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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Caba Baba Rave - take your baby to watch nearly naked men in fetish gear

1000 replies

Clymene · 02/03/2023 09:18

Journalist Dominique Samuels has posted video of one of their events: https://twitter.com/dominiquetaegon/status/1630948003962912768?s=61&t=gd6tu0Iz6JpyKXGLWMLGjg

Which features men gyrating and hanging from the ceiling surrounded by a crowd of clueless women and their babies.

I would say it's NSFW but it's apparently safe for babies so have a watch.

Here's a reddux article:

https://reduxx.info/uk-sold-out-rave-for-babies-featuring-drag-queens-prompts-outrage/

Since the video went viral, the company has taken down its website and Facebook and made their Instagram private. I wonder why? Confused

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Seasonofthewitch83 · 07/03/2023 15:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WarriorN · 07/03/2023 15:53

Message I've seen is

This thread has been deleted

Hi all. The OP asked us to remove the thread and given the way the conversation has been going, we've agreed. MNHQ

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/03/2023 15:54

I did copy the thread and save it.

EndlessTea · 07/03/2023 15:55

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/03/2023 15:54

I did copy the thread and save it.

Ooh well done. Was it archived?

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 07/03/2023 15:55

I’m pissed off that I contributed to that in good faith and she got it pulled. Waste of my time.

Yes me too. Why do we fucking bother.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/03/2023 15:59

I just put it in my notes, @EndlessTea.

StephanieSuperpowers · 07/03/2023 16:00

I mean, I'm not sure what she expected, really. Her arguments in favour of going to this kind of thing weren't strong, even when she did try to formulate some.

HothouseFlower · 07/03/2023 16:02

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/03/2023 15:51

I thought that was a very strong thread. It’s a shame that the OP got it deleted - because it wasn’t going her way, I assume. Or she didn’t want to explain how the acts depicted in the pictures on that thread were suitable for children. Or how they enhanced the activity for the children.

It is grooming, pure and simple, and she refused to see it.

The OP labelled it a pile on 🙄

Contrary to MN, I think it probably helped a lot of people - to see that they aren't in the minority, not prudes, not uncool, not bigots for wanting child safeguarding. The relevant legislation was also quoted a couple of times on there.

ScrollingLeaves · 07/03/2023 16:08

HothouseFlower · Today 16:02
The OP labelled it a pile on 🙄
I suppose it would have felt that way I wonder if she might think twice given time.

Contrary to MN, I think it probably helped a lot of people - to see that they aren't in the minority, not prudes, not uncool, not bigots for wanting child safeguarding. The relevant legislation was also quoted a couple of times on there.

Yes, especially with all the links to very reasonable people explaining why it us not ok. Everyone needs to keep a string of those links at the ready. It is a bore trying to find them again, let alone long posts where people have tried to explain.

I think there may be a new DQS one now. No one should shut up about it.

ArabellaScott · 07/03/2023 16:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Why would she be a 'bigot'? Could you explain?

JustStopOilyPoshKids · 07/03/2023 16:15

I think it was a v helpful thread. Yknow I've been in a similar headspace to that OP. Thought there was value in queering the norms. Saw this in the spirit of counter culture rebellion. Thought I was more enlightened and progressive than other "small minded" folk. Part of a rainbow family of better humans. Sex positive, kink aware blah blah blah.

Then I realised, after a lot of self scrutiny, I had really shit boundaries. My grasp of safeguarding was weak. Really was at the level of well no one is alone with my child and able to touch them.. thus no problem.

Oh and I was an over empathic, trusting dolt too. As long as I could see the good in everyone the world was good

MummBRaaarrrTheEverLeaking · 07/03/2023 16:15

I'd put a reply on that, only to see the thread had been pulled once I'd pressed post!!

Thought she'd educate us silly wimmins perhaps with her "I'm not a cool mummy guys, I went with my NCT mums" spiel.

But when her opening arguments came down to you can watch 18 films at the cinema with your baby you know (not at my cinema you couldn't!) and the walking dead, so what's the big deal (bypassing the whole grown men parading around with their arses out in your face, and your babies face issue), well, it was only going to end in a flounce wasn't it.

EndlessTea · 07/03/2023 16:24

Perhaps the OP was starting to have some illuminating thinky-thoughts poking through the thick clouds of #bekind - and could no longer defend that position.

HothouseFlower · 07/03/2023 16:26

@JustStopOilyPoshKids Something you said early on in this thread really stuck with me:
Basically it is people with a piss poor grasp of boundaries themselves believing they are super chill, open minded and progressive.

CryptoFascistMadameCholet · 07/03/2023 16:30

Just posted this on the AIBU thread and needed to share it with my wimms too because I’m genuinely aghast…

I JUST REALISED THIS OUTFIT IS A PORNO VERSION OF ELSA FROM FROZEN.

😬😬😬😬🤮🤮🤮🤮

(photo is from the Xmas event at Big Penny Social in Walthamstow)

ScrollingLeaves · 07/03/2023 16:31

JustStopOilyPoshKids · Today 16:15
Very good points. That is why it is important to keep on and on explaining.

Blurring boundaries and translating and transposing can be great in art: say Picasso’s bicycle handles turned backwards become a bull’s horns.

But it doesn’t mean bulls and bicycles are on a spectrum to become each other.

Sexed bodies are fundamental to life. Chikdren’s minds are delicate, and impressionable. Think of baby ducks getting ‘imprinted’ with the idea that a human’s wellingtons are its mummy.

Helen Joyce said children have a very simple idea of sex: eg a child would say a doll with a handbag is a woman. Then, if you give the handbag to a man doll, the child thinks it is a woman. In addition she says, they have ‘magical’ thinking, and it’s very easy to make a child think a man can change into a woman.

(Another poster Vebrithien is a science teacher in a secondary school and she is getting more and more children who think you really can change sex.)

Then with DQ sex acts, plus holding the babies, you are imprinting that into their minds as a blue print of normality - especially with mummy smiling. Groom groom groom.

JustStopOilyPoshKids · 07/03/2023 16:32

HothouseFlower · 07/03/2023 16:26

@JustStopOilyPoshKids Something you said early on in this thread really stuck with me:
Basically it is people with a piss poor grasp of boundaries themselves believing they are super chill, open minded and progressive.

It is isn't it? A complete dearth of critical thinking. Its "I am here and I'm a nice, fun person. Here with other nice, fun people... ergo everyone here is nice. Its a safe space! An oasis of sparkly cool in a harsh, unfriendly world"

It really is the same level of awareness/ insight as dropping yr first pill at a rave donkeys ago and thinking everyone was beautiful and lovely!

EndlessTea · 07/03/2023 16:33

CryptoFascistMadameCholet · 07/03/2023 16:30

Just posted this on the AIBU thread and needed to share it with my wimms too because I’m genuinely aghast…

I JUST REALISED THIS OUTFIT IS A PORNO VERSION OF ELSA FROM FROZEN.

😬😬😬😬🤮🤮🤮🤮

(photo is from the Xmas event at Big Penny Social in Walthamstow)

Oh my goodness. How vile

ScrollingLeaves · 07/03/2023 16:35

CryptoFascistMadameCholet · Today 16:30
Just posted this on the AIBU thread and needed to share it with my wimms too because I’m genuinely aghast…

I JUST REALISED THIS OUTFIT IS A PORNO VERSION OF ELSA FROM FROZEN.

😬😬😬😬🤮🤮🤮🤮

(photo is from the Xmas event at Big Penny Social in Walthamstow)

That is very nasty.
Instead of telling people who object to this that they are aligned with far-right fascists, maybe they should look to see how they are aligned with children.

EndlessTea · 07/03/2023 16:37

JustStopOilyPoshKids · 07/03/2023 16:32

It is isn't it? A complete dearth of critical thinking. Its "I am here and I'm a nice, fun person. Here with other nice, fun people... ergo everyone here is nice. Its a safe space! An oasis of sparkly cool in a harsh, unfriendly world"

It really is the same level of awareness/ insight as dropping yr first pill at a rave donkeys ago and thinking everyone was beautiful and lovely!

Yes.

It makes me think of how my belief that everyone is fundamentally good is seriously challenged as a parent, where no one is above suspicion.

It is really nice to believe in goodness and see value in everyone but it is a total buzz kill to recognise it is when you are having your ‘highs’ that you are also most vulnerable to being taken advantage of. Having your guard up is a downer.

JustStopOilyPoshKids · 07/03/2023 16:52

Exactly @EndlessTea
Agree @ScrollingLeaves it is grooming. A gradual lowering of thresholds/ tolerances. You are compassionate and want to be inclusive and kind. But you start slapping on this plaster, short circuiting any critical thinking and you end up trying to pretend yr not squicked out by sexy Elsa costumes and "littles" etc. Tbh it doesn't surprise me that all this shit overlaps

SinnerBoy · 07/03/2023 16:58

whereaw · Today 15:52

Very ironic that the comment from Mumsnet before deleting was that the thread "wasn't helping anyone" ...

The OP apparently said that it was a pile on. I suppose that everyone disagreeing with her and telling her that she was a bit daft wasn't helpful to her, in that nobody gushed and told her how it was a great idea for her to take a baby to the event.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 07/03/2023 17:13

I seen it and posted here as I was working, I didnt see how it went and didnt get to post but sounds like it stayed in active for a while before it was deleted which is a good thing I guess. Shame it was deleted though, in the good old MN days they wouldnt just delete because someone was getting 'piled on' especially if everyone commenting had a good point.

DysonSpheres · 07/03/2023 17:21

Yes, back in the old days of Mumsnet (sighs wistfully) you couldn't get a thread removed purely because you didn't like the way it went. But then the calibre of posters and times were different.

Nocutenamesleft · 07/03/2023 18:39

Deadringer · 02/03/2023 09:31

Why would parents and babies need to see that shit? Grown men wearing almost nothing gyrating around, yuck. And i know its beside the point, but the performers are beyond crap, my friend's dd does that silk rope stuff and she is so graceful and elegant doing it, that guy is just rubbish. A headstand in a thong? Hardly groundbreaking stuff. Just awful.

We do aerial studies

he apparently does aerial rope and is an aerial performer. He wasn’t using an aerial rope in the video weirdly. He was using straps which are insanely difficult. He wasn’t doing well but as said. They are one of the most difficult aerial things to do.

not saying he should be doing any of that in front of babies. Just explaining why it might of looked bad. It also doesn’t look like it’s at a huge height which would make it worse visually

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