Intimate bleaching

[DecemberWisper]

Exactly that really

Has anyone had this done professionally?

I have brought a DIY cream but having no luck with it.

Sorry for TMI... ! Just interested.

Thanks x

The comments on this thread are hilarious.

OP were you meaning you wanted to bleach your vulva or bumble?

I'm presuming mines is broon ombre and I'm okay with that. Can you not just pretend yours is the colour you want it to be then not not entertain it again.

Your bumble 😂😂 that was meant to be bumhole 😂

There was a previous thread about anal bleaching where a poster hilariously rewrote the lyrics to “A Whiter Shade of Pale”!

It still makes me laugh. Have a look - it might be in Classics. It certainly ought to be, the whole thread was hysterical.

@ MrsGolightyly sadly not only on mumsnet!
Intimate rejuvenation is a heavily googled term for a much requested service, it seems.
And I must admit, this new knowledge that there are so many rejuvenated fannies out there is giving me a complex.

Is American Tan an option. Could match up with a pair of tights for full style and coordination....

@Scbchl I genuinely thought it was a euphemism I hadn't heard before!

You lot are hilarious. I’ve just spat my tea out and DH is trying to watch top gear and shushing me.

Please OP do not bleach your a hole! I am so sick of women feeling the need to be hair free and now a perfect pink so as not to offend a man. FFS think about it!!!!!!

No woman ever needs to feel self conscious in bed with a man who has a pimply, wrinkly scrotum swinging in the breeze.

Not bum but i would like a lightening cream for underarms, my skin has darkened there over the years, not sure why, exfoliating doesn't do anything to help. I feel very self conscious in strappy tops so i don't raise my arms much.

Perhaps a marketing opportunity here for Farrow and Ball, or Little Greene? A new tonal shade range:
Bumble Blanche
Arsehole Blush

And here's me, thinking you wanted to bleach your pubes.

I’m starting to yearn for my DGM’s era . She had 7 DC but claims she never saw her DH naked .

@timeforawine well... this evenings research has taught me that this is very common and easily rectified with home kits. Don’t suffer any longer!

@ don't use colgate it stings like a bastard,
Ah yes burning ring of fire comes to mind or of course the ring of confidence

The replies on this thread have had me in stitches. Glad I read this needed the laugh.

Greenpop21 That is so funny! Amongst a lot of other funny responses! 🤣🤣🤣🖌

Use toothpaste but not one with a blue tinge else your arsehole will look like a smurfs.

Will signal toothpaste leaving it looking like the inside of a big top circus tent?

bumble

😂😂😂

There’s the perfect colour on the new Farrow & Ball, shades of nature, it’s between broccoli brown and skimmed milk. It’s called It’s an arsehole and so’s the bloke who tells you otherwise

I can almost guarantee that any bloke you are sleeping with will just be over the moon you're willing to do anal,he's certainly not going to complain it's the wrong colour and IF he does why on earth would you want to have sex with him?

Dear God, I'm just waiting for posters to say they do it 'because it feels cleaner' and there's definitely no influence from porn

I want to know how you know what colour your arse hole is?? Some sort of contortions with a mirror perhaps? I had a colonoscopy and the man with the camera said I had a 'lovely pink bowel'. Should I be proud?

Now, where did I put my Pink Floyd album......

I hope he gave you a sticker on the way out Dhal