA to get worked up about this, so YABU.

KellyElly Fri 20-May-16 22:23:26

I would think it was someone being nice and polite. Nothing else.

ABCAlwaysBeCunting Fri 20-May-16 22:24:29

In the lifts at work, 99.9% of the male occupants will let the female ones out first. I am a feminist, but in all honesty, this is a battle I'm not interested in fighting. I say thank you and exit. The same with doors being held open for me. I consider it basic courtesy and to throw it back at them is rude.

buckingfrolicks Fri 20-May-16 22:25:26

It's sexist from when "ladies" weren't thought to be capable of opening a door. It's the word lady that pisses me off. Lady is an old fashioned distinction between women who laboured (working class) and women who did not labour (mc and above).

NicknameUsed Fri 20-May-16 22:25:47

I knew someone would be along to say it better than I did.

Thank you ABC smile

AddToBasket Fri 20-May-16 22:26:06

Obviously, I am not 'worked up about this'/offended! grin I'm just, y'know, thinking about it.

The bit I'm 'bothered about' is the 'ladies first' comment. I think I said in my OP that MC was being pleasant.

Not overly keen on 'ladies' (a bit Muirfield-esque) to start.

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