doxxed - and a bit freaked out

[LoafEater]

So ... yesterday I posted a (what I thought was) a pretty innocuous, mild comment on an article about a news report. The subject is discussed here on another thread.

This morning my boss calls me into her office and shows me an email from a weird looking gmail address with a screenshot of my fb page.
The email was complaining about my transphobic attitude, and how the trans students at the school work in and take care off cannot be safe around me.

Thankfully my boss was as cross about this as I was, but she obviously has to follow protocol and asked me to take my place of work of FB and to delete my post of possible. She replied to the sender with a generic "thanks very much, we will look into it" reply.

We had a long chat around the subject which ended with her suggesting we had a chat with our safeguarding lead in the NY about this when I told her about and she has asked me to get a copy of the transgender trend schools pack. So its all good and I'm not in any bother as I have a sensible boss, but it could have been very different.

I know this has been happening to lots of women, but I have barely put my head over the parapet and this happens. I feel a bit shaken.

Please, feel free to do a search for all the times regulars on the board advocated punching people. If you look really, really hard, you'll find lots of us advocating free speech and exploring violence.

I know it's a bind having to do that, but none of us here is your mum, or your junior, so tough.

Exploring = deploring

I'm guessing the wall bloke thinks feminism is responsible for earthquake and cancer too. Nasty wimmins, they turned the milk sour too!

“Please, feel free to do a search for all the times regulars on the board advocated punching people. If you look really, really hard, you'll find lots of us advocating free speech and exploring violence.” It was (mostly) the far left that advocated violence. Not feminists. Public shaming and contacting ones employers demanding the sexist was fired was far more typical of feminists though. Both are wrong and I’m merely pointing out that if you want it stopped everyone has to stop it, it can’t be alright when your side do it. Do it and you only make it a part of the political discourse.

“I know it's a bind having to do that, but none of us here is your mum, or your junior, so tough.” Pretty typical of the abuse on these forms. And we wonder why feminism is widely seen by many as toxic? Remarks like those from feminists, totally unnecessary but very common.

@Cowjumping “I had a similar doxxing experience. The investigation went on over about 3 months but it’s taken me most of a year to recover. People here were very helpful both on line and via anonymous secret groups sending me support.“

That’s horrible. Did you ever find out who did this to you?

Bad bad feminists! Can’t you see you’re upsetting the poor man by not being nice. He was only trying to explain why women are responsible for everything wrong in the world. Poor mansplainer

How is someone saying that theyre not your mum or your junior abuse?

Have you had a very sheltered life?

Be careful I might mob you. BOO

I know it's a bind having to do that, but none of us here is your mum, or your junior, so tough And that's abuse?

It's actually assertiveness. Women stating that they are not responsible for a random man with an agenda who rocks up to a feminism board telling us why feminism is "toxic" while claiming to have no agenda.

OP. I hope that things are settling down at work and you are less stressed. Well done for how the discussion ended up. It's a dreadful thing when looking out for the safety of women and children can be characterised as transphobia but these are indeed challenging times.

I think the thing that is interesting (well, that’s one word for it) is that women - and feminists particularly- have the accusation “transphobic “ thrown at them when they express concern for women and girls.

That is, we’re accused of being transphobic because we centre women. When we don’t even mention transwomen

Sorry loaf. Glad your boss is on board though.

“I know it's a bind having to do that, but none of us here is your mum, or your junior, so tough.” Pretty typical of the abuse on these forms. And we wonder why feminism is widely seen by many as toxic? Remarks like those from feminists, totally unnecessary but very common.

That's abuse? Wow, I pity my poor kids then, for whom I am mother, and yet I still ask them to do their own work (be that picking up socks, or research for homework)

Who knew that suggesting someone do something for themselves was abuse!

Yes, anything that doesn't put everyone else ahead of the women first and foremost is "abuse". Because it's our role to be second, dontcha know. Even on a predominantly female forum.

Not that one should need to repeat them yet again since we are mostly familiar, but for any lurkers and derailers, The Bewilderness's many Rules of Misogyny are clearly in evidence here: 2, 3, 4, 5, 11 & 12 in particular.

1st rule of misogyny: Women are responsible for what men do.
2nd rule of misogyny: Women saying no to men is a hate crime.
3rd rule of misogyny: Women speaking for themselves are exclusionary and selfish.
4th rule of misogyny: Women's opinions are violence against men thus male violence against women is justified.
5th rule of misogyny: WATM! [What about the Men] Women and Feminism must be useful to men or they are worthless.
6th rule of misogyny: Women who go around being female AT men by menstruating and breast feeding babies deserve punishment.
7th rule of misogyny: Women should always be grateful to men for everything.
8th rule of misogyny: Men are whatever men say they are and women are whatever men say they are.
9th rule of misogyny: Men always know the "real reasons" for everything women do and say.
10th rule of misogyny: The worst thing about male violence is that it males men look bad.
11th rule of misogyny: Basic pattern recognition skills are cruel and evil when they hurt men's feelings.
12th rule of misogyny: whatever women suffer from, men suffer from more.

Anyway. To get back to the topic in hand, I'm so sorry OP

An appalling thing to happen, and I'm just glad that your boss is so sensible. Not everybody's would be

“That's abuse?“ it’s ugly and toxic and utterly unnecessary rudeness and being hostile for no reason. So yeah I guess you could call it verbally abusive, yeah. It’s typical on feminist forums and probably why most people do not consider themselves feminists and see feminism as a toxic movement for malcontents with chips on their shoulders. And face it, the feminist movement did more than most to introduce this nasty online culture into the political discourse where we now have people doing horrible things like finding out where people work and writing to their employers. The feminist movement helped birth this. PS. I’m not even a man. Fighting sexists? Take the log out your own eye first.

Ah, here it comes

Genuinely cannot fathom how you could ever possibly see that as abusive or compare it to the kinds of abuse actually aimed at women.

What is your evidence or reasoning for your assertion that feminism generally is responsible for a toxic online culture that includes doxxing of those who have different opinions? You have asserted it a couple of times now but without any explanation of why you think that.

Mrwall: “I hate feminists cos yeah they’re the source of everything that’s wrong in the world and they’re abusive and the reason why decent misogynistic men are losing their livelihoods, and feminists deserve everything coming to them and...and .... and ad infinitum.

Yawn.

ps Take the log out your own eye??? Wtf??Who puts logs in their eyes? Is this a new trans cult thing?

Standing up for yourself by setting boundaries is "ugly and toxic"?

OK. But only if you think women should be pretty and delightful and soft and "feminine" and nice at all times. I don't because I don't think that's our role in life. And I don't think the examples given so far of "nasty feminists whose own fault this all is" are comparable to - well, death and rape threats, which is what women are currently getting for wrong-think on matters of, in this case, their own biology.

it’s ugly and toxic and utterly unnecessary rudeness and being hostile for no reason.

It’s typical on feminist forums and probably why most people do not consider themselves feminists and see feminism as a toxic movement for malcontents with chips on their shoulders

Ah, see, now that is abusive.

Calling people malcontents with chips on their shoulders, ugly and toxic definitely abuse. Asking them to do their own research, really not.

You can dress it up as being assertive all you like but it's full of bullying on here with anyone who disagrees

Debate = bullying
Disagreeing with you = bullying
Defending the rights of women = toxic

Right ho, you’ve convinced me, I’ll be nice from now on.

You are having a laugh, surely, GlitterStick?

An assertion was made about feminists regularly advocating violence on these discussion boards, and the poster making that assertion was invited to back it up with some facts. You think that's bullying?!

It's ridiculous the constant sniping about how mean and awful all the nasty women are who post on FWR.

Nope nothing wrong with disagreeing with people it's the personal attacks when someone doesn't agree

No, no laugh here. It's rife. Speaking from experience

“I know it's a bind having to do that, but none of us here is your mum, or your junior, so tough.”

“That's abuse?“ it’s ugly and toxic and utterly unnecessary rudeness and being hostile for no reason. So yeah I guess you could call it verbally abusive, yeah.

It's common sense. But I guess suggesting people shouldn't have such a thin skin when online is abuse when a woman says it a man.

Meanwhile, shall we get back to how rape threats are ignored all the time?