X Factor - Best of British Week. I think we'll need it.

[RudolphUcker]

Tis I btw, Sue. In Christmas guise.

So it's Dear Old Blighty week. This is a new thing and promises to be second in mawkishness and misplaced patriotism only to the MiliWives screeching Jerusalem at the Pride of Britain awards, wearing GingerSpice outfits, straddling a Gurkha apiece. In bowler hats. that may not have happened but I could see it

The Babyshits are paying tribute to the armed forces, in particular Pretty Shit's brother - who is a Marine fingers crossed for photos

Rylan is doing a mash-up. I am hoping for I Vow To Thee My Country mixed with London Town.

Nothing on the rest. Nanfucker doing 'Grandma, we love you'? Pinhead being angsty and 'urban'? Same old, same old

Oh, and Wand Erection are doing a one-off performance, in a cunning bid to get their entire fan base watching the Baby Shits.

Any predictions?

I like the look of the new Brian Friedman. He looks like the gay wedding planner in SATC. up for the lulz.

Minge The Merciless would be a good name for Shitsinger actually. Bit of a mouthful.

Ta da!

Nanfucker is shaking more than a shakey thing on vibrate

God, the eyes - total fucking psycho...

Fuck me he's got his coat on again! Is he actually a reptile or something?

Be funnyiff he tripped.

He seems to have missed most of the notes so far.

And isn't breathing properly.

Shaking like hell!

My hatred of nanfucker is growing every week, nice dad dancing

Jessiegeeisitchristmasalready?

This too is like a toothpaste advert. And are they trying to liken him to a skittle?

"I'm still shaking"

Utter shite

I actually hate him.

Blardy hell what weird backing dancers!!!

Awful singing as well

Not standing for much longer, hopefully!

Pardon granted BOF.

BOFingSanta that's nice. Like it. Oh thank GOD he's finished.

He has a shirt, a fleece AND his binman coat.

GOD I hate him. He looks like every man who has ever slimed on me at a Yates' Wine Lodge.

Hope he's not still standing by 9pm tomorrow!

wasn't his worst ever performance though was it?!

Nice that he turned his head red for Remembrance Sunday though. Oh, it's always that colour.

God that was pure crap. I like cheese but that has been in the fridge for far too long.

'That was shit'

g'wan Shitsinger, say it.

Looks like Shitsinger may have had her toilet break early this week