X Factor - Best of British Week. I think we'll need it.

[RudolphUcker]

Tis I btw, Sue. In Christmas guise.

So it's Dear Old Blighty week. This is a new thing and promises to be second in mawkishness and misplaced patriotism only to the MiliWives screeching Jerusalem at the Pride of Britain awards, wearing GingerSpice outfits, straddling a Gurkha apiece. In bowler hats. that may not have happened but I could see it

The Babyshits are paying tribute to the armed forces, in particular Pretty Shit's brother - who is a Marine fingers crossed for photos

Rylan is doing a mash-up. I am hoping for I Vow To Thee My Country mixed with London Town.

Nothing on the rest. Nanfucker doing 'Grandma, we love you'? Pinhead being angsty and 'urban'? Same old, same old

Oh, and Wand Erection are doing a one-off performance, in a cunning bid to get their entire fan base watching the Baby Shits.

Any predictions?

Do you know, I don't think he has any upper teeth at all

Guy in a shellsuit singing outside the chippy

Oh I actually find myself agreeing with Louis

Spot on with Heart radio . It's like Steve Wright on loop.

We're looking for someone who doesn't look like a psycho Mr Potato head.

Wow, Dulisa is making sense

I think my neighbours have availed themselves of the '50 per cent off all fireworks'offer at the newsagents.

Thankfully it drowned out most of NanFucker

I'd sue if I was Elton...

I actually agree with Tulisa and Louis.

The people left from now on are the ones who are going on the tour, BTW.

We're looking for someone that doesn't look like he'd cut us up and eat us.

SHUT THE FUCK UP, NANFUCKER

Mine too KatieKitty (ooo, are you local?). Wankers.

Eeeeeeeeeeek he doesn't have a great voice. He's so bloody desperate. I know they all will be but he's so obvious.

He looks a wreck though. I wish he'd go out this week put him out of his misery.

Oh Rudolph, I read the Yates quote out to DH and he just nearly choked to death he was laughig so hard. He is now an official Ru/SUe fan

Tulisa talking sense and trying to be kind too, not stick in the knife.

He can't thank us enough...

Ooh, and Dermot has noticed the coat. Maybe he is reading this week.

Love dermot so much "why the coat?"

ha ha Dermot has picked up on the coat! poor NF don't reckon he gets any choice in his outfit, none of them do do they?

Katie why are people still doing fireworks I wonder. There's been millions round here tonight. Sadly they stopped before Nanfucker opened his gob.

Katie - do you live next door to me? It's like New Year's bloomin' eve here!

Was that Wand Erection giving Chowmein a handjob?

God that "look at my wide eyes and modest smile" face.

It's a face I'd never tire of punching.

Evening all

Thank you lovely pier.

He could thank me enough. He'd have to do it with deeds, not words. The deeds would mostly involve fucking the fuck off.

Oohh, Jessie am on bottle three of the Cava haul, here, hold out your glass, I'm pouring during the ads

Good evening GreenEyes

Do you like my Christmas name? No other bugger has noticed it and I'm sulking.

Did you manage to miss Nanfucker?