Torn perineum during sex. Can I have a handhold / hug? Very sore

[Feelinglost006]

Exactly that. I had sex at the weekend. Used a condom (Tesco brand and they seemed to go very dry very quickly anyone tempted by the cheaper price compared to durex and mates etc - DONT! they are truly awful and will leave you feeling red raw) added some water based lube and felt much more comfortable. Was a bit sting-y having a wee afterwards. Anyway that night I felt hot, sore throat, feverish. banging headache which has taken days to shift. Immediately booked a covid test (My job brings me into contact with covid cases) so wanted to be careful and make sure. Had the test monday, isolated and tuesday it came back negative.

my privates became more and more swollen and lots of sores which resemble ulcers appeared/ I have had several vaginal births and the pain of being torn and stitched after birth has got nothing on this. Feels like millions of tiny papercuts. Surprisingly no discharge or smell. So i began warm salt baths, I wear cotton underwear anyway as I cant tolerate anything synthetic down there. I got some sudocreme which didnt help at all so got some vagisil (lidocaine for the pain)

Its just got worse and worse. I can barely walk, hardly sit down, its red hot, hard and swollen and gone a green / yellow colour between my vagina and anus and I have ulcers all over. Managed to get a GP appt after 2 days waiting. Was examined as scared it might be herpes. They had difficulty in examining me its so bad and painful but DR said I have a considerable tear in the perineum and a couple of smaller splits / grazes which have sadly become infected. Also have a temperature due to the infection.

Been prescribed 7 days anti biotics , tramadol for pain and paracetomol plus 5% lidocaine instead of the 2% . The tramadol isnt touching the pain at all. tried codeine phosphate and paracetomol before that which also did nothing. I am getting shooting pains deep into my vagina, stinging pains where it feels like someones cutting me with a razor blade and it feels constantly wet and damp (its actually very dry down there but feels damp IYSWIM I am dapping the area when i use the loo and it now looks like a faintly bloody / watery/ dirty dischage on the paper (have to really look at the loo roll to see the change in colour. still no smell thankfully.

Just feeling very sorry for myself and wanted a bit of a virtual hug. I wasnt deliberately hurt, he put several fingers in me which I enjoy but i think with the dry condom and friction from that then fingers has caused it to tear. I didnt even notice at the time . Feel a bit mortfied really.

Thanks all . And thanks for all the support and handholding and most of all kindness shown . It’s helped a lot. Still have a way to go with being fully better but I now know what’s wrong with me .

A lot of the focus now for me is on avoiding flare ups in the future. I am generally someone who’s tired a lot , struggles with insomnia anxiety and has a lot of stress and all of those are not good in conjunction with this virus. I desperately need to make serious changes to my life and emotional health. Find some stress relief or outlets . Self care .

Bloody hell. Sending hugs OP.

My cold sores always flare up when I'm run down. Take the very best care of yourself, pace yourself and build in plenty of downtime, good nutrition and time out. And spend more time with friends who'll take the time to listen. 💐

Definitely get some of the Lomaherpan from the Herpes Association. It's magic stuff.

@Feelinglost006

Thanks all . And thanks for all the support and handholding and most of all kindness shown . It’s helped a lot. Still have a way to go with being fully better but I now know what’s wrong with me .

A lot of the focus now for me is on avoiding flare ups in the future. I am generally someone who’s tired a lot , struggles with insomnia anxiety and has a lot of stress and all of those are not good in conjunction with this virus. I desperately need to make serious changes to my life and emotional health. Find some stress relief or outlets . Self care .

I have a disease which causes bouts of extreme exhaustion and so far (touch wood) I haven't had another case, first was summer during a severe illness. Type 1 like yours! I hope that's a little reassuring

Oh god you've really been through it op. All I wanted to add is don't be ashamed. It could have come from any where. Like your cheating ex as it can lie dormant. Even if you did get if from your recent partner, you used a condom so what else could you do?

Anyone who suffers from this .... do you take anti virals all the time ? Or do you have a stash you keep at home to start as soon as you get a flare up ? Don’t forget mine had been going on for around 5 days before I got the anti virals and I am aware they work best when taken straight away

Amazing what I have learnt this past week. Every days a school day it seems

I have a stash at home if needed.

But after my first outbreak (similar to yours) I have only had 1 small flare up in 7 years.

If you get regular flare ups then doctor may recommend to take daily as prophylaxis

It’s not the same I know but I have acute, nasty facial herpes (coldsores) often many and down my face and chin. It was in fact advice on here which stopped my endless conviction that it was a skin infection - so I got to the bottom of it. I went to a private dermatologist.

It’s been years and I know triggers - so I have to take care of myself. Too much ‘candle at both ends’ and it’s a done deal. So I can have the odd late night or whatever but need to watch it. Stress (unavoidable sometimes) needs to be balanced with mindfulness and decent eating. I take a good supplement, vitamin D, and at the slightest tingle (I get blisters all over my chin, nose and cheeks) I start oral anti-virals. But I also up the vitamin D and up the lysine. The lysine seems to help a lot. I stay on a low dose most of the time and since doing that the flare ups have decreased enormously.

I'm glad things are better op. I take nothing at the moment, haven't had an outbreak for about five years(and that one was odd, I had a temperature again with it, that isn't supposed to happen!) I had anti virals for my first outbreak, they didn't do much, and 16 years later, I've had a handful of attacks, dealt with with painkillers, and mostly frget I have it day to day. I'm careful with peanuts, too much and I'm definitely reminded it's there! Hopefully, you'll be similar

Keep a Stash at home
And same , after my really bad one I’ve not had any
I’ve staved off a
Couple potentials with the pills and my beloved coconut oil (sorry I know it annoyed everyone but it really works for me !)

You poor thing. So hope you feel better soon.

I hope you feel better very soon..I have just read your thread..you are a brave lady 💐💕💐

You'll be fine OP, once you get over the shock you'll realise it's no big deal. Hopefully you'll only have a couple of weaker flare ups and then nothing ever again. I had a few milder ones, maybe two total, after the first in the following year but nothing since, that's 10yrs ago now.

All those updates from fellow sufferers has given me a lot of hope . Xx

Hi OP. I hope you are starting to feel better. The "good" news is that (statistically speaking) HSV1 flares up less frequently than HSV2.

Many people will have a "back up" course of aciclovir stashed away - ask your GUM. If you find you have frequent flare-ups and/or they are very distressing to you, then ask about suppressive therapy (usually twice-daily aciclovir). Flare-ups are usually most frequent in the first years following diagnosis, then tend to subside.

Thankyou . I am due back at the GUM tomorrow so will discuss with them. The nerve pain in my legs and feet is just the worst today. All the sores on my genitals have gone apart from the main large ulcer on my perineum which is still there . Hard for it to heal as it’s irritated every time I move or walk and so on. Still feels like broken glass between my bum cheeks. The anti virals have finished now so it’s pain killers for the muscle pain and nerve pain

Soles of my feet / heels are burning and numb
Tingling and shooting pains in the back of my thighs
Thighs feel tight like I have pulled my hamstrings

Truly awful virus.

I'm so sorry that you're still suffering. Hopefully GUM will have useful input and more help tomorrow. I've never had genital herpes but I've had recurrent thrush complicated by an allergic reaction to thrush creams and dermatitis. I couldn't walk at all and it went on for weeks. And as sore as it was, what you are going through sounds much worse. Take really good care of yourself.

The worst today has been constant shooting pains in my legs and nerve pain in my feet along with the most awful diarrhoea. Been to the toilet about 8 times this afternoon. It’s basically liquid now. Which means a sore stinging perineum again from the wiping and irritation in that area. It just never ends.

No idea what’s caused it as I only had tea apple juice and water yesterday and sandwich and some noodles in the evening. I did have some chocolate so maybe that’s kicked it off. Water jelly Toast and a very bland diet today to try and help it settle.

Really really hope this is the worst of it working its way out of my system now. Totally over this and just want to feel pain free as it’s distressing writing around in pain. Waiting for a break in toilet trips so I can get to the chemist for some lidocaine and neurofen .

The watery stools may well have been caused by antibiotics. Hope you start to see light at the end of the tunnel. Be kind to yourself.

Hi OP,
I've just caught up with your saga and I really feel for you.

I get cold sores which I guess are the "acceptable" version. I recognise a lot of the symptoms- the feverishness, feeling utterly ill and run down, nerve pain, swollen glands...
Mine always happens/ starts in the same place (blister on my top lip, slightly on the right side) and results in my lip swelling to 4 x its normal size (no exaggeration), right side of face swelling and being sore to touch, nerve pain from eye down the side of the face and down the neck.
In 20 years of having it, I've not found anything to really prevent an outbreak, only to minimise it when it comes (to a degree).
What helps is to know your triggers - it's usually a combination of at least two: being very run down, having a cold, extreme stress, high sun exposure, friction to the area (for me that's snogging, for you that would have been...).
As soon as I feel the first tingle I start treating - I've found a medication called "herpatch" that works wonders for me but I'm not sure if you can use it in intimate regions. And then avoiding / reducing whatever the triggers were.
I always feel guilty about taking time off work for this but sometimes I have to, if I know I've been under too much stress and have to recover from that. Plus (and I think a lot of people underestimate this or don't get it) it makes you feel seriously ill and wipes you out, it's not "just a few blisters".
It's shit to live with though, it really is. It's a nasty illness and stigmatised. I hope you feel better very soon and get to know your triggers and warning signs, so hopefully it will not happen too much in the future and / or be less severe!

You poor thing, it just sounds so horrific. You must feel so low with it all. Really hoping you turn a corner tonight.

Thanks it’s the constant trips to the toilet . Just want it to stop . I can cope with feeling wiped out but this pain and stomach cramps now with it I have had as much as I can take . It’s effecting my sleep . Fingers crossed tomorrow is a better day I can’t cope with this much longer