X Factor - Best of British Week. I think we'll need it.

[RudolphUcker]

Tis I btw, Sue. In Christmas guise.

So it's Dear Old Blighty week. This is a new thing and promises to be second in mawkishness and misplaced patriotism only to the MiliWives screeching Jerusalem at the Pride of Britain awards, wearing GingerSpice outfits, straddling a Gurkha apiece. In bowler hats. that may not have happened but I could see it

The Babyshits are paying tribute to the armed forces, in particular Pretty Shit's brother - who is a Marine fingers crossed for photos

Rylan is doing a mash-up. I am hoping for I Vow To Thee My Country mixed with London Town.

Nothing on the rest. Nanfucker doing 'Grandma, we love you'? Pinhead being angsty and 'urban'? Same old, same old

Oh, and Wand Erection are doing a one-off performance, in a cunning bid to get their entire fan base watching the Baby Shits.

Any predictions?

Dubstep is the trigger word for Dullisa's hypnotism for weightloss. It makes her put both hands in the air and do a chin-jut.
Keep saying it, or add 'urban' and she star-jumps.

Paul McKenna did it, lovely job.

So- 20minutes of the Wandies?? or 15 minutes of ads, and then the Wandies?

I believe he's out on bail for it Rudolph

Stools!

I liked James pinhead. He offends mine eyes but I like listening to his voice.
I liked the dubstep too

Bloody hell, they've gone Westlife-y too!

I bet matt the hat is throwing chips at the telly.

More stools! Hurrah!
Let's have a nice stand at the key change, boys.

Ooh a Mallen Streak

The one with the blonde flash is soooo pretty

Anyone I know who professes to be cool likes James.
I too think "squashed squirrel"
well I do now that Rudolph has pointed it out.

Poor Liam. His shaved head is awful. Pesky headlice.

Badger haired twat

To be fair, they can sing.

i used to have dimples in my back at the bottom of my spine until they got lost in my back fat

You can't go to bed without a cup of tea. Maybe that's why you talk in your sleep? That's not weird. Much!

a stand and a walk forward

So who are they going to say they are voting for (Wand)? I reckon Union J, or Ella, because they all like an older woman...

This is actually a lovely song

We could have a proper Sharks and Jets fightoff with Wandies and Babyshits. QuiffyWandy vs QuiffyShit. PrettyWandieHarry with PrettyShit. Beautifully matched. I see finger clicking and crouchy walking.

As an aside, HOW MUCH is this song aimed at ageing women? It's pure cougar-bait. Beware the gin-trap, ladies. It stings.

This song is written by Ed Sheeran.. Ed you massively sold out!

James looks like scrat of ice age fame.

They may be annoying, but got to agree, better than any of tonight's shite

I've got dimples in the bottom of my back. You can feel the tips of the bolts that run from my hips if you press hard enough!

I think they'll get booted off this week.

I stand by 'squashed squirrel'. He has the face of a thousand roadkills.