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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

doxxed - and a bit freaked out

223 replies

LoafEater · 19/12/2018 17:41

So ... yesterday I posted a (what I thought was) a pretty innocuous, mild comment on an article about a news report. The subject is discussed here on another thread.

This morning my boss calls me into her office and shows me an email from a weird looking gmail address with a screenshot of my fb page.
The email was complaining about my transphobic attitude, and how the trans students at the school work in and take care off cannot be safe around me.

Thankfully my boss was as cross about this as I was, but she obviously has to follow protocol and asked me to take my place of work of FB and to delete my post of possible. She replied to the sender with a generic "thanks very much, we will look into it" reply.

We had a long chat around the subject which ended with her suggesting we had a chat with our safeguarding lead in the NY about this when I told her about and she has asked me to get a copy of the transgender trend schools pack. So its all good and I'm not in any bother as I have a sensible boss, but it could have been very different.

I know this has been happening to lots of women, but I have barely put my head over the parapet and this happens. I feel a bit shaken.

OP posts:

KindOfAGeek · 19/12/2018 22:15

Nitasha Tiku is a journalist. A bona fide journalist, not a troll.

And that makes me suspect the incident is not nearly as apt as you want it to be...

ScottCheggJnr · 19/12/2018 22:15

It's ridiculous that somebody should lose the ability to provide for their family because they joked on their personal social media "if a woman tried to beat me up I'd tell her to get back in the kitchen."

It may have been a sexist joke but it wasn't any more than that and certainly no worse than 'small manhood' jokes made by women.

ScottCheggJnr · 19/12/2018 22:19

Feminists and SJWs definitely started this 'petitioning people's employers' game.

KindOfAGeek · 19/12/2018 22:21

If Nitasha Tiku wrote a story in Wired about all the small penised dudes out there, you might have a point. She didn't.

As I said, good luck with that false equivalency.

FloralBunting · 19/12/2018 22:21

I am always delighted when Chegg sees a woman post a thread about an attempt to shut her up and feels it is incumbent upon him to turn it into a feminist bashing thread.

Especially later in the evening. There's something about a dull bloke droning on that really helps me settle down for a decent night.

Chegg. Better than Horlicks.

Melanippe · 19/12/2018 22:22

Hey OP, sorry this has happened, it must feel terrifying.

You've had great advice about tightening up your social media security and using a throw away email account in order to comment on things. Try not to worry too much about it, your boss's response may be followed up, so they may need to fudge things, because in my experience, these people don't let go until they believe they've 'won'.

KindOfAGeek · 19/12/2018 22:23

Excuse me, I guess I didn't post "good luck with that false equivalency" the first time.

I just thought it really hard.

Mrwall · 19/12/2018 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Pythagonal · 19/12/2018 22:28

*It's ridiculous that somebody should lose the ability to provide for their family because they joked on their personal social media "if a woman tried to beat me up I'd tell her to get back in the kitchen."

Most of the companies I've worked for have had, as part of their employment contract, that an employee agrees not to bring the employer into disrepute by anything they say on social media, personal or otherwise. That sort of sexist comment really does show an employer in a bad light.

ScottCheggJnr · 19/12/2018 22:30

There are loads of examples of feminists reporting people to their employers.

But I do empathise with the OP and didn't mean to derail her thread (I just didn't expect the FWR home guard to doth protest so much).

KindOfAGeek · 19/12/2018 22:34

not have their addresses put online or be sacked for them

No one put his address online. He won a Nobel. People knew who he is.

The job he "lost" was an honorary, unpaid position that he resigned from because someone publicized a remark he made which reflected badly on his profession.

That's what happens to public figures when they make a mistake that screws up the employer's image. They bite the bullet and resign.

That's what happened before the Internet, and will continue to happen now we have the Internet.

KataraJean · 19/12/2018 22:34

Quite Floral I was thinking the same thing. Although I am still waiting on a response to my suggestion that his examples of ‘extreme feminism’ did not stand up to scrutiny and (valid) concerns about men suggested that patriarchy harmed men too, so I am not engaging here. It is most wearying.

ScottCheggJnr · 19/12/2018 22:35

We as a society have to decide if we are willing to tolerate offensive speech or not. And if we go down the road of not we shouldn’t be too surprised if we find out that our ideas are also eventually deemed unacceptable (as the so called TERFs are now finding out).

Exactly.

I've actually seen some of the posters on here bemoaning 'perpetually offended SJWs' recently, but not long ago that was the stereotype for the outraged blue haired feminist (obv not representative of all feminists).

Awks · 19/12/2018 22:35

Aw bless you @ScottCheggJnr you little cutie. I love it when you come on here and make me smile.

ScottCheggJnr · 19/12/2018 22:40

Well, sometimes a bit of mansploring is necessary to get the full picture on here...

MagnificentSevenHeaven · 19/12/2018 22:44

I'm afraid there is no mention of my work on my social media. I have no work colleagues on my social media.

FB has my real name, I tend not to be too controversial on there.

Twitter is an alias, with it's own email address not linked to anything else of mine.

There's no way I'd want some earnest and woke HR wally taking me to task over comments made in my own time.

BettyDuMonde · 19/12/2018 22:52

Is it just me who (skim) reads ScottCheggJr and immediately thinks of Keith Chegwin? It happens every single time!

Then my brain does a weird word association thing and ends up with a mental picture of Keith Harris and Orville the Duck.

I wish I could fly, right up to the sky, but I can’t

abbsisspartacus · 19/12/2018 23:02

I don't make small manhood jokes if I say you have a tiny one it's because I've seen it personally

I'm glad I work for myself complain to my boss all you like

BlueJay1 · 19/12/2018 23:08

Are you not allowed to have an opinion!!

I thought everyone was allowed to voice their feelings and concerns!? As long as you were not inciting haterid, obviously.

Glad your boss was supportive to you.

I was complained about today for signing off a client email 'merry Christmas to you and yours' rather than the permitted 'regards for the festive season'. Mustn't mention the C word whatever we do. Heaven forbid.

welshgendercrit · 19/12/2018 23:58

Remember that if you try to have someone silenced and sacked because they have offended you, then you can’t be surprised if someone else is trying to do the same to you in five or ten years time when the social rules change.

Nobody did that to Tim Hunt, Mrwall He resigned from his honorary position because he knew he'd made a fool of himself by slighting female colleagues like that.

Pythagonal · 20/12/2018 01:08

There are loads of examples of feminists reporting people to their employers.

But I do empathise with the OP and didn't mean to derail her thread (I just didn't expect the FWR home guard to doth protest so much).

ODFOD.

Pythagonal · 20/12/2018 01:10

Not just you, Betty. 😉

AssassinatedBeauty · 20/12/2018 01:16

"But I do empathise with the OP and didn't mean to derail her thread (I just didn't expect the FWR home guard to "- no you don't. You just know that you're supposed to pretend that you do. And of course you meant to derail, it's silly to make such an obviously untrue statement.

Yeahnahyeah · 20/12/2018 01:19

What's ODFOD please?

BettyDuMonde · 20/12/2018 01:22

‘Oh Do Fuck Off Dear’

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