Torn perineum during sex. Can I have a handhold / hug? Very sore

[Feelinglost006]

Exactly that. I had sex at the weekend. Used a condom (Tesco brand and they seemed to go very dry very quickly anyone tempted by the cheaper price compared to durex and mates etc - DONT! they are truly awful and will leave you feeling red raw) added some water based lube and felt much more comfortable. Was a bit sting-y having a wee afterwards. Anyway that night I felt hot, sore throat, feverish. banging headache which has taken days to shift. Immediately booked a covid test (My job brings me into contact with covid cases) so wanted to be careful and make sure. Had the test monday, isolated and tuesday it came back negative.

my privates became more and more swollen and lots of sores which resemble ulcers appeared/ I have had several vaginal births and the pain of being torn and stitched after birth has got nothing on this. Feels like millions of tiny papercuts. Surprisingly no discharge or smell. So i began warm salt baths, I wear cotton underwear anyway as I cant tolerate anything synthetic down there. I got some sudocreme which didnt help at all so got some vagisil (lidocaine for the pain)

Its just got worse and worse. I can barely walk, hardly sit down, its red hot, hard and swollen and gone a green / yellow colour between my vagina and anus and I have ulcers all over. Managed to get a GP appt after 2 days waiting. Was examined as scared it might be herpes. They had difficulty in examining me its so bad and painful but DR said I have a considerable tear in the perineum and a couple of smaller splits / grazes which have sadly become infected. Also have a temperature due to the infection.

Been prescribed 7 days anti biotics , tramadol for pain and paracetomol plus 5% lidocaine instead of the 2% . The tramadol isnt touching the pain at all. tried codeine phosphate and paracetomol before that which also did nothing. I am getting shooting pains deep into my vagina, stinging pains where it feels like someones cutting me with a razor blade and it feels constantly wet and damp (its actually very dry down there but feels damp IYSWIM I am dapping the area when i use the loo and it now looks like a faintly bloody / watery/ dirty dischage on the paper (have to really look at the loo roll to see the change in colour. still no smell thankfully.

Just feeling very sorry for myself and wanted a bit of a virtual hug. I wasnt deliberately hurt, he put several fingers in me which I enjoy but i think with the dry condom and friction from that then fingers has caused it to tear. I didnt even notice at the time . Feel a bit mortfied really.

[Minky37]

Jeez this sounds horrendous, hoe you can get seen quickly at the GUM clinic.
Why do posters have to point out that OP’s knowledge is very poor, so what if it’s is? I must admit I’m surprised to find out condoms don’t protect from herpes.

[partyatthepalace]

@WunWun

I'm surprised the surgery let you in with a temperature. At mine they scan you at the door.

@WunWun

Because from the description of OPs symptoms she’d have given the docs it’s pretty likely she was running a temp due to infection.

What would you expect them to do??

[rockinaftermidnite]

I'm violently allergic to latex! Sores, swelling, itching, agony. Can you get tested for latex allergy, OP?
I'm sorry you're going through this and hope you feel better very soon.

[Bleepingpage]

Agreed, herpes in pregnancy is not usually a particular issue - unless it's a primary infection in the last trimester/within 6 weeks of delivery. That's why it's important for women to be tested if they ever suspect they are having an outbreak, IMHO.

[MumInBrussels]

@lcdododo

OP, your knowledge of Herpes is very very poor

Lucky she's not working in a GUM clinic and is going to see the people who specialise in these things, then, isn't it?

OP, I don't have any advice for you - I know even less than you do about herpes - but I'm glad you're going to get a further opinion and I hope you start to feel better soon. Please don't feel ashamed - you haven't done anything wrong. In fact, you've been both brave and sensible enough to ask for help with what sounds like a horrendous infection; you should be proud of yourself!

[Thisisworsethananticpated]

Are you sure it isn’t herpes ? I had a very surprise case of it
Either way the care and TLC I used was

Rinse with tea tree oil diluted in water after every wee
Use a hair dryer to dry it gently
No pants ideally , I used a standing desk
Or take a sick day to heal it

Trust me here , coconut oil
It has healing properties and is an excellent antiviral , get a new tub and gently apply

But the main thing is rest , healing and possible a second option via GUM clinic

[Bleepingpage]

(Apologies if anyone read my comment about herpes and pregnancy and panicked! If you ever think you might have herpes - get thee to the GUM. Always better to know).

[Lovemusic33]

I have don’t this before but not experienced what you are describing, I agree with others about getting a sti test once it’s settled a little.

I have a tear when I was 19, I didn’t feel anything when it happened, woke up in BF bed covered in blood, was so embarrassed as he lived with his parents and I had got blood over all the bedding and mattress, because I had no pain I totally panicked and thought I had miscarried or something (young and stupid) so went to the doctors and was told it was a tear. I was just told to clean with warm salty water and luckily it healed pretty quick, no infection and hardly any pain (unlike post child birth). Definitely get checked for herpes just incase.

[Thisisworsethananticpated]

By the way there is NO shame in herpes
I’d been with one man for 18 years and it popped up
Either it was dormant or he cheated
Don’t panic ! But friction is a major trigger , I got it back from a bike ride
Once
The only thing that gets rid of it are the antivirals
However the self care and the coconut oil really helps xxx
You will heal , and the pain will pass
Promise
But GUM if you haven’t been swabbed as it doesn’t sound like a tear to me

[CutsOffCorners]

If it is herpes, what you want is Lomaherpan cream from the British Herpes Association. It's utterly amazing, it soothes the pain and clears the sores up. The tubes are tiny so buy more than one though! It was a game changer for my cold sores, but can be used on genital herpes too.

[Rosehip10]

Please go to the GUM before you start covering yourself with non-prescribed oil and creams as recommended above.

They will be able to examine you, do all the tests and prescribe anything you need, if it is something like herpes they will often run specialist clinics too.

[BejeweledCrocs]

Bless you that sounds painful. Hope your next appointment helps. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. x

[ShirleyPhallus]

You poor thing op, it does sound like herpes and hope you get it sorted ASAP. You can also take stronger painkillers if it is really painful and would recommend alternating paracetamol with ibuprofen

Can’t believe some of the awful comments on here. But then it’s mumsnet, so maybe I can

[Flippy87]

I think you’re right OP to hold off on any other treatments until you’ve been to the GUM clinic and know for sure what you’re dealing with. Hopefully they can tell you what it is and ensure a speedy recovery

[minnie465]

Ouch OP.

Sitz Bath for Toilet - Portable Sitz Bath Basin for Hemorrhoids Treatment, Postpartum Care, Pregnant Women, Perineal, Episiotomy Soak Relief, and Elderly - Fits Standard Toilets and Commode Chair https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07YJRJK7W/ref=cmswwrcppapifabcc-yPcGb8HD3DMZ?encoding=UTF8&psc=1

I have one of these sitz bath. It's a great job. Might help you.

Hope you feel better soon

[JanieLane]

Name changed for this.

My heart goes out to you, OP. I really hope you get the right treatment from GUM clinic.

In my case I was 16 when I had herpes. Only one boyfriend, lost my virginity to him. It was horrendous and I didn’t know what was going on! Had blisters both down below and on my tongue. Awful. Incredible pain.

Had eventually had to tell my Mum, who was mortified and didn’t know I was on the pill! That made it even worse but she took me to the GUM clinic where herpes was diagnosed.

I had to tell my boyfriend, who insisted he hadn’t slept with anyone else (even though he was quite outspoken of his conquests when we first got together, but he told me it was all bravado to impress me ) We were together for over 10 years afterwards but he sometimes brought it up making out I MUST have cheated, I really hadn’t.

I felt such shame at the time, I was mortified. I was also in the middle of taking exams at school.

34 years later I haven’t had another flare up, although it’s always been at the back of my mind. My Mum suffers from terrible cold sores, I’ve never had them, only herpes down below. Those in the know, are these unrelated? Different complex (unsure of right terminology).

Let us know how you get on OP. I’m sure you’ll start feeling relief soon

[ShopoholicIn]

OP i struggled to read your post.. can't imagine how you are bearing all the pain and discomfort. Virtual handholding and hugs. .

Sincerely hoping u feel better soon.

[Dailyhandtowelwash]

That sounds awful, OP. I hope the clinic can help. I bet I know the least about herpes of anyone, and this thread has been an eyeopener in what to look out for.

You have my deepest sympathies on the pain. I've been in agony with Bartholin's cysts so I know how awful it is.

[Ttt333]

I really feel for you op. I had this (name changed) and it turned out to be herpes. Had sex with a new partner, felt a bit sore the next day and it stung to wee, but I often get UTI’s so thought it was that. 2 days later my vulva felt like it was covered in paper cuts and was so sore and swollen and urinating was agony. Partner had been using teatree shower gel so we thought it was an allergic reaction to that or the condom. Then I came down with a fever and was in so much pain I could barely move.

Went to the Gp who said I was covered in sores but was in so much pain I actually got sent to the gynaecology ward where they swabbed me whilst I had gas and air and had a stay over night it was that bad!

A strong course of the right medication sorted it out plus topical lotion. Fingers crossed it’s never come back thank god. They said I had such a severe reaction as it was the first attack (I’d never even had a cold sore before)

Hope you get sorted quickly

[RCMcGee]

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Are you sure it isn’t herpes ? I had a very surprise case of it
Either way the care and TLC I used was

Rinse with tea tree oil diluted in water after every wee
Use a hair dryer to dry it gently
No pants ideally , I used a standing desk
Or take a sick day to heal it

Trust me here , coconut oil
It has healing properties and is an excellent antiviral , get a new tub and gently apply

But the main thing is rest , healing and possible a second option via GUM clinic

Do NOT put coconut oil on a torn/blistered vagina! It is HIGHLY comedogenic meaning that it can clog any potential pores or crevices and keep the infection trapped inside. I am sick of people thinking that if you slather coconut oil on anything it fixes it. It doesn't, especially with something as sensitive similar to what OP is dealing with right now.

OP, I had a similar experience to you, and it wasn't herpes, but I went to get tested anyway just to be sure. Turns out I was allergic to condoms and my contraception made me dry. I hope you feel better soon.

[ZooeyS]

Ow! I've got no helpful advice but I am really glad you are going to the GUM clinic; that sounds absolutely miserable. Hopefully they'll be able to help you really quickly and you get some relief

[Bleepingpage]

@JanieLane cold sores and genital ulcers - both herpes simplex virus. Historically, cold sores more likely to be HSV1, genital ulcers more likely HSV2. Nowadays, new genital ulcers in the UK are more likely to be HSV1. HSV2 not often seen in cold sores. We're seeing more HSV1 causing genital ulcers because people are having more oral sex, basically. I'm sorry that your first boyfriend was so ignorant

[Angrymum22]

Latex allergy is becoming very common. I developed an allergy to latex after years of wearing latex gloves at work. Because I had to stop using them and any other latex products when I accidentally put on a pair of latex gloves the reaction is almost immediate, in less than 10seconds my hands start to burn and blister.
Herpes is the most likely cause but contact allergy would look very similar. But if you test negative you will need to identify the cause because a severe allergy can be potentially life threatening.
If I have any sort of ultrasound (had to have a thyroid biopsy recently) they cannot use the normal protective cover over the probe. The last one I had they had to borrow clingfilm from the cafe in the hospital foyer.
Even if you are ok with latex it could be the lube you use that you have become allergic to.

[JanieLane]

@Bleepingpage thank you. It really was a pretty bleak time.

So could someone who has a cold sore, pass that on during oral sex and cause genital herpes? Excuse my ignorance.

[iknowimcoming]

Just to chip in on the allergy thing - I used to have a horrible allergic reaction to the lube on mates condoms years ago so that's another possibility. Glad you're getting checked over today OP and I really hope you feel better soon