Cost of living- DSC edition

[buzzbuzzybuzz]

I am annoyed. DH has decided we need to cut back on our energy use and spending. And I agree. However I suggest things like - limit all showers to 5 minutes if washing hair, 4 if not and I just get "but the DSC aren't here very often they don't use much". They do. They charge all their devices, 2 tablets, 2 phones, a smart watch. They watch netflix and "can't take it in turns" tough, 1 screen is all we need They can learn to share.

Then tonight, the final straw, I have some money put aside to take my DC out to a local attraction, nothing big, we aren't talking disney land here people, but I want to go. And I get "oh but I always wanted to take the DSC there" WELL TOUGH I want to scream, you haven't, you've had 5+ years to take them and you haven't. So either I'm taking DC by myself or you can come. I'm not paying twice the cost for the DSC.

Apologies for the slightly incoherent rant, I have tried to edit it to tidy it up a bit.

Yes I've been corrected on charging I see now I was worried about nothing much there

How old are they? Do you like them at all?

So they’ll never be allowed a treat or to watch TV upstairs? Not even twice a month? Not when they’re older either? Or a 10 minute shower. No, ‘they can eat fruit.’

As for ‘twenty minute shower sessions’ that still works out very well considering they’re only staying with you four nights a month.

Yes this is why I'm getting annoyed tbh. Like are we going to cut back on the fancy snacks and everything like that when they are here? If not why not? They can eat fruit. I haven't even addressed that one yet. But if we all have to cut back they should be included in that, there's no point trying to make sure they aren't affected if the rest of us are cutting back.

Agree with this.

If as a family you are cutting back generally then that is 24/7. Bit just when they DSC aren't there.

Glad you're reassured about the charging issue though. I'd park that battle and focus on the one about everyone being equal when DSC are there. They are after all part of the family. M

I'd be tempted to say something to DH along the lines of it being a shame he sees his children as guests rather than family!

Of course they can charge them but not overnight. We need to save the energy

It's always worth working out what it actually costs to run or charge something overnight, before setting draconian rules that it 'can't be afforded'.

It sounds like you’re cutting back on all sorts of thing as a household. So The rules apply to all.

The ‘I’ve been meaning to take DSC’ comment is hugely irritating if he’s never mentioned it before and never bothered to follow up.

I take it they're teens? Teens need to be parented different to toddlers. In a house that permanently homes both teens and toddlers, it is quite normal for there to be different rules for the older children.

Nice

Good shout. Or maybe I could start having really long showers too as we're all equals and not guests. But then that would cost more.

Are you not allowed a 20 minute shower every other weekend? Maybe you could cut back in other areas to afford this?

Depends on energy bills doesn't it. And no TV upstairs.

What did you not understand?

I am allowed. But we are considering what guidelines we need to introduce for various things in order to cut down on costs. 1 20 minute shower is 5 4 minute showers

Just seen this. I don’t normally take long showers but that’s how long it takes me to wash my hair. I have dandruff so use a special shampoo that’s leave in for 3 minutes then it’s another 3 mins for conditioner. I only wash my hair once a week though due to my hair type.

So what’s the issue with them watching TV on different screens? Why do you have more than one TV if you can’t afford to use two at the same time? Or is it them watching Netflix on their own iPads, in which case how is this costing you a lot?

It seems like you just want to make sure your SC don’t get any treats or enjoy themselves. Which is a bit miserable. And let’s face it, all this ‘we’re all in the family so should all be doing xyz’ yeah but they aren’t, are they? They only stay two weekends a month. If you can’t eat any treats or charge your iPad or have a shower any longer than 5 minutes that’s utterly miserable and will make them feel unwanted and depressed. Unless of course you literally never buy any snacks but fruit and never ever charge anything or have a shower or bath longer than 5 mins.

Which is still a very small amount considering they’re only doing it four times a month!

i was replying to your first paragraph. And I’m referring specifically to you mentioning washing hair, and allowing a whole extra minute for that. I was saying that it takes me the whole 5 minutes you’re suggesting just to wash my hair, I think it’s ridiculous

We don't have 2 tvs. They like to watch netflix at the same time. This means we have to get the more expensive package for the sake of 2 weekends a month.

Ok but they don't have your hair so I know it can be done in 5 minutes.

It seems like you just want to make sure your SC don’t get any treats or enjoy themselves.

This is the whole vibe of the post.

It's not. It's 8 times there's two of them

Eight times a month is a tiny amount of showers to pay for your child. Ridiculous.

You're being absolutely ridiculous.

5 minutes is not long for a shower, especially if you're a woman with long hair.

These kids already have to put up with splitting their time over two separate homes, and having a long shower or nice snacks probably provides them a bit of comfort.

You seem dead set on the idea that whatever you have to do, they need to do too. Just let them be teens, I doubt you'd treat your own DC this way. You don't seem to like them at all and I feel quite sorry for them.

I feel sorry for them too.

FWIW I’ve never had a 5 minute shower and it’ll be a cold day in hell before I do.

Right but we have to save money somehow. Otherwise we have to look at cutting back whatever else we can, music lessons? May be it doesn't have to be as hard a rule as it seems but more of a target. And maybe one "nice" snack a day.