Date tried to put a hood on me during sex

[solosunflowers]

I've been trying to date and honestly not had the best time so far.

I don't get a lot of free time because I'm a solo parent to my son.
So I went on a date recently. It was a low pressure walk (my suggestion). It went really well and we hit it off a lot better than expected. The only thing was that he made reference to being interested in the D/s dynamic. Can't remember how the conversation came up. I didn't make much of it because that is something I can enjoy, but didn't want to discuss at that point.

So second date we were at his house. He kisses me and things get heated. We're about to have sex and he gets about a hood to put over my head. Apparently one of his fantasies. I said no.

This doesn't sound like a man who's looking for a relationship, right?

Ditch this one OP. You're not sexually compatible.

Oh god. It sounds dreadful, are you ok? It doesn't matter whether he's looking for a relationship or not does it? He's to be avoided at all costs.

Wtf, he sounds dangerous.

Tbh I enjoy lots of things, but that doesn't seem right? First time!

Well, people who like to put hoods on their sexual partners can also want a relationship so I am not sure I would make that assumption.

I would be pretty put out that he didn't think the hood needed a conversation though.

First time without asking in advance is what would bother me.

I agree, he's dangerous. He has no awareness of consent.

Nah, leave this one behind! Who would do that on a first ‘encounter’ he sounds iffy!

That is not the issue. You can't just do this kind of stuff with discussing it first. He sounds unhinged.

How dare he. Whether you have expressed a vague interest in it or not. You’re a human and his date, not at his service to be used to fulfil his kinks. What an utterly disrespectful cunt

obviously i'm naive but what is D/s ?

whatever he sounds dangerous. leave well alone

That's absolutely mental for the second date. Did he speak to you about it first?
He just wants kinky sex, nothing more by the sounds of it.

Ugh freak! Run from this one. I don’t mind a bit of kink with the right man, but this behaviour off the bat with no discussion first time you shag him, no thanks

This!! It was all about him and his wants, you were just there, no care for your thoughts or feelings.

That’s actually very scary. Who does that without a conversation first?!

Jesus do you have to ask? Of course he’s a crazy dangerous man, dump and block.

I know you get a lot of dramatic and hyperbolic replies on here. But I’m honestly not exaggerating when I say if a new partner I was about to have sex with for the first time pulled a hood out to stick over my head, I’d have reported it to the police. What did you even say when it happened, and what was his response?

Bloody hell, run from this nutter!

I'm trying to think back. I believe he did tell me the fantasy of a woman stood there naked with a hood covering. I wasn't expecting him to whip one out.

He's from a well thought of farming family who've been in the area for years. Possibly I had a better opinion of him, than I should have, so early on.

I said no and he got rid of it straight away.

Fuck that
even if it’s something he’s into he could bring it up further into the relationship and ask your feelings on it. Not spring it on you on a second date. That’s really scary

Fucking hell...he's a massive weirdo at best or at worst an absolute danger.

Terrifying..run

Whether he’s relationship material is the least of your worries here. This could have ended so so badly, maybe let it be a lesson in personal safety and not going to strange mens houses on a second date!

Porn addled brain. The more I think about it the more worrying it becomes. This isn’t just a man who has a fantasy he wanted to try out on a new partner. It’s someone so deeply entrenched in his fantasy that he doesn’t see you as a human with your own wants and needs. You were purely there as an object to fulfil his fucked up game.

Yes very true. It's making me do some reflecting.