Who the jiggetytit is Luke?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

I had a very pleasant email from him earlier.

SIOB!

How dare you employ new staff without parading them in feont of the proles?

Standards are aslipping.

Actually, who's with me to firm a Yuman Barricade to protect him from HullyGully?

He is the Mystery Engine.

So, what do I do with the chain I've got in my kitchen drawer then Honey?

Well, if you have to ask, Nutella....

Ah, you want to borrow it then Tee?

Well....um.....

whaaaaaaa? a man MN? The world has gone kerayzeee

But people......
What we should be asking is WHY WAS HE EMAILING CHAOS?

What? She's getting to update the spreadsheet?

Has Luke received his introduction to Google training yet?

Skips off to find the brain bleach in anticipation.

Spam. They always put newbies on spam report duty.

Pavlov the secret in the hills...

I do apologise. It's on the brain, what with it being DS' 3rd birthday yesterday . I am thankful it is not him, as that character is fucking annoying.

Well helllllllllllllo

fresh meat

nom nom

@HullyEastergully

Well helllllllllllllo

fresh meat

nom nom

Now now...

Did Luke's Welcome To Mumsnet pack come with pepper spray and a taser?

I'm still so bruised after Little Daz's cruel deception that Luke will have to try very hard to win my tender heart.

Booze helps, Luke. I like a nice red.

I can't believe MNHQ would launch a poor, wee boy out on the board with no way to defend himself. That's bad parenting right there.

When Pattikins started he came out to play for a bit but Pinot frightened him off and he went to hide in the loo with that cruel Daz.

Does Luke like Zombies?

Zombie will be happy to take him under her wing until he's settled in.

@BookieMonster

Did Luke's Welcome To Mumsnet pack come with pepper spray and a taser?

No, but he did ask if he needed to bring a flak jacket

Tell him to slip into something more comfortable and pop out to say hello.

Zombie, I forgot to tell you; an arm fell off in your sleep so I replaced it with a wing. I think it suits.

Is Luke going to brave the boards soon?

My mum would get out the Holy Water for him. I could run the tap and hope for the best?

Luke, dude. Be cool. Ice cool...

Do you like boiled eggs at all, Luke?