Torn perineum during sex. Can I have a handhold / hug? Very sore

[Feelinglost006]

Exactly that. I had sex at the weekend. Used a condom (Tesco brand and they seemed to go very dry very quickly anyone tempted by the cheaper price compared to durex and mates etc - DONT! they are truly awful and will leave you feeling red raw) added some water based lube and felt much more comfortable. Was a bit sting-y having a wee afterwards. Anyway that night I felt hot, sore throat, feverish. banging headache which has taken days to shift. Immediately booked a covid test (My job brings me into contact with covid cases) so wanted to be careful and make sure. Had the test monday, isolated and tuesday it came back negative.

my privates became more and more swollen and lots of sores which resemble ulcers appeared/ I have had several vaginal births and the pain of being torn and stitched after birth has got nothing on this. Feels like millions of tiny papercuts. Surprisingly no discharge or smell. So i began warm salt baths, I wear cotton underwear anyway as I cant tolerate anything synthetic down there. I got some sudocreme which didnt help at all so got some vagisil (lidocaine for the pain)

Its just got worse and worse. I can barely walk, hardly sit down, its red hot, hard and swollen and gone a green / yellow colour between my vagina and anus and I have ulcers all over. Managed to get a GP appt after 2 days waiting. Was examined as scared it might be herpes. They had difficulty in examining me its so bad and painful but DR said I have a considerable tear in the perineum and a couple of smaller splits / grazes which have sadly become infected. Also have a temperature due to the infection.

Been prescribed 7 days anti biotics , tramadol for pain and paracetomol plus 5% lidocaine instead of the 2% . The tramadol isnt touching the pain at all. tried codeine phosphate and paracetomol before that which also did nothing. I am getting shooting pains deep into my vagina, stinging pains where it feels like someones cutting me with a razor blade and it feels constantly wet and damp (its actually very dry down there but feels damp IYSWIM I am dapping the area when i use the loo and it now looks like a faintly bloody / watery/ dirty dischage on the paper (have to really look at the loo roll to see the change in colour. still no smell thankfully.

Just feeling very sorry for myself and wanted a bit of a virtual hug. I wasnt deliberately hurt, he put several fingers in me which I enjoy but i think with the dry condom and friction from that then fingers has caused it to tear. I didnt even notice at the time . Feel a bit mortfied really.

[LadyLolaRuben]

How are things OP?

[TreacleHart]

Hope you are on the road to recovery now ? How did the return to work go ?

[CausingChaos2]

So sorry to hear you’ve been through hell with this really hope you’re on the mend now.

I have vulval eczema which means having a wee is often painful. I don’t know if this would be helpful and wouldn’t want to make anything worse for you - but I’ve been prescribed a barrier cream that is usually used for incontinence to protect the skin. It just means your wee doesn’t get into the sore bits. Sending you best wishes.

[Feelinglost006]

The nurse who has seen me twice doesn’t think sepsis. Just a very very bad virus which hit me hard and is taking its time to clear hence extending the anti virals longer.

[notapizzaeater]

Hope you start feeling better soon, could you tag some holiday days in to make sure you're fully recovered ?

[Haggisfish]

Oh thank goodness you’re on the (very slow) mend. You poor thing.

[CoffeeRunner]

Very glad to hear you’ve turned a corner OP. Hope you feel back to normal soon.

[Halfagonyhalfhope]

Hopefully it will heal up quickly 💐

[Feelinglost006]

Thanks again everyone. Feeling a lot better. Had a bad night last night as the painkillers wore off in the night and I was feeling bloody awful. Have got on top of them again through the day and feeling much better. That one ulcer is still lingering and stinging and causing stinging paper cut type pain but the others have all gone. I am going back to work Monday as this has been my rest week. Dreading it with the tiredness but hopefully turned a corner and now need to explore suggestions of how to combat stress and anxiety in general

[Doingitaloneandproud]

Sorry to hear about this OP, I see someone recommended L-Lysine which is a god send. I suffer from cold sores, but since taking 1x1000mg of L-L every day, the sores are less frequent. If I do have an outbreak then I up it to 3 times a day spaced out and the length the attacks last are less.
I do also have a little machine to try and stop them in its tracks, but can't be used on genital area, it's called Herpotherm.
I hope you feel better ASAP and are managing to rest up

[BeckyWithTheGoodHair5629456]

OP it sounds like you're having an awful time. As you now know it's type 1, the good news is you will likely never ever get another outbreak. I have had this from a boyfriend who unknowingly had the start of a coldsore. I had one awful initial episode and have never had another outbreak. That must have been 12 years ago now. Good luck with your recovery

[EarringsandLipstick]

How are you doing OP?

Would it worth following up on some of the ongoing issues with the GP? Especially on the recommendations of the last few PPs (not P3rsephone)

[EarringsandLipstick]

@P3rsephone

Poor you and big love. Its nice bathing in the first glows and the emotional connection of love. If you ever find yourself single, a bit of naughty is nice.

Er, what @P3rsephone ?

What a weird thing to write on this thread.

[Halfagonyhalfhope]

My husband had amitriptyline for post shingles nerve pain and it was great. Low dose and short term just to calm things down. Thinking of you OP.x

[endofthelinefinally]

Amitriptylene is very good for lingering nerve pain. It might be worth asking at the clinic if it is used for post herpetic pain.

[Feelinglost006]

@P3rsephone hmm. Saying nothing. Only the feeling of erm fullness from PIV with him and a toy from good old love honey elsewhere is no where near worth this level of hell I have been through x

[Feelinglost006]

Thanks it’s the constant trips to the toilet . Just want it to stop . I can cope with feeling wiped out but this pain and stomach cramps now with it I have had as much as I can take . It’s effecting my sleep . Fingers crossed tomorrow is a better day I can’t cope with this much longer

[Alternista]

You poor thing, it just sounds so horrific. You must feel so low with it all. Really hoping you turn a corner tonight.

[SansaClegane]

Hi OP,
I've just caught up with your saga and I really feel for you.

I get cold sores which I guess are the "acceptable" version. I recognise a lot of the symptoms- the feverishness, feeling utterly ill and run down, nerve pain, swollen glands...
Mine always happens/ starts in the same place (blister on my top lip, slightly on the right side) and results in my lip swelling to 4 x its normal size (no exaggeration), right side of face swelling and being sore to touch, nerve pain from eye down the side of the face and down the neck.
In 20 years of having it, I've not found anything to really prevent an outbreak, only to minimise it when it comes (to a degree).
What helps is to know your triggers - it's usually a combination of at least two: being very run down, having a cold, extreme stress, high sun exposure, friction to the area (for me that's snogging, for you that would have been...).
As soon as I feel the first tingle I start treating - I've found a medication called "herpatch" that works wonders for me but I'm not sure if you can use it in intimate regions. And then avoiding / reducing whatever the triggers were.
I always feel guilty about taking time off work for this but sometimes I have to, if I know I've been under too much stress and have to recover from that. Plus (and I think a lot of people underestimate this or don't get it) it makes you feel seriously ill and wipes you out, it's not "just a few blisters".
It's shit to live with though, it really is. It's a nasty illness and stigmatised. I hope you feel better very soon and get to know your triggers and warning signs, so hopefully it will not happen too much in the future and / or be less severe!

[Haybo26]

The watery stools may well have been caused by antibiotics. Hope you start to see light at the end of the tunnel. Be kind to yourself.

[Feelinglost006]

The worst today has been constant shooting pains in my legs and nerve pain in my feet along with the most awful diarrhoea. Been to the toilet about 8 times this afternoon. It’s basically liquid now. Which means a sore stinging perineum again from the wiping and irritation in that area. It just never ends.

No idea what’s caused it as I only had tea apple juice and water yesterday and sandwich and some noodles in the evening. I did have some chocolate so maybe that’s kicked it off. Water jelly Toast and a very bland diet today to try and help it settle.

Really really hope this is the worst of it working its way out of my system now. Totally over this and just want to feel pain free as it’s distressing writing around in pain. Waiting for a break in toilet trips so I can get to the chemist for some lidocaine and neurofen .

[Halfagonyhalfhope]

I'm so sorry that you're still suffering. Hopefully GUM will have useful input and more help tomorrow. I've never had genital herpes but I've had recurrent thrush complicated by an allergic reaction to thrush creams and dermatitis. I couldn't walk at all and it went on for weeks. And as sore as it was, what you are going through sounds much worse. Take really good care of yourself.