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Women's health

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Original poster

Torn perineum during sex. Can I have a handhold / hug? Very sore

318 replies

Feelinglost006 · 22/01/2021 05:01

Exactly that. I had sex at the weekend. Used a condom (Tesco brand and they seemed to go very dry very quickly anyone tempted by the cheaper price compared to durex and mates etc - DONT! they are truly awful and will leave you feeling red raw) added some water based lube and felt much more comfortable. Was a bit sting-y having a wee afterwards. Anyway that night I felt hot, sore throat, feverish. banging headache which has taken days to shift. Immediately booked a covid test (My job brings me into contact with covid cases) so wanted to be careful and make sure. Had the test monday, isolated and tuesday it came back negative.

my privates became more and more swollen and lots of sores which resemble ulcers appeared/ I have had several vaginal births and the pain of being torn and stitched after birth has got nothing on this. Feels like millions of tiny papercuts. Surprisingly no discharge or smell. So i began warm salt baths, I wear cotton underwear anyway as I cant tolerate anything synthetic down there. I got some sudocreme which didnt help at all so got some vagisil (lidocaine for the pain)

Its just got worse and worse. I can barely walk, hardly sit down, its red hot, hard and swollen and gone a green / yellow colour between my vagina and anus and I have ulcers all over. Managed to get a GP appt after 2 days waiting. Was examined as scared it might be herpes. They had difficulty in examining me its so bad and painful but DR said I have a considerable tear in the perineum and a couple of smaller splits / grazes which have sadly become infected. Also have a temperature due to the infection.

Been prescribed 7 days anti biotics , tramadol for pain and paracetomol plus 5% lidocaine instead of the 2% . The tramadol isnt touching the pain at all. tried codeine phosphate and paracetomol before that which also did nothing. I am getting shooting pains deep into my vagina, stinging pains where it feels like someones cutting me with a razor blade and it feels constantly wet and damp (its actually very dry down there but feels damp IYSWIM I am dapping the area when i use the loo and it now looks like a faintly bloody / watery/ dirty dischage on the paper (have to really look at the loo roll to see the change in colour. still no smell thankfully.

Just feeling very sorry for myself and wanted a bit of a virtual hug. I wasnt deliberately hurt, he put several fingers in me which I enjoy but i think with the dry condom and friction from that then fingers has caused it to tear. I didnt even notice at the time . Feel a bit mortfied really.

OP posts:
lcdododo · 22/01/2021 08:06

OP, your knowledge of Herpes is very very poor

Alternista · 22/01/2021 08:07

Bloody hell, it sounds awful you poor thing. Hope the clinic can shed more light this morning.

Bleepingpage · 22/01/2021 08:07

Both HSV1 and HSV2 can be sexually transmitted and cause genital ulcers. New case of genital ulcers in the UK - more likely HSV1 than HSV2 these days. HSV2 is not often the cause of cold sores, they're nearly always HSV1 - but it can happen.

dottiedaisee · 22/01/2021 08:08

@WunWun

I'm surprised the surgery let you in with a temperature. At mine they scan you at the door.
A high temperature is a symptom of lots of medical problems...not just Covid !
Original poster
Feelinglost006 · 22/01/2021 08:11

No I wasn’t forced to have sex . I really don’t want to go into the whole thing as I don’t know whose reading and I am really embarrassed and feel people are probably judging me. But it wasn’t abusive or rough . If it makes more sense I like to have several (like all) his fingers inside me . He used a tonne of lube and went slowly and building up. Something we have done before a couple of times it didn’t hurt at all at the time. There was no bleeding or pain or anything. As I say it felt more uncomfortable the friction from the condom which became dry really quickly. I think it is that brand as afterwards I remembered when I was with me husband (now long split up) I brought some Tesco condoms before and he passed comment that he didn’t think they were all that good and seemed like too much friction with them . As I say along time ago and I had totally forgotten until after as it reminded me . Then it was just normal doggy and missionary with my legs over his shoulders. Again normal comfortable enjoyable position for me. He didn’t even come in the condom or inside me I switched to oral which is why I mention my throat being ok when the dr took a look. He didn’t give me oral at any stage to have given me something from his mouth or throat.

Hope this makes things a bit clearer for those who are trying to be helpful about the situation. Thanks. I do appreciate it

OP posts:
Original poster
Feelinglost006 · 22/01/2021 08:13

Thanks for the helpful poster pointing out my knowledge isn’t just poor but very very poor. Until two days ago I had never had reason to be googling perineal ulcers among other things or reading much about herpes so do excuse me if I am not fully up to speed on it all Hmm

OP posts:
Thedarksideofthemoon30 · 22/01/2021 08:17

Not via sex but I had this after my first child at 17. Epsitotomy came undone and ended up massively infected, all green and so so so painful. I spent 3 months in bed unable to move or walk. What helped was washing it with warm water snd salt and a flannel in bed and then laidwitb my legs open and letting it dry.

I ended up with repair surgery a few years later as it didn’t heal and just grew skin over the hole.

EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 22/01/2021 08:18

Do you mean he fisted you? Depending on how big his hands are then maybe he did do you damage!

crystalize · 22/01/2021 08:19

You poor thing, it sounds awful. Just a recommendation, if you are on anti biotics and are prone to thrush, try taking some strong probiotics to balance out the gut bacteria. Natural yoghurt and kefir are great too. Years ago my thrush problems were cleared for good after probiotics.

ApplestheHare · 22/01/2021 08:21

Sorry to hear this has happened OP, sounds awful, hope you're feeling better soon Flowers

RochelleGoyle · 22/01/2021 08:22

Hi OP, sending hugs/hand-hold to you. What a horrible experience. I hope you get some answers when you go to the clinic and can get this sorted properly. Try not to feel ashamed/dirty, you've done nothing wrong. CakeBrew

CrunchyCarrot · 22/01/2021 08:25

Has anyone mentioned a possible allergic reaction to the material of the condom?

Whatever it is, you poor thing and I hope you get better soon.

ChikiTIKI · 22/01/2021 08:25

This sounds sooo painful and stressful. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

And obviously you don't know all about this already, otherwise you wouldn't have started the thread. Just ignore people being rude. I'm sure its just because they're having a bad day and you don't seem real to them in that this is just typing over the Internet, so they're raking it out on you. I'm sure if they had a real friend face to face in this much pain and distress they would be loving and kind to them.

Hope you get it sorted ASAP.

Original poster
Feelinglost006 · 22/01/2021 08:25

His hands aren’t big and it wasn’t full fisting. It was just four fingers (sorry I know it sounds grim ) nails trimmed and clean and loads and loads of water based lube. Also slow and careful not fast or aggressive etc It was a new lube I have never used before though so perhaps that has irritated everything with all what else was going on.

Will try the pro biotics as I have heard before anti biotics can play havoc with you if you are prone to thrush

OP posts:
sausagepastapot · 22/01/2021 08:26

I know a lot about herpes too and this definitely sounds like herpes. You need a swab and blood test and then you'll need to go on Aciclovir.

Anti biotics and witchcraft don't work on herpes.

Plussizejumpsuit · 22/01/2021 08:27

@WunWun

I'm surprised the surgery let you in with a temperature. At mine they scan you at the door.
She had a negative covid test.
Original poster
Feelinglost006 · 22/01/2021 08:27

Yes checked condom box and they are latex. Never had any allergic reaction to latex before . Also they were a brand new box only purchased a couple of days before and in date (I have double checked )

OP posts:
Tyranttoddler · 22/01/2021 08:29

Glad to hear you're going for a check up today. You need to get to a GUM clinic where they will swab for herpes so don't wait til it gets better as then they won't. It sounds very painful indeed but if it is herpes, it's usually the worst the first time you get it (with the cold and flu like symptoms). Hope it eases for you soon.

Bleepingpage · 22/01/2021 08:30

OP, the comment about your lack of knowledge is very unfair. There's lots of misinformation on this thread, many people don't know much about herpes or what they think they know is wrong or out-of-date. I never assume that anyone has any prior knowledge, most people don't have an avid interest in the causes and treatment of genital ulceration - if they do, they're probably working in the GUM Hmm Grin

Plussizejumpsuit · 22/01/2021 08:33

This sounds bloody awful op. I have sinus problems so have antibiotics quite often. I try to have yakault and the fruity pro biotic tablets when I'm taking them. I often still get thrush but it's work a go! As you don't want thrush on top of this!

Tyranttoddler · 22/01/2021 08:33

There is a post on here about there being implications for pregnancy with herpes. I know op you say this doesn't apply to you but if anyone else is reading this and panics, please read the nhs pages as they are very informative. No one gave a shit that I had herpes, as many women do, when I was pregnant.

sammylady37 · 22/01/2021 08:34

@lcdododo

OP, your knowledge of Herpes is very very poor
What a spectacularly unhelpful comment Hmm
wifterwafter · 22/01/2021 08:35

That sounds so painful and uncomfortable. I hope you get some answers when you get seen later on today.

Tyranttoddler · 22/01/2021 08:36

(Not that I'm saying the post was wrong. Just that there's no need to panic if anyone does Smile)

Arobase · 22/01/2021 08:37

@lcdododo

OP, your knowledge of Herpes is very very poor
FFS, why on earth would anyone have an encyclopaedic knowledge of Herpes if they haven't had a direct reason to need to find out about it before?