Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

doxxed - and a bit freaked out

223 replies

LoafEater · 19/12/2018 17:41

So ... yesterday I posted a (what I thought was) a pretty innocuous, mild comment on an article about a news report. The subject is discussed here on another thread.

This morning my boss calls me into her office and shows me an email from a weird looking gmail address with a screenshot of my fb page.
The email was complaining about my transphobic attitude, and how the trans students at the school work in and take care off cannot be safe around me.

Thankfully my boss was as cross about this as I was, but she obviously has to follow protocol and asked me to take my place of work of FB and to delete my post of possible. She replied to the sender with a generic "thanks very much, we will look into it" reply.

We had a long chat around the subject which ended with her suggesting we had a chat with our safeguarding lead in the NY about this when I told her about and she has asked me to get a copy of the transgender trend schools pack. So its all good and I'm not in any bother as I have a sensible boss, but it could have been very different.

I know this has been happening to lots of women, but I have barely put my head over the parapet and this happens. I feel a bit shaken.

OP posts:
ScottCheggJnr · 20/12/2018 04:55

There are shitloads of examples on YouTube of feminists protesting against 'hate speech' (keep hate speech off campus).

This is a direct precursor to the whole literal violence thing.

Mrwall · 20/12/2018 07:55

@welshgendergit “Nobody did that to Tim Hunt, Mrwall He resigned from his honorary position because he knew he'd made a fool of himself by slighting female colleagues like that.”

Did he really though? Or did he know that the feminist mob would never allow him to stay in his position and would continue to harass him and his employer until he resigned?

Mrwall · 20/12/2018 08:07

@ScottCheggJnr: “There are shitloads of examples on YouTube of feminists protesting against 'hate speech' (keep hate speech off campus).

This is a direct precursor to the whole literal violence thing.”

Totally agree. However it seems some posters here are inclined to disregard anything you say because you’re a man. Sexism if I ever saw it... But yes, if the idea that some words and ideas are to dangerous, even for the ears of intelligent educated adults in a university setting to hear, then that must directly lead to the idea some words are to dangerous to be allowed, leading to some words are literal violence. Some in this case becoming to mean anything the don’t like. I can see exactly how accepting the first idea would eventually lead to accepting the last.

MagnificentSevenHeaven · 20/12/2018 08:08

Are you not allowed to have an opinion!!

You can have an opinion.

It's when it's linkable to your workplace that it becomes a problem - it may not be their opinion and they may not wish to be associated with your views.

Most companies have rules about Social Media now.

Work & Play should never mix.

BitOfFun · 20/12/2018 08:14

Like "the feminist mob" a) exist; or b) have an iota of influence.

Look at what's happening on n Twitter: women are being suspended and even erroneously PROSECUTED, while men threatening rape and violence go scot-free.

CowJumping · 20/12/2018 08:17

I had a similar doxxing experience. The investigation went on over about 3 months but it’s taken me most of a year to recover. People here were very helpful both on line and via anonymous secret groups sending me support.

I was very shaken at the time and wanted to do whatever I could to make it go away - they wanted me sacked.

But now when I think about it, I get so angry. Ironically I am far more inclined to be less tolerant in discussions of trans issues.

And most women I speak to are just bewildered and worried by the rapid rise of trans “rights” trumping women’s rights.

Racecardriver · 20/12/2018 08:17

The thing that is really shocking is the undercurrent. If the TRAs bother with this then it must work some of the time.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 20/12/2018 08:18

However it seems some posters here are inclined to disregard anything you say because you’re a man. Sexism if I ever saw it...

Another take would be that the women here, in FWR, are just telling a male poster that they disagree with his interpretation of some events.

And lo! Another male identifying poster is here to support him against the nasty wimmins saying no to a man.

The difference between women reporting real life examples of sexism in the workplace and trolls doxxing anonymised postings that they disagree with should be obvious to anyone with a working brain cell!

That women feel the need to be anonymous when posting about any topic should give you pause....

AngryAttackKittens · 20/12/2018 08:31

Especially later in the evening. There's something about a dull bloke droning on that really helps me settle down for a decent night.

Chegg. Better than Horlicks.

MRSleeping pills.

Glad you have a sensible boss, OP. If someone told me one of my employees had had the temerity to express a political opinion in a "do something about this!" tone I'd probably print it out so the team could have a laugh about it in the next meeting.

FloralBunting · 20/12/2018 08:32

I am playing a teeny, tiny violin for the men who come to FWR and experience the sexism of men not being treated with the deference they've come to expect.

It must be really hard for them.

AngryAttackKittens · 20/12/2018 08:35

So, so hard. They'll need to curl up with some ice cream and a plushie to comfort themselves afterwards.

"She...she didn't seem to respect me at all. I tried everything I could think of to get her to show some appropriate deference and all I got was a raised eyebrow and a smirk. This is why we should never have given women the vote!"

MadamBatty · 20/12/2018 08:42

I am an angry feminist mob, hear me roar! Off now to do a 3 hour gym class in my women’s only gym.

Come the revolution sisters, I & the other members will be ready for mobbing😅

AngryAttackKittens · 20/12/2018 08:56

Can I be a mob all by myself? Only that sounds like a lot of work and I haven't had any coffee yet.

MadamBatty · 20/12/2018 09:00

AAK I’ll mob for you until you have at least 1 coffees.

AngryAttackKittens · 20/12/2018 09:07

Team spirit!

BernardBlacksWineIcelolly · 20/12/2018 09:23

job share mobbing

cooperation sisters, that's what happens when the women are in charge

I'm not smart enough to write witty placards but I have a great line in handing round biscuits

Avegemitesandwich · 20/12/2018 09:55

Lawyer Alexander Carter-Silkwas publically shamed by fellow lawyer Charlotte Proudman for commenting in a message that she 'looked stunning' in her LinkedIn photo - a clumsy but well meaning compliment.

Have you really used this one an example? A pervy bloke uses LinkedIn to make totally unnecessary comments to a female fellow lawyer, and she publically calls him out on it. Bloody rightly so.

ChewyLouie · 20/12/2018 10:11

A baying feminist mob! The stunning and brave misogynists stood firm in the face of this onslaught of, of .........words. The most stunning and brave of them all had a cunning (and brave) plan, they strode manfully to their laptops and logged onto feminist boards ........to write crap.
The baying mob took no notice they were too busy with all the other crap being thrown at women.

Mrwall · 20/12/2018 10:47

Great article about this sort of stuff here: quillette.com/2018/07/14/i-was-the-mob-until-the-mob-came-for-me/

And yes some feminists have taken part in mobs too, calling for sackings, deplatformings and responding to the smallest offences with career ruining public shamings.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 20/12/2018 11:15

What is that link supposed to show?

An anonymous Woke Bro regretting his keyboard warrior days...

... oh! You said feminists - was he a feminist?

OK!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 20/12/2018 11:24

Lemme see... Dawkins deplatformed over a retweet of a cartoon stating feminists love islamists causing the woman in the video to be harrassed. Oh, and responding to a woman blogging about being propositioned in a lift: Stop whining will you. Yes, yes, I know you had your genitals mutilated with a razor blade, and...yawn...don't tell me again, I know you aren't allowed to drive a car, and can't leave the house without a male relative, and your husband is allowed to beat you, and you'll be stoned to death if you commit adultery," he wrote. "But stop whining, will you. Think of the suffering your poor American sisters have to put up with."

Yeah! He got deplatformed once because it mattered to the hosts! He courts controversy and isn't hounded for it.

Compare and contrast with germane Greer, for example.

Melanippe · 20/12/2018 11:30

It's ok fellas, you don't need to worry about those poor men having a mirror held up to their behaviour, the women involved got threatened, lost jobs and contracts and were sometimes violently attacked for daring to speak out, it certainly puts a crimp in them being able to do so ever again. Must be really shit that you guys can't do that here, eh? Poor lambs.

GrumpyGran8 · 20/12/2018 11:46

I suspect that the left are too immature to understand that every tactic they advocate using against their political opponents could in time be used against them.
Remember the "Punch A Nazi" thing that was going around social media three or four years ago? There were people warning about the dangers of encouraging violence against political opponents then; they got ignored. Now we have the whole "Punch A Terf" horror, and abuse and threats of violence against women who just just express different political views. Not to mention actual murdering violence against a woman MP.
Pandora's box has certainly been thrown open!

Mrwall · 20/12/2018 12:43

Thank you GrumpyGran8

If you advocate “punching fascists” “or punching misogynists” what you are really advocating for is a society where punching one and other is part of the political discourse, because fascists and misogynists can punch people too. Same goes with doxxing, deplatforming, trying to get someone fired or mass shaming on social media. If you bring those things into the world then they are in the world and can be used by almost anyone against almost anyone.

The sensible thing to do would be to all agree none of those things are ever acceptable and advocate challenging ideas with other ideas and the proponents of ideas with rational, respectful debate.

Feminism seems as much responsible for the opening of this box as any other group. I am advocating for closing this box but every group I say this too seems to respond with “but it’s OK when we do it” or at least “some of those things are OK, when we do it” hence the Guardian article, hence the responses to ScottCheggJnr.

The irony however seems to be that the young middle class SJW leftist types don’t seem to understand that a society that settled political debate with personal attacks as they seem to advocate would end up in a terrible state given that the most violent and tough groups would ultimately win and that’s far more likely to be football hooligans and fascist thug types than it is them.

KittiesInsane · 20/12/2018 13:17

some posters here are inclined to disregard anything you say because you’re a man

I think you've misinterpreted.

Posters here are inclined to disregard anything you say about women's experiences because you’re a man.