Cost of living- DSC edition

[buzzbuzzybuzz]

I am annoyed. DH has decided we need to cut back on our energy use and spending. And I agree. However I suggest things like - limit all showers to 5 minutes if washing hair, 4 if not and I just get "but the DSC aren't here very often they don't use much". They do. They charge all their devices, 2 tablets, 2 phones, a smart watch. They watch netflix and "can't take it in turns" tough, 1 screen is all we need They can learn to share.

Then tonight, the final straw, I have some money put aside to take my DC out to a local attraction, nothing big, we aren't talking disney land here people, but I want to go. And I get "oh but I always wanted to take the DSC there" WELL TOUGH I want to scream, you haven't, you've had 5+ years to take them and you haven't. So either I'm taking DC by myself or you can come. I'm not paying twice the cost for the DSC.

Apologies for the slightly incoherent rant, I have tried to edit it to tidy it up a bit.

If your finances are separate it's grand for you to take your baby on the outing without dsc of course.
But I think it's a bit tight to tell them they can't charge their phones and gadgets, it's their home for part of the time, seems a bit draconian.

What pot did the money you put aside come from?

Your own personal spends? His CB? Or family money.

If it's family money then that also is there for dscs as family.

Plus their charging is normal.

Of course they can charge them but not overnight. We need to save the energy

My wages, left over from what I put into the joint account, so yes my "personal spends" which is usually for extra things for our shared DC tbh.

charging phones and ipads is really cheap actually - certainly not anything to worry about, even by the increased electricity costs.

And the only answer to "I always wanted to take DSC there" is "why didn't you then?"

Is it? Thats great thank you that's one issue solved. I was worried about them being charged all night for no reason. I always unplug mine anyway coz every so often you hear of a battery exploding

Yes, even by todays horrendous standards its still not more than £5 a year to charge an iphone daily.

With the new costs to charge a phone will be around 0.2p an hour so 1p every 5 hours. Which is less than 5p a day so I think you are worrying unnecessarily on the charging front

Thank you feel reassued re charging :)

I think the issue sounds more like your DH’s attitude that things need to be cut back because of the increased cost of living - except for the SC. It’s just everyone else who needs to cut back.

That and the classic NRP move where you are not allowed to use your own money to take your DC somewhere because he hasn’t bothered to save to take the SC there.

It’s the NRP animal farm model of stepfamilies: everyone is equal, but SC are more equal. It’s extremely frustrating and breeds resentment.

You sound delightful. It takes me 5 minutes to wash my hair alone by the time you count in leaving in special shampoo (dandruff) and the conditioner.

There's being careful with money and then there's being miserly.

I'm sorry, What?

Presumably things are pretty tight for the OP is this is the kind of thing that cutting back spending looks like though. Maybe it’s less miserly and more finding a way to get by.

Ah, I get it now, you're referring to the hairwashing comment the OP made. Apologies. However, 5 minutes is plenty of time for a shower IMO.

What is DP suggesting cutting back on - has he made any concrete suggestions?

Yes this is why I'm getting annoyed tbh. Like are we going to cut back on the fancy snacks and everything like that when they are here? If not why not? They can eat fruit. I haven't even addressed that one yet. But if we all have to cut back they should be included in that, there's no point trying to make sure they aren't affected if the rest of us are cutting back.

There's a whole thread in cost of living on the length of time needed for a shower. This is more about the DSD somehow being excluded from having to cur back.

What type of fancy snacks? Obviously if you’re struggling for money kettle chips and posh chocolate will have to go, but ‘they can eat fruit?’ What does that mean, that there will never be any treats provided for any of the children?

As for not allowed to watch telly, how will that work? If they all have iPads they may as well watch Netflix on their separate devices. I think the issue here is that it all sounds a bit punitive rather than a ‘we’re all pulling together’ type of thing.

It would also depend to me on how often they are over - if it’s an EOW thing then it’s different to if it’s 50/50.

Honestly,and I have no idea,how much does a shower cost per minute

Every other weekend apart from the holidays when it's 50/50

Right well that obviously changes things massively. He’s giving his children fancy snacks twice a month. Will your child never be allowed any fancy snacks? Will they never ever be allowed a shower longer than 5 mins? They’ll never be allowed to watch TV upstairs while you watch downstairs?

It seems like this isn’t really about money - it’s about you wanting to make sure the SC are forced to abide by the new money saving ways, but realistically do you never have two TVs on? Are you so on the breadline that charging an iPad and having a 10 minute shower twice a month is a huge issue? I doubt that.

No because my DC is a toddler

My wages, left over from what I put into the joint account, so yes my "personal spends" which is usually for extra things for our shared DC tbh.

That seems fair enough to me then.

Still don't agree with the charging but that's easily sorted. Put into charge before bed, unplugged and gathered up int the morning.

It seems like this isn’t really about money - it’s about you wanting to make sure the SC are forced to abide by the new money saving ways it's the same thing! If we're all being careful and saving money it's a bit in your face for the DSC to be allowed to have one of their 20-30 minute shower sessions!!