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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Pool rules changed after outcry over trans official in change room

248 replies

JanesLittleGirl · 29/07/2023 12:26

In today's DT:

digitaleditions.telegraph.co.uk/data/1387/reader/reader.html?social#!preferred/0/package/1387/pub/1387/page/40/article/NaN

Sorry, I don't know how to get past the paywall.

It's about the person who was upset when given the key to the unisex changing room in a Sheffield hotel.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
hiding5675687 · 30/07/2023 09:51

BreadInCaptivity · 30/07/2023 01:04

A toilet/ changing room without women isn't of use to people like Anne

This needs to be said time and again.

In this situation it was a changing room with female children. At what point is this a crime.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 30/07/2023 09:55

At what point is this a crime

Something doesn't have to be a crime for it to be inappropriate and unnecessary.

Forwarder · 30/07/2023 09:58

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain in terms of protection for the likes of Anne, most people don't have a clue how to deal with it. And if there's a covert cross dresser on the committee, urging BeKind, the embarrassed people will defer to someone who seems to have an answer.

Great sleuthing by @NicCageisnotNickCave. Do you work for Reduxx?

If Mrs Combes and the young Combes are reading then you have my utmost sympathy. Sounds like they tried to do the right thing and have been steamrolled for their kindness.

DeanElderberry · 30/07/2023 09:58

For me, each new example of weird XY actions in spaces that were formerly reserved for XX people adds another layer of distaste.

Access to non-consenting women, yes of course I knew that, good old voyeurism and exhibitionism, an old and familiar story. Urine fixation - ugh, but I've taken a dog for a walk.

But this year there's been a lot of demanding that women interacting with transwomen behave in ways that women interacting with women do not behave. The whole insistence on discussing and sharing sanpro is the major one, but this tramping through changing rooms is similar.

They want to look like women, but they don't want to behave like women, and they want to force actual women to behave, and possibly to look, like them. Weirdy weirdy weird.

OldCrone · 30/07/2023 09:59

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 30/07/2023 09:45

It's the naivety that annoys so much, isn't it? predators go where the prey is. If you're a predator and you have to spend time (days, months, years) stalking your prey in order to get near them, then that's what predators will do; because the pay off more than repays the effort.

Watch any wildlife programme and study the lionesses in a pride. They watch their prey, they plan strategies and they crouch motionless for ages until the prey comes into reach. If lions can and will do it, why wouldn't even more evolved humans if it gets them what they want? the people who say 'but no-one would go to all this effort just to...' have clearly just never had something that they deem worth all that effort.

And how much effort do they think it is for a man to put on a dress and a wig and say 'I'm a laydee'?

And apart from that, transvestites have been around forever, and it's well known that they get a thrill out of wearing women's clothing (otherwise why would they do it?) so for these men it's not just no effort, it's actually a pleasurable experience.

LoobiJee · 30/07/2023 10:12

ApocalipstickNow · 30/07/2023 09:31

Anne must be feeling very surprised that the original tweet didn’t result in grovelling apologies from the company, lots of likes and tweeters piling on slagging off the woman who said no.

Because on so much behaviour up until now that’s exactly what has happened.

Ironically, being told no and have no one care about your feelings is probably the most like a woman Anne has ever been treated.

Quite a spectacular backfire and hopefully it will embolden others to say no a bit more often.

Excellent point.

DudeItsPrawns · 30/07/2023 10:18

They want to look like women, but they don't want to behave like women, and they want to force actual women to behave, and possibly to look, like them.

The ultimate mansplaining: men explaining to women how to women better, like they do, because men are always better than women at everything, even at being a woman.

Teentaxidriver · 30/07/2023 10:22

Make socialisation and male entitlement writ large.

Teentaxidriver · 30/07/2023 10:23

Male not make

HarrietJet · 30/07/2023 10:24

Teentaxidriver · 30/07/2023 10:22

Make socialisation and male entitlement writ large.

Well, sixty years of it is going to leave it's mark!

Fififafa · 30/07/2023 10:29

DudeItsPrawns · 30/07/2023 10:18

They want to look like women, but they don't want to behave like women, and they want to force actual women to behave, and possibly to look, like them.

The ultimate mansplaining: men explaining to women how to women better, like they do, because men are always better than women at everything, even at being a woman.

Exactly! They want to behave in a specific way that fits their own version of woman and don’t like it when we just are ourselves!
They just can’t compute that we don’t all go round asking other women whether they want to borrow a tampon, etc. and resort to threats and violence when challenged.

NicCageisnotNickCave · 30/07/2023 10:33

Forwarder · 30/07/2023 09:58

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain in terms of protection for the likes of Anne, most people don't have a clue how to deal with it. And if there's a covert cross dresser on the committee, urging BeKind, the embarrassed people will defer to someone who seems to have an answer.

Great sleuthing by @NicCageisnotNickCave. Do you work for Reduxx?

If Mrs Combes and the young Combes are reading then you have my utmost sympathy. Sounds like they tried to do the right thing and have been steamrolled for their kindness.

Ha! No, but I do admire their work!

Anne is (and this may be the first and last time I resort to this generational insult) very ‘Boomerish’ when it comes to internet use, using the same handle across multiple platforms, a handle that includes a legal surname.

Just a simple search for ‘Coombes swimming Reading transgender’ leads to an old, largely abandoned blog, which has an ‘email me’ button with an email address that is the name of a dissolved company.

The director of the dissolved company is Anne, listed via Anne’s male name, and the old twitter handle is that male name (and it’s easy to cross reference Anne’s twitter with the older name twitter as both accounts support the same not-very-popular football team. I imagine it’s unusual for people who live in Berkshire to support Leicester City)

MagpiePi · 30/07/2023 10:39

I swim regularly at Ponds Fords and use the competition pool changing rooms.

They do get used as an access to the competition pool by lifeguards, coaches and other staff, and girls going to the diving pool. Staff also use the toilets, and as they are at the far end nearest the pool, they have to walk through the main part of the changing rooms. There are toilets in the gym changing room and the leisure pool changing rooms but I dont know if staff use them too. The only non-changing room toilets I know of are on the next floor up.

There are about 5 cubicles in the changing room, but during a competition I imagine there could be around 50 or more women/girls in there, so its not like everyone who wants a cubicle is going to get one.

Whenever I have been there it has only ever been women and girls passing through, but even so, I do feel more self concious if there are groups of what can be very young girls (age 6+) going by.

As a PP has said, the pool can be accessed directly from a public corridor, which is a shorter route than going through the changing rooms. I don't know why this route isn't used.

forgotmyusername1 · 30/07/2023 10:44

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 30/07/2023 09:55

At what point is this a crime

Something doesn't have to be a crime for it to be inappropriate and unnecessary.

If Anne was still identifying as Paul would it be a crime?

ScrollingLeaves · 30/07/2023 10:44

NicCageisnotNickCave · Today 10:35
https://www.blogger.com/profile/09143484729379464693

Complete with non-wigged picture

Gosh. That brings one down to earth completely. That’s who’s going ‘volunteering’ back and forth through the girls’ open changing room at the pool.

Blogger: User Profile: Paul Coombes

Blogger is a blog publishing tool from Google for easily sharing your thoughts with the world. Blogger makes it simple to post text, photos and video onto your personal or team blog.

https://www.blogger.com/profile/09143484729379464693

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 30/07/2023 10:48

forgotmyusername1 · 30/07/2023 10:44

If Anne was still identifying as Paul would it be a crime?

Why the fixation on whether or not it's a crime? is this the 'well nothing actually illegal's happened so it's perfectly OK?' line of argument?

NicCageisnotNickCave · 30/07/2023 10:51

ScrollingLeaves · 30/07/2023 10:44

NicCageisnotNickCave · Today 10:35
https://www.blogger.com/profile/09143484729379464693

Complete with non-wigged picture

Gosh. That brings one down to earth completely. That’s who’s going ‘volunteering’ back and forth through the girls’ open changing room at the pool.

Yes.

I made a little collage.

Makes it rather clear why ‘Myra’ found Coombe’s intrusion on the female change area so unpalatable.

Can’t imagine it’s possible to swim competitively in a wig?

(all of this is easily accessed online, as I have explained in a post above. I’m sure some of MN’s haters will spin my simple Google search as ‘doxing’ but there is no private information being shared, so clearly that would be a daft and/or disingenuous accusation)

Pool rules changed after outcry over trans official in change room
forgotmyusername1 · 30/07/2023 10:54

The person I was quoting seemed to be suggesting that as Anne identifies as a woman then there is no crime so what is everyone getting upset about- that was at least how I interpreted it

Anne is in reality Paul, the person in this picture. Does the fact that Paul wears a wig and a skirt mean it is ok for them to walk through a changing room where teenage girls are in various stages of undress? Illegal or not it is wrong.

Pool rules changed after outcry over trans official in change room
LoobiJee · 30/07/2023 10:59

NicCageisnotNickCave · 30/07/2023 10:35

https://www.blogger.com/profile/09143484729379464693

Complete with non-wigged picture.

Coombes works in IT. What a surprise.

BettyFilous · 30/07/2023 11:01

If there are any complaints about the last few posts, I hope MNHQ delete any offending posts and allow the thread to stand. It’s a justified discussion about a safeguarding lapse and double standards depending on how a male chooses to present. I am sure the individual in question would love to have information they’ve spaffed all over the internet scrubbed now MNers have joined the dots but, like the Isla Bryson case, these examples are highly instructive about how self-ID and not applying consistent standards destroys safeguarding frameworks.

borntobequiet · 30/07/2023 11:02

He looks far better as a bloke, someone should tell him.

LoobiJee · 30/07/2023 11:02

Post without the quote-post.

Coombes works in IT. What a surprise.

StefanosHill · 30/07/2023 11:02

I think those posts will go but I hope the thread stays too

Soontobe60 · 30/07/2023 11:07

Surely the title of this post should be “Pool rules changed after outcry over male in female changing room”.
Language is important, and it has been distorted so much that some people actually think that a trans person has really changed their sex!

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