Caba Baba Rave - take your baby to watch nearly naked men in fetish gear

[Clymene]

Journalist Dominique Samuels has posted video of one of their events: https://twitter.com/dominiquetaegon/status/1630948003962912768?s=61&t=gd6tu0Iz6JpyKXGLWMLGjg

Which features men gyrating and hanging from the ceiling surrounded by a crowd of clueless women and their babies.

I would say it's NSFW but it's apparently safe for babies so have a watch.

Here's a reddux article:

https://reduxx.info/uk-sold-out-rave-for-babies-featuring-drag-queens-prompts-outrage/

Since the video went viral, the company has taken down its website and Facebook and made their Instagram private. I wonder why?

I cannot believe those two mothers think that you need to watch something with a baby in one hand and a pint in the other

snd came to watching that! I mean what?!??

Those two mothers are strippers and needed to keep earning a living after having kids. Their novel idea was to expand the user base of the sex industry to include mothers and babies so they could carry on making money.

All the justification about ‘pint in hand’ and ‘wheels on the bus’ is bollocks in my opinion. It’s about stripping for a living.

Those two mothers are strippers

oh are they?

did not know that

The OP labelled it a pile on 🙄

i think the term pile on is quite often bollocks

but surely, logically an AMA is literally a pile on 😳

One of the justifications on that AMA thread was that drag, burlesque, etc., were artistic and that's what was being done at this event - well if dry humping the floor, flashing your arse crack, doing handstands in a thong are what passes as artistic these days then that is an incredibly low bar.

I read most of the thread, and this is exactly what I thought the OP's mindset was.

She sounded really naive. Apparently having studied queer theory, albeit briefly, still called it a conspiracy theory, and was relating it exclusively to a term for gay people, and therefore perceiving homophobia.

She was muddled, and her arguments were incoherent. Something that was becoming increasingly more obvious as the thread went on.

But the reason for that was all the other posters pointing out what grooming actually means and how it works. The drip, drip, drip of desensitisation.

I absolutely think she will reflect. She didn't sound stupid, or uncaring. Just unaware.

It was an incredibly helpful thread. With many women explaining exactly how these things work. There would've been light bulb moments popping off all over the place for a huge number of people.

And what was particularly effective were the comparisons drawn between stripping off and being sexually suggestive in a sex show, and stripping off and being sexually suggestive in this show - and the only difference was it being labelled burlesque and drag.

Frankly, the entire thread was a master class in watching a groomed woman demonstrate exactly how effective the grooming had been.

And it was obvious.

It's threads like that one that I would love to rifle through mumsnet computers to look at the data. How many people just read and don't post. Is the message just getting through to one of two people or many?

The other thing that I think adds to women like that not getting it is that she did not find it titillating.

If you're not seeing the sexualised part, you will be replacing it with something else in your head.

That's why it was really useful to keep describing what was happening, stripping off, nipple tassels, etc and and asking who were they doing that for, in that case.

What was the point?

I think she may have pulled it because of saying she'd go again! As she posted that I thought, if this outfit get investigated and things are laid bare, she has just pronounced that she found it absolutely no problem and that she'd take her little one to see them again. This would look VERY bad!

I missed the thread, i just hope arse and very big plate met!

Yes, I think this is often an issue. If someone doesn't themselves find something arousing, it can be hard to grasp that others might.

I still find myself just utterly baffled by some things that some people do. When they're explained to me I feel like an idiot for not twigging earlier.

he apparently does aerial rope and is an aerial performer. He wasn’t using an aerial rope in the video weirdly. He was using straps which are insanely difficult

Judging by his climb (if that was him on the rope), not that good on the rope and definitely not on the straps. Upside for him was that people paid to see him practise rather than him needing to hire space in a studio. No decent body lines at all from the snippets I saw.

Bang on @Datun What also struck me was how she'd gone along with it.. was a baby/mum activity advertised on social media, arranged for a group of new mum friends from NCT.. this all legitimises it. She said she hadn't even been to a drag show before and wasn't a fan. Therefore it was hardly a case of her imposing/prioritising her sense of fun. It was just something she went along with.

I think she was also trying to explain that we (looking at pics/ videos of event) couldn't grasp the feel/ friendliness of the event. I completely believe it was v friendly and welcoming. As you say, drip drip drip.

I think the whole sexual kicks issue of watching a show like that gets pushed to the side because 'enlightened folk' equate that with oggling/ objectification. Dirty old man stuff. Obviously that is not what they are doing- how she relates to the show- so the whole thing is just a bit of fun. Fun= harmless.

I honestly believe the majority of attendees and performers there gave it no more thought than that. I'd say money would be the main motivation for the acts. Its a gig that doesn't clash with other gigs. Yes there will be people that ally with the boundary pushing and see that as a good thing. Again, this could be down to naivity, guilessness or neferarious intent. I'd wager more likely the first two rather than a conscious, sinister drive to facilitate child abuse but bottom line is how can you tell and ultimately what is the line between useful idiots, enablers and abusers?

It clearly is v shocking to have this pointed out when you are in a rose tinted bubble. Mentions of grooming, child abuse, ill intent provoke visceral, defensive reactions. Her intentions were to have a nice, happy afternoon and a laugh with mates so it is anathema to suggest it was owt other than that.

I do hope the penny drops

Exactly. All the friendliness, the fun, none of it felt threatening.

That's why it was so useful to point out that grooming is just pushing boundaries. It's not something you can see happening, it's not overt. And yes, it feels fine, otherwise it wouldn't bloody work.

I mean, for the love of God, these men actually had 'boundary smashers' written in their bloody profiles.

I guarantee there will be a whole bunch of newly enlightened women walking away from that thread.

TBH one person is just one person - what I find worrying is how there has been an erosion of boundaries generally in society, to the point that people sincerely don't see a problem with babies being taken to a strip show or being exposed to fetish and bondage gear-clad performers gyrating and twerking.

Couple of posters were correct in that there is wide acceptance of this type of event. It has been rationalised, normalised, and explained as 'a bit of fun', or worse, positioned as something to do with LGB people, so that any opposition is then immediately painted as homophobia, even if it comes from gay or lesbian people.

I would call it societal grooming. Individually it may well be innocent, or 'a bit of fun' or 'a bit naughty/spicy', whatever. But add that to kids watching drag on TV, widespread porn on smart phones, 'queer' theory and gender ideology being taught in schools, 'rainbow' books being displayed in libraries, mixed sex/gender neutral changing spaces and toilets, and a general veto on anyone complaining about males in women's spaces, and you can easily see how this creates a delightful situation for predators and abusers, with plenty of opportunity to access vulnerable people. Just hiding behind rainbows, glitter, and 'inclusivity'.

I mean, for the love of God, these men actually had 'boundary smashers' written in their bloody profiles.

Yes, I wanted to try and find those pictures again. They were very instructive.

That could be right, but I think she'd have been more aggressive if she'd been a plant.

And there clearly are women who agree with it, because otherwise there wouldn't be an audience.

Look at drag queen story time, a smash hit in libraries everywhere.

@ArabellaScott
Absolutely spot on. This is about pushing boundaries at a societal level and seeing what will be tolerated becoming gradually more extreme.

I missed the AMA thread altogether and checked to see if it had been archived. Weirdly, someone tried to archive it AFTER it had been deleted. Or maybe they set off the Archiving before it was deleted and it just took too long to catch it?

archive.is/www.mumsnet.com/talk/AMA/4757942-i-took-my-child-to-a-caba-baba-rave-ama

If it was really useful, I wonder if Mumsnet would consider reinstating it but with the OP's User Name changed to "Anonymous"?

She wasnt answering certain people, like me, because she couldn't defend her actions when presented with the actual law on child sex abuse. And the more people pointed out what she was doing to the detriment of her child the more she started going in circles.

It's hard to defend the indefensible. Especially when she seemed to think she had the moral high ground.it must have been rather a shock to discover what she thought was OK really really isn't once outside of her usual ec ho chamber of like minded friends.

I agree with Datun that she was in earnest because I know women just like her irl.

Generally this slow lowering of boundaries is happening everywhere. We recently watched a movie with our teen DDs Everything Everywhere All the Time and overall it was wonderfully acted w/ strong older women leads...

HOWEVER

it had scenes with giant swinging dildos and men landing their naked asses on buttplugs.

DH and I had to turn it off for DD13's sake, and older DD 18 said privately to us, "she probably knows what those are." DH 50ish said, "I'd never heard of a buttplug until maybe 10 years ago." Neither had I. Call me a prude all you want...despite my having many sex partners before meeting DH at 32.

Enough boundaries have been eroded where teen girls are aware of what used to be rare sex toys for adult men. No offense to any consenting adult using those sex toys but do we really need them in mainstream Hollywood movies watched by teenagers?!?

Once a thread I started on AIBU which mumsnet deleted, or possibly moved to FWR, was reinstated after another poster said it was important for everyone to know about the subject.