Ex partners and step daughters money

[Lovelife12345]

I am feeling hurt and upset and seeking advice. I have two stepdaughters who we see EOW. It's been a bit rocky, their mum unfortunately does not help matters which I think is sad. My partner went to collect them from school Friday and messaged me saying 'xxx is upset and feels you don't like her and xxx because you are quiet around them and seem off with everyone.' I do accept I am often quiet but I am working long weeks and with two kids at home. I am so tired, and have last week finally had blood tests taken to establish if it's my B12 again as I physically struggle to get out of bed durn the day. I also remain quiet because I would tell them off for things like hitting their baby brother, or chewing and talking with their mouths open or general misbehaviour. My partner did not like this because he felt we shouldn't be the ones to constantly discipline when they don't live with us. So I have found being quiet is just easier.

On our way home I tried talking to him and he said it doesn't matter we will just forget it. (Already argued about the ex wife at this point) I don't really know what I can suggest.

We only got to visit them for 2 hours as it was their school disco and the ex wife didn't tell us until we collected from school, whilst we also had her messaging saying he was to pay for the school disco tickets as it's 'the least he can do.' She did the same a few weeks previous when he took the eldest to her club that she hasn't paid the £100 bill that term and he needed to when he dropped her off. He of course refused. I am just a little sick of feeling like she manipulates their visits into getting more money out of dad. The last of our change he ended up using for their school disco tickets so I have had to now beg money from my mum to buy milk until pay day next week for our son (we are in the processing of sorting our tax credits out so living of little wages and just paid the csa.) and he knew this.

Then got onto the subject of Christmas. I am buying for the kids who live with us and my family, and he is buying for the stepdaughters and his family. I have finished mine and he hasn't started. He's asked what I have spent and I have said I don't really feel it matters but a whole row started about how it's just a way of spending more on our resident kids. And because we have spent more on the eldest resident child birthday as we have presents but also taking to a musical instead of having a party. I am just tired of feeling I can't treat my children in fear of him having a go at me, because when the ex wife finds out through idol gossip he never hears the end of it.

Why does it all just have to feel so difficult.

and that's before we even get to the useless sperminator at the heart of this making up injuries to avoid visiting the two children he moved 2 hours away from and taking a 5 month sabbatical to play x box and drink pop.

Forgot the fact he gambles all the family too

Gambles the families money*

but no no, the reason they have no money is because he had to buy his child a ticket to her school disco.

It is such a hard life being a step parent nobody understanfs how much hard work it takes to be so utterly selfish OP.

I mean it takes a lot of time thinking of new ways to fuck with the ex-wife and stepdaughter lives.

Just remember OP you reap what you sow!

I think the mistake was the op gave them a cupboard that was too big, if it was smaller the girls would be less entitled. It may have even means the boys could have a climbing frame each on the landing.

One has the slide and one the call pit they don't have one each! Both bought for my first son but have moved the call out into our babies room. They won't be having a bouncy castle as we don't have a garden 😂😂 and actually we will be getting rid of his bed and having to get a different bed as we will need to put the boys into a room together. We are being evicted as the house is being sold as he can't afford the mortgage on two homes, we have had to apply for council housing and they will only give us two bedrooms. There is no private rental around here and we don't have the £1000 for agency fees.

The daughter now has her bloody adult meals but she understand she can't upgrade everything and go for the most expensive stuff she is slowly appreciating the cost of things. Ex wife had apologised tonight for kicking off about Peppa Pig world after realising my partner didn't go. Sonthats somethint

The daughter now has her bloody adult meals but she understand she can't upgrade everything and go for the most expensive stuff she is slowly appreciating the cost of things

You’re a fucking arsehole!

I'm just responding not about her in a nasty way just as everyone is going on about a macondalds that's why I called it a 'bloody adult neal' in response to everyone getting so touchy about it. Most of our friends kids still have happy meals and their kids have happy with it so don't see the issue

she is slowly appreciating the cost of things.

Excellent. Maybe she could teach her father. e.g the true cost of raising his kids?

She will soon be able to add up how much her dad fritters away on shit while she can't have new school shoes. He could trade in a bottle of pop for her meal upgrade!

She’s getting older of course a happy meal isn’t going to fill her bloody hell my 5 year old has a happy meal. She’s what 11/12!

She is asking for a slighly bigger burger not a fillet steak.
Why doesn't her dad swap his meal for her happy meal, he will likely enjoy the toy more going by his childish behaviour.

It seems like it's you and your partner who don't appreciate the cost of things. Blowing money on nonsense and leaving yourselves 50p in your purse, constant trips and treats but no financial security. Your boyfriend blowing hundreds of pounds on gambling and fizzy drinks but can't afford school shoes. But of course all your woes come from the fact that your stepdaughter wanted a meal that cost an extra £1.50. You're like a pair of teenagers playing with monopoly money.

That's awesome Janet. If the ops story is true, though I suspect it isn't, I'm pretty sure what you just posted will happen.

I would have told you that in person, I tried saying your name, but you didn't appear.

Sorry Snitzel, Wednesday morning 00.30-01.30 is scheduled maintenance and upgrade time, I was installing then. I keep hoping the next upgrade will feature a vagina so I have a port for Jason’s jack.

😂

Yep prev posters are right you just arent v nice people. You treat all kids the same or you dont get with someomne with kids. His daughters have the right to that money, they have a right to be provided for, just like your precious sons do.
Personally i cant wait until your useless excuse for a man gets bored of you. Meets the next mug and she gets impregnated, and as a result decides that you are no longer entitled to his financial support. As much as i would like you to get a taste of your own medicine, that would mean your kids suffering too so unfortunately i hope you mever have to experience the pain and frustraion of watching the new gf treating your kids like 2nd rate citezens, as you do to them girls.

I haven’t read all recent posts, but from the comments I don’t see OP is doing anything wrong.
Cafe and restaurants are not essentials. The Op and her own family don’t have to buy anything for those kids. It is strange that they are compared to her own children. She just wants the best for the boys. Why do they have to be deprived ?!
And 11 y.o. demanding an adult meal ... what a spoilt and demanding kid !
People, stop accusing Op of trying to do the best for her children. It sounds ridiculous. She shouldnt treat them the same; those girls have their own mother.

Hello op

@JanetLovesJason in what world do you think he would be allowed to ever keep our son if he went off with someone else. I would never allow it. And courts very rarely give dads the kids. Also I very much doubt he would be bored... he has been a stay at home dad for the first 6 years of his eldest life so and loved every second and never had an affair. I took the job on he would have some money to be able to get a new Xbox game or to trade his old one in and pay the difference. I really don't feel that you can even suggest that though because actually we never had an affair, we never got together so he could deliberately work less however he is supporting me in taking the position. He doesn't go to baby groups as, like me and I would rather a nursery he goes to, cannot stand the other woman who are complaining as their benefits get cut whilst neither her or her parent work (it's common where we live.) and the kids behaviour is not something I want around mine.

We are not arguing about her having a Big Mac or a chicken wrap or chicken burger etc our issue is that she will want the iced drinks at £1.89 a pop and then also to upgrade to the burgers of the month, large at £6.89.. plus then wants ice cream etc after we have paid lots to visit them and getting dinner every time is expensive. I suggested a picnic last time we saw them and that I would do one for this week and they both turned their nose up and said they would rather Mac Donald's. So I tried. His mum is retiring next week and sounds like we will be having dinner with her the Fridays as she wants the company and means we spend more time with her when we only go up EOW. Plus what we save on macdonalds can go into the pot to occasionally drive up extra.

The ex wife told them about the holiday we are going on next year so we are battling that conversation this week although on the phone they sounded ok. And why she told them is beyond us. But he doesn't gamble he has stopped gambling he doesn't even have a bank account! Secondly as mentioned previous he doesn't even drink fizzy drinks not w

This is great, please keep the posts coming. Just remember in the real world stay at home dad's can get the majority of access, it's to keep the children's lives consistent. Your "son" may someone's step child.