I am feeling hurt and upset and seeking advice. I have two stepdaughters who we see EOW. It's been a bit rocky, their mum unfortunately does not help matters which I think is sad. My partner went to collect them from school Friday and messaged me saying 'xxx is upset and feels you don't like her and xxx because you are quiet around them and seem off with everyone.' I do accept I am often quiet but I am working long weeks and with two kids at home. I am so tired, and have last week finally had blood tests taken to establish if it's my B12 again as I physically struggle to get out of bed durn the day. I also remain quiet because I would tell them off for things like hitting their baby brother, or chewing and talking with their mouths open or general misbehaviour. My partner did not like this because he felt we shouldn't be the ones to constantly discipline when they don't live with us. So I have found being quiet is just easier.
On our way home I tried talking to him and he said it doesn't matter we will just forget it. (Already argued about the ex wife at this point) I don't really know what I can suggest.
We only got to visit them for 2 hours as it was their school disco and the ex wife didn't tell us until we collected from school, whilst we also had her messaging saying he was to pay for the school disco tickets as it's 'the least he can do.' She did the same a few weeks previous when he took the eldest to her club that she hasn't paid the £100 bill that term and he needed to when he dropped her off. He of course refused. I am just a little sick of feeling like she manipulates their visits into getting more money out of dad. The last of our change he ended up using for their school disco tickets so I have had to now beg money from my mum to buy milk until pay day next week for our son (we are in the processing of sorting our tax credits out so living of little wages and just paid the csa.) and he knew this.
Then got onto the subject of Christmas. I am buying for the kids who live with us and my family, and he is buying for the stepdaughters and his family. I have finished mine and he hasn't started. He's asked what I have spent and I have said I don't really feel it matters but a whole row started about how it's just a way of spending more on our resident kids. And because we have spent more on the eldest resident child birthday as we have presents but also taking to a musical instead of having a party. I am just tired of feeling I can't treat my children in fear of him having a go at me, because when the ex wife finds out through idol gossip he never hears the end of it.
Why does it all just have to feel so difficult.