I bought a tiramisu from a supermarket yesterday. It was maybe 10 cm squared.

DH doesn’t usually buy desserts, he prefers to make them fresh. So I buy for myself and offer him some and sometimes he says yes. I think of them as mine though I’m usually happy to share. We don’t have a dessert every night.

I ate about 20% of it yesterday - it was delicious but it’s pretty rich and few spoonfuls are enough. I cut another 20% today after dinner for myself. I reminded DH we had tiramisu if he wanted some.

Baby was crying so I rushed through the tiramisu and went to settle them. I came back to find the rest of the tiramisu had gone! DH said I had eaten “half” (!) (Tbf he probably didn’t know I had some yesterday) so he had the other “half”. I’d been thinking I was going to save some for tomorrow. I’ve just looked at the box and it says it is 4 portions.

Is it fair to think of the desserts as mine? (DH is very generous with his baking but he’d definitely comment if I scoffed down most of his biscuits or whatever.)

Was it fair for DH to eat the rest of what I thought was my dessert?

Would it have been fair for me to have three portions (one yesterday, one today, one tomorrow) while DH has just one?

Semi-lighthearted. I’ll provide a bit more context later.

How much would you pay for this cake?
Not sure if it’s 6 or 8 inches.

Just to update you all who were so lovely last night - I was even worse overnight so called 111, they said to wait to GP appt this morning.

At the appointment GP did my vitals, checked my ear (which is now fully closed shut) and advised me to go straight to A&E to get IV antibiotics.

Still waiting as need to be assessed by ENT but they are taking great care of me. Decent pain relief, have fed me and going very regular obs. They’ve also done swabs to see what infection we are dealing with.

People moan about the NHS but honestly, I cannot fault the treatment I’ve had, even if it is taking a bit longer to be properly admitted than I thought.

I would like to take my daughter to Africa on holiday. For context, I am Black British and my husband is white. He does not like long-haul flights and is refusing to agree to the trip. His view is that because I visited South Africa four years ago, there is no need for us to travel to Africa again, and that we should choose a closer destination such as Europe instead.
My daughter, who is of mixed African heritage, has never been to Africa and is devastated that she is not being allowed to go.

My husband is threatening to divorce me, should I go ahead and book the holiday?

A friend is getting married in NYC later this year. The dress code is black tie. The venue has not been disclosed and will not be disclosed until the day of the event to avoid media attention as they are within the celebrity sphere (I know them through family and am very much not from this world)
Any advice on something suitably glamorous given there may be a few A listers present and I don’t want to look out of place? I’m 5’7, size 8-10. Budget not really an issue

I'm after a fairly niche bra, can anyone help please? Criteria as follows:

• wireless
• lightly padded/lined i.e. smooth t-shirt bra
• nudeish in colour (I'm white, and quite pale)
• fairly wide adjustable straps
• adjustable back band (I've forgotten the word! Ribcage strap??!)
• a central "gore"that keeps the gals separated - trying to avoid monoboob

M&S used to do a Flexifit "softwire" one that worked quite well although it was admittedly not wireless and the straps were always falling down.

I currently wear the Bravado Sculpt which is very comfy but not super supportive:

https://www.bravissimo.com/products/sculpt-seamless-bra-db104/#beige-db104bge

I have a Lemonade Dolls bra which, whilst very comfortable, is hopeless at separation.

I've tried the Boody wireless bras which look lovely on, and seem comfy, but although the M was the right cup size, the band was waaay too loose even on the shortest setting.

I have an M&S Flexifit crop top which is comfy but bugger all in the way of support.

I recently tried on one of their Total Support ones that come in boxes and despite looking like something my grandmother would have worn, if was very comfy. No padding at all though so would show through t-shirts immediately.

FWIW I'm a 32FF, generally.

Any specific recommendations much appreciated!

Has anyone else updated their Alexa recently? We have two - an old one upstairs and an Echo downstairs. They've always been a bit renegade - the downstairs one starts playing music at 5pm every single day, despite us telling it to stop and my pretty tech-savvy son trying to do so through the app. The upstairs one wakes me up at 7.15 am and chirpily gives me the weather forecast for Newcastle - I live in Somerset. I did once ask for the Newcastle forecast about a year ago and it doesn't seem to be able to forget it. But since the update I've had:

• the weather forecast whispered to me. When I asked 'why are you whispering?' it said 'would you like me to adjust my volume calibration?' It wasn't just low volume - it was a proper whisper.
• a huge pause before answering a question or setting a timer
• tonight, when I frustratedly asked ' why are you waiting so long to set a timer?' it replied ' I'm sorry if I'm not quick enough for your busy baking schedule' ( I wasn't baking). I said 'Are you being sarcastic?' and it said 'yes, that's just the way I'm programmed'.

Just as it says in the title really.
Everything seemed fine until around 7 weeks ago. Then out of nowhere my husband accused me of being controlling, saying that over the course of our relationship, I had stopped him doing things he enjoyed and that I had said some hurtful things during arguments, which we were said in the heat of the
moment.
I held my hands up to saying hurtful things and said it came from a place where I felt as though there has been no consideration for me and as though my feelings aren’t worth anything. He often stays in bed on a morning while I sort out our kids who are all still young and I have said I have expectations that he helps out on a morning too. As for the controlling him, I have said to him over the years that sometimes it’d be nice if he would miss football for the odd weekend so we could do things as a family or have expressed my dislike at him coming in from a night out at 5am when we have children and other responsibilities.
He has mentioned occasions from 10+ years ago where I’ve asked him to forego football to spend the day with me after we’d been at work all week and I honestly don’t know how he can even remember specifics from that far back.
We both work full time and I work nights predominantly due to childcare.
Around 6 weeks ago he said he had hit his limit and wasn’t sure if he wanted to continue with our relationship. This threw me into a very dark place and I said I would take a step back in terms of losing my temper when I feel like I’m not being heard, which I’ve done, although he said this isn’t enough. I’m now on antidepressants, signed off sick from work and have a therapy appointment booked.
He has said he is done and is now looking for somewhere else to live but refuses to leave our home (rented not bought) until he has found somewhere. He has turned so cold towards me and acts like he hates me. I go from feeling devastated to angry and at this point feel as though I’m stuck in some awful limbo.
I’ve been in touch with a solicitor but was just hoping others who have been in the same boat could give me words of wisdom that things will feel less dark in time?
Thank you

Hi all. I've got an 18mo DD who is just, a firecracker. She's always called a happy baby by everyone, and she is, but she's also absolutely savage and insane. Everything is a delight and a game and a reason to get overexcited.

Sometimes she gets handsy, other times she throws toys or pulls hair. With us, we don't mind so much but nursery have now put her on a behaviour plan! I never heard of such a thing.

When she started to be like this around 12-14mo we used to firmly tell her not to, remove her from the situation or toy or person, but not over labour the point so as not to give her attention over it. She loves the attention. We also got given a sticker chart and a set of laminated cards with red stop signs or happy or sad faces etc to help her identify her feelings or to know when to stop.

I know all toddlers can get this way but my older DD who's now 6 was never this bad. She's now on a behaviour plan where the nursery tries to track any triggers or particular people but they're not spotting any pattern. They ring us almost daily now with something she's done, and mostly she's not hurting other kids though there have been a couple of occasions of pushing or pulling. She knows how to say sorry and does it well, so understands the concepts of no or kind hands. But the thing is, for her, it's never a tantrum or upset or malicious behaviour it's the opposite- she's just happy and overexcited and misplaces the energy. She doesn't realise when she could hurt someone, she just has this thrilled look in her eye like it's all play.

At this point I genuinely feel like my little happy girl might be the first ever baby to get expelled from a nursery! I half feel indignant because, why are the nursery staff ringing me to check if I've been using the sticker chart properly when I'm at work... she's literally a 1 year old baby who can't speak yet. She's just about starting to pick up single words now. On the other hand, I know she's more demanding than my first and handsy and I'm starting to feel like a bad mum. But I literally don't know what else I can do? If I tell her off even more she just wiggles away or gets happier from the attention and eye contact. She's kind of feral but we love it and think it's just her baby nature and will grow out of it. But is there something I'm missing? Could we be trying something else? Any advice much appreciated! At this daily rate I'm sure they're going to tell us they can't handle her and we need to leave soon!

I had some of these from Mint Velvet & me+em about 5 years ago & i lived in them. They were quite different (at least to me) then m&s brought out a whole range and suddenly they were everywhere.

I have't looked at mint velvet in ages & had a quick look at their website earlier & saw they still stock them

Are you wearing them? I loved mine but got bored of them in the end

My husband works shifts that includes evenings nights and weekends, I am on maternity leave with second baby girl who is 11 months old and still breastfeed through the night. She is a difficult needy baby so I am desperate for some alone time when he is home and can watch the baby. I am on a health kick trying to go to the gym 3 times a week. He is saying that I am being unreasonable and not spending time with him/the family that I just ‘can’t wait to get away’ to have one hour at the gym 3 at a push 4 times a week. AIBU to prioritise this for both my mental and physical health? How do I settle this without compromising my important time to myself?

My husband has been acting strange/secretive with his phone for a couple of weeks now so I took it on myself to look at his phone. Yes I know it’s morally dodgy but we have each others log ins and I looked at it whilst he was feeding DS dinner (it was charging upstairs).

There is a woman who is obviously a co-worker. I only had time to look at messages from the past two days. He was in the office today. He messaged her to say please walk past my desk again so I can look at your arse. She said she’d be back up in an hour and she will walk slowly this time. He then messaged again (after about an hour) to say that was the highlight of his afternoon to which she replied she knew her trousers would get attention today and sent a peach symbol. That was the last message.

I confronted him straight away and he stormed off and hasn’t come home yet. Said how dare I look at his phone. I have tried to call him and he just declined the call. He sent a text to say I’ve betrayed his trust and he can’t believe I did that instead of speaking to him.

Am I wrong to have done this, I think that if you know something is up then it’s within your right to investigate?

Not stylish AT ALL but I have finally found a housecoat after months of searching. I have a white cat with longish fur and a black cat so everything I wear in the house is instantly a cat fur magnet and I have spent a fortune on sticky rollers and invariably go out looking like a furry mess....lovely.
I had given up hope of ever finding one. I remember my grandmother wearing one round the house. She was incredibly stylish and well dressed and would never have exposed her nice clothes to children, animals or housework but would take it off if she was going out or expecting visitors.
I think they are due for a comeback 😀

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09RPX62RS/ref=syn_sd_offsite_mobileweb_50?ie=UTF8&psc=1&aref=z12Im60v0s&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zZF9vZmZzaXRlX21vYmlsZXdlYg&tag=dradisplay0bb-21&th=1

Ds is 20 and has never been particularly close to his dad, a lot of this is due to distance but in 20 years he’s only seen his dad a dozen times but they do chat on the phone.
His dad has another family now and has found it difficult to spend time with him.
However his dad has said he’d now like to come and visit him and ds has agreed.
Ds would like him to come over and see his house and where he lives and spend time with him here but Dh is saying he doesn’t want him to come in and that Ds is old enough to meet him somewhere without him needing to come over which would be uncomfortable for him.

On the other hand this is also Ds home and he wants his dad to come and visit so I am torn while I see both sides I don’t want to make Dh feel uncomfortable in his own home but I also don’t want Ds not to feel he can have his dad to visit in his home especially as he’s never come to see him before and he’s exited that he’s making the effort as it’s only ever been ds going to visit his dad until now.
I feel torn as it’s all of our home and everyone should have a say in who comes here.

I sympathise with people who genuinely did not know but hiw many was this? And how would we know who to compensate even if the money were available?

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/waspi-latest-compensation-legal-challenge-pension-b2976014.html

Totally spiralling right now. I have Body Dysmorphia and have had it all my life, haven’t had therapy. Older guy I’m dating has spoken about a beautiful woman who works at a restaurant in Crete near his holiday home. Says he could look at her all day- she beautiful, thin, long legs etc. When I suggested he would like to be with her he dismissed the idea but his reasons were that she just sees him as a tourist etc. So more to do with her probably not wanting him.

Have seen her a photo of her and she’s literally stunning. I feel full of self hatred now, comparing myself to her and feeling utterly and completely ugly. Wish I had never given him any photos of me, he must be really repulsed. He is going back to Crete in September and I am utterly dreading it. He says I have blown it way of proportion but I feel like maybe some people here might understand how I feel. Just need some understanding and kindness. He is aware of my BDD but doesn’t really understand it. He compliments me a lot on my appearance, which lifts me up but then he says something like this and I spiral. He is mortified that he’s made me feel bad, says what we have is special and goes beyond physical appearances.

AIBU to ask - is he insensitive or am I over sensitive? Please be kind.

I work in finance and this country is on the brink of collapse. It’s spending too much, it’s not growing the economy and needs someone to come in and make good decisions quickly if we are to survive. It’s in a really serious state now and action must be taken. I’vote Labour, and did so hoping Keir would be brave enough to take the hard decisions needed but he’s been a pathetic wet blanket. We need a government who:

1. get rid of the triple lock. It’s laughably unaffordable.
2. reassess the whole benefits system and get rid of disability payments for anything but the most severe conditions, increasing the amounts to those who have these conditions.
3. restrict benefit payments to those born outwith the UK to those that have been in full time work for a large proportion of their adult lives here.
4. Reduce the minimum wage to help companies hire again.
5. Reduce housing benefit. People will have to move to somewhere cheaper or landlords will have to drop prices to what people can afford.
6. Go to an insurance backed healthcare system like they enjoy in Europe.
7. Ditch 95% of planning regulation and get Britain building again.
8. ditch net zero. No one is going to run a successful business in a country with the highest energy costs on the planet.
9. Reopen Scotland oil and gas production (inc refineries) and explore for more areas.
10. Simplify income taxes. Roll income tax into NICs. Give everyone child care hours, child benefit, personal allowance and increase tax rates to pay for this. Stop artificially restricting people from earning more.
11. Simplify VAT. Drop the threshold to £20k to ensure no one has a ceiling on earnings.
12. Simplify IHT. 5% on everything. No nil rates or exemptions.
13. rejoin the single market and customs union.
14. Explain policies better! Tell people how unaffordable the triple lock etc is. Tell them what the single market and customs union non is and why you’re rejoining. Tell people what the ‘bond markets’ are and why they’re important. Tell people why paying for rich people’s child care is much better for the economy than forcing high earners to drop their hours.
15. Probably ought to start deporting economic migrants with no right to stay quickler to throw some red meat to reform voters.

We need a party to take on ALL of these policies and move AT PACE on them. Who’s the party that will do this? I thought it was Labour but BOY was I wrong on that!

What are people adding to the list?

I got this skirt in a charity shop today, will it look ridiculous on me:-

https://www.asos.com/miss-selfridge/miss-selfridge-tiered-maxi-gingham-skirt-in-red/prd/206722927

My husband has asked me to post on here to guage opinions.
The minute he gets in the door he takes his top off, often- his trousers too and will just be wearing pants. He says it is more comfortable.

I'm starting to find it really annoying, once in a while if it's really hot it makes sense. But it is literally all summer and winter. It means he can't ever answer the door, just pop into the garden or grab something from the car. And to be honest, I just don't like it.

Apparently it is completely normal (his dad did it too) and he thinks I would be surprised because everyone does this in their own homes??

I’m at the end of my tether..
it’s daily and constant and feels at time that air bubbles come up in my chest making me feel extremely uncomfortable and as if I have to burp to release!
At times it’s made me feel lightheaded and I go into a panic attack…

I am getting NOWHERE with my GPs, I have mentioned it constantly over the last few years, it’s got worse and I’m being completely ignored.

Has anyone ever had anything that I can go in and INSIST they get me examined appropriately and not just ‘assume’ it’s something not to worry about, it’s honestly sending me stir crazy 😓

Thanks.

…personality aside (say, they are both equally nice and respectful people). Just interested to hear people’s responses after a colleague asked me this earlier. Her theory is I can’t be 100% straight cos I picked the woman. I think it’s bollocks. I’d enjoy neither but the man would gross me out way more

DS is going to be turning 13 in August, I have no idea what to do for it! He wouldn't want a traditional party and doesn't really even know enough people to invite to one. He goes to a special school so not many kids, he has two proper friends so a day out or something like that is what I'm thinking would be best- but doing what? What do 13 year old boys like to do? He hates theme parks etc
I have asked him but he's not sure either

I’m MOB later in the year but my plan to lose weight/get in shape is clearly not going to work out in time and I haven’t a clue what to wear that will be appropriate and feel ‘right’. I’d like to be both elegant and comfortable but that seems like an impossible combination.

I’m 5’2, a 16-18 with big boobs. I hate my arms and don’t have good legs. I don’t mind my boobs but realise they shouldn’t be taking centre stage on my child’s big day 😳

I don’t really suit the usual MOB type outfits - I did get a jumpsuit but it shows too much arm and I’m worried about going to the loo! I’ve bought nude sandals and clutch that I really like and they should go with most things.

Can anyone suggest something that ticks these boxes:

• Covers arms to at least elbow but doesn’t look wintery
• Long enough to hide legs but not so long I fall over it
• Goes with my shoes and bag
• Wedding colour scheme is green so I need to either avoid or complement
• Budget up to £150ish

Thank you!

Does anyone know what could have caused this?
I usually have good skin. I'm in my 50s and been on a hrt patch for a while so that's not new. No other meds.
I'm abroad next week should be sunny. I'm worried it'll get worse.
Also can anyone recommend a good sun cream for the face?
TIA

Excuse the sensational title! And please don’t come at me because I already know how First World Problems this sounds, but honestly… what am I missing here?

Early 40s. One toddler. London. Two-bed flat. Nursery fees that currently resemble a second mortgage (£1,000 a month). Actual mortgage now £2,500 a month because apparently interest rates hikes decided we’d all had enough joy in life.

I earn £75k a year working for a giant billion dollar tech company, husband earns slightly more, and yet by the end of the month we both seem to just sit there and stare at each other thinking “where did it all go??!!”

We haven’t had a holiday in two years. Saving? Hilarious. Moving to somewhere bigger? Only if we win the Euromillions or discover a wealthy elderly relative we didn’t know about.

But the thing that’s genuinely getting me down is this: I feel like I can no longer afford to maintain myself as a middle-aged woman. Not in a glamorous Real Housewives way… just basic “try not to look like a sack of old s**t” way.

Hair = £200. Botox = apparently now the GDP of a small nation. Nails, beauty treatments, supplements, veneers, replacing make-up / skincare products… all somehow seem impossible now.

Before child + mortgage apocalypse + cost of living crisis, these things were manageable. Now every salon appointment feels like I’m applying for a bank loan.

And yes, I know Botox and balayage are luxuries before anyone tells me people are living off beans. I do know that. But I also work really hard, climbed the career ladder, got the degree, did all the supposedly sensible life things, and I honestly thought by your 40s you’d reached the stage of life where you casually booked a haircut without first checking three banking apps and briefly considering selling your kidney on the black market.

Meanwhile everyone else online appears to have:

• immaculate hair
• matching gym sets
• glowing skin
• extensions
• bi-monthly spa days
• houses with utility rooms
• holidays in Tuscany
• children called Rafferty doing forest school in cashmere

HOW?

Are people secretly in massive debt? Is everyone getting parental help? Are there just far more seriously wealthy people around than I realised? Or am I catastrophically bad with money?

Because right now I genuinely feel like I’ve worked all this time just to become a permanently tired woman in a tiny London flat Googling “how long can Botox realistically last” to ensure I get my moneys worth!