X Factor - Best of British Week. I think we'll need it.

[RudolphUcker]

Tis I btw, Sue. In Christmas guise.

So it's Dear Old Blighty week. This is a new thing and promises to be second in mawkishness and misplaced patriotism only to the MiliWives screeching Jerusalem at the Pride of Britain awards, wearing GingerSpice outfits, straddling a Gurkha apiece. In bowler hats. that may not have happened but I could see it

The Babyshits are paying tribute to the armed forces, in particular Pretty Shit's brother - who is a Marine fingers crossed for photos

Rylan is doing a mash-up. I am hoping for I Vow To Thee My Country mixed with London Town.

Nothing on the rest. Nanfucker doing 'Grandma, we love you'? Pinhead being angsty and 'urban'? Same old, same old

Oh, and Wand Erection are doing a one-off performance, in a cunning bid to get their entire fan base watching the Baby Shits.

Any predictions?

The hair gel is working hard tonight.

DS2 just let out a massive fart and said that's what I think of that!

I think if James was more aesthetically pleasing he would definitively win.

Wtf am I going to do at a Wand Erection concert.

I'm going to have to sit in the bar and get shitfaced aren't I? Yes, yes I am.

Harry needs a new blazer, bless him. He must have had a growth spurt.

To be fair though to Ed Sheeran, I would so sell out if I could write songs like that

Not any more Greeny, you;re the new target audience. You and your wrinkles and cup of tea in bed and shizzle.

Belly laughing at finger clicking and crouchy walking

Raahh Harry's hair looks like he's running sideways through a windtunnel.

Fucking cougar bait

District 3 and nanfucker in the bottom 2?

Nanfucker and Rylan hopefully Jessie.

jessie- it does

I just know that on Monday I will be walking somewhere in public but on my own and think of finger clicking and crouch walking and start laughing like a twat

I do like to take a cup of tea to bed that's true.

If they add on another verse about making a phn-err sound when I bend over, and losing my specs on top of my head, I'm sold.

I think nanfucker and either Chowmein or Ella are in trouble.

I cannot see the groups going. Or Pinhead.

Always a bit when I see the wandies. Dh loves to tell the story of how he saw Harry in the butchers before he went off to film judges houses. This is why I have now had to retire to the bedroom to watch the end of xfactor, so that I don't have to hear the same tale for the 857 th time .

Well thank the lord that's over. See you tomorrow. Good night all. Sleep tight.

Rylan def gone this week.

Is nanfucker that scouse bloke who shakes ?

I quite like that James Arthur isn't stereotypically good looking.... Adds to his charm. I want him to win.

Thassit, Greeny.

oooo, girl, I love the way you OOF when you get up. i love all your chins.
oooooo, baby, the way you turn sideways to check the pot belly. Oh yeah.

Rylan and Nanfucker bottom two, I reckon.

it was all pretty poor.
I need Nanfucker to go. And Rylan.

Probably won't be either of them though

How old are the wandies? I'm trying to figure out just how wrong it is that they make me come over all unnecessary especially the one with the facial hair. Facial hair means he's at least past puberty, right?