X Factor - Best of British Week. I think we'll need it.

[RudolphUcker]

Tis I btw, Sue. In Christmas guise.

So it's Dear Old Blighty week. This is a new thing and promises to be second in mawkishness and misplaced patriotism only to the MiliWives screeching Jerusalem at the Pride of Britain awards, wearing GingerSpice outfits, straddling a Gurkha apiece. In bowler hats. that may not have happened but I could see it

The Babyshits are paying tribute to the armed forces, in particular Pretty Shit's brother - who is a Marine fingers crossed for photos

Rylan is doing a mash-up. I am hoping for I Vow To Thee My Country mixed with London Town.

Nothing on the rest. Nanfucker doing 'Grandma, we love you'? Pinhead being angsty and 'urban'? Same old, same old

Oh, and Wand Erection are doing a one-off performance, in a cunning bid to get their entire fan base watching the Baby Shits.

Any predictions?

Yes Recall.

Incidentally why were you asking about fanny farts?

Do you really think Ella R.Ucker?

Please let it be Nanfucker

I've just turned over to the Festival of Rememberance and the Military Wives are singing.

Nighty night.Going to try to stay awake for Wossy. Boycotted last week due to the presence of Frankie Boyle

I dunno re Ella. I thought it was wobbly and tedious but I am not her fan base type, am I? But the girls vote for the boys, so who will be voting for Ella?
Deffo nanfucker though. Please.

Night all

I missed most of that as I was piss arsing about cleaning. on a Saturday night.
I don't know why, I've stopped now.

Who was good and who was shit?

I can't see Ella going at all R.Ucker Or Chowmein. I think it'll be One Direction. :)

MsElle, are they doing Jerusalem on Gurkhas, as per my OP?
Please say yes.

No RUdolph, they were screeching something about dreams!

It HAS to be Nanfucker, he is AWFUL in everywhich way.

If there's any justice it'll be Nanfucker and Rylan.
I have an increasing fondness for Chowmein, he's my Will from Pop Idol.
I might even vote for him.

GOD but I hate them too. I'm sure they're nice women as individuals, but en masse, and vocally...
Shouldn't be allowed.

well msellietow i knew a girl who could do it years ago, and i forgot about it until last night when I had a go, and I couldn't do it. Would really like to be able to. There is a girl who shows you how on , but not enough instructions.

Night all.
As per, far better than the scheduled programme; honourable mention to R. Ucker.

'I'm in love wit yoo..

The way you roll off your Spanx at night... The way you pluck your nipple hairs, that's right...yeah'

Night all

and bid you good night.

Is nanfucker christopher?
Please enlighten me.

ooo girl, the the shadow on your upper lip
I'm so in love widchoo
the tinge in your minge...of grey
it makes me want you too...

ooo, Damien Lewis on Wossy. I have a new crush on him

Sadly, Katharine Jenkins is on Wossy- which is putting me off a touch.

No, stay for Damien
I have a proper pervy crush, me.

he is luffly.

I'm off to watch the Festival of Remebrance, and blub like a baby. Rod Stewart's singing now!

See you all tomorrow.

Does anyone know why DANNY BAKER is on there at all?

He was the chat show emergency stand in, in 1996.

He's been binned from the beeb and is all cross about it.