Date tried to put a hood on me during sex

[solosunflowers]

I've been trying to date and honestly not had the best time so far.

I don't get a lot of free time because I'm a solo parent to my son.
So I went on a date recently. It was a low pressure walk (my suggestion). It went really well and we hit it off a lot better than expected. The only thing was that he made reference to being interested in the D/s dynamic. Can't remember how the conversation came up. I didn't make much of it because that is something I can enjoy, but didn't want to discuss at that point.

So second date we were at his house. He kisses me and things get heated. We're about to have sex and he gets about a hood to put over my head. Apparently one of his fantasies. I said no.

This doesn't sound like a man who's looking for a relationship, right?

I like dom/sub. but what a weirdo x

Run like the wind! He sounds potentially dangerous especially to whip out a hood without a lot of previous discussion and consent. Bit worrying that you don't think so, be very careful OP.

Exactly what I was going to say.

I don’t understand what this has to do with his sexual preferences though. If anything the more prominent the person, the more I’d think there’s a high chance of kinkiness really.

I’d personally ditch him but that’s down to preferences.

WTF? Where do you think murdering lunatics get their ideas from?
Answer: Porn!!

Haven’t you ever read the comments after a bloke’s been caught and prosecuted saying things like “he seemed so ordinary / comes from a nice family / he was always very quiet and polite…”

You really need to be a lot more cautious and careful with your future dates.

He’s from a well-thought-of farming family, you say?
That should be fine then. Nothing to be concerned about.
At least he wasn’t in trade, don’cha know?

I don't believe he's actually dangerous, though. Definitely not. It's about his porn fantasies.

And if he tried this shit with other women who feel less able to stop the situation running beyond their control? Would he be dangerous then do you think?

Honestly op, I don't believe you're so naive that you genuinely think what you're saying is logical.

He may not be dangerous, but he’s entered a sexual situation for a completely different reason to you. It’s not like he’s met you and wants to take this to the next level, like you did, he’s more like ‘oh great I’ve got someone who can help me with my fantasy, here love stick this bag on your head would you’

Eerrr no! Whatever you happen to be into sexually, this is not the way you introduce it into the discussion! And definitely not the first time you have sex!

Serrrialll killllerrrr

Christ you're lucky you didn't end up murdered.

Dating is one thing but don't go to strangers' houses!

You think this is about "compatibility" ?

"He's from a well thought of farming family who've been in the area for years."

So?

Perhaps he's into cattle prods, as well.

I'm also surprised you are asking for opinions.

Of course it's not OK.

Of course you should not see him again.

This - the first time sex straight out with a hood - weirdo for not checking his fetish is ok with you.

Run away fast.

id have left and blocked the guy ! are you actually gonna meet up with him again??? gross

You might be saying that tongue in cheek, but it literally might have escalated to that if he’d have got that hood over the ops head. We don’t know where his ultimate fantasy lies, but if his first move with his first shag with a new partner was to pretend he was abducting her? Who the fuck knows what could have happened if he really got carried away

Hold on- did he ask to put it on you? Or randomly just physically tried to put it on you without asking/showing prompting? If its the latter run for the hills.

He tried to do something to you without asking first.
Absolutely not.

And I'm sure people more experienced than me a will be along shortly to comment on the control/submission aspect to this.

I would have been terrified; he sounds very dangerous. I hope you have blocked him and that he knows nothing about any of your personal circumstances. Not all men but always a man, I despair at times

I agree it's like any old hole will do and pops the bag over OP's head without asking. I hope protection was used, what a grim fucker.

Sexual fantasies/personal kicks of the D/S kind are good to discuss in a relationship but you barely know the guy. In a couple of dates he's told you he wants to put a hood on you.

D/S relationships take a long time to develop and trust is a must. You don't know him, you don't know if he will abuse you. And you can't trust a stranger talking about the most precious thing you have - your safety - for granted.

You may be open to this type of relationship and more power to you. But do it safely and with someone who knows you, respects you as a woman and not just for his own kicks.

Get rid of him.

Bloody weirdo. You’d think you’d be on your best behaviour when you first meet. He really shouldn’t have asked that would be ok.

He is a totally dangerous weirdo at best and a serial killer at worst.

With a hood on your head you literally wouldn't be able to see anything! He sounds like a dangeous man who does not see women as people

He waved an enormous red flag right in your face when he started discussing this on your FIRST DATE. Any guy talking about sex at all on a first date is one to be avoided - unless you're both looking for NSA sex, which clearly isn't the case with you.

There's no judgement from me for when you sleep with someone, but if you want a relationship the kind of men who won't just use you for sex are not the ones who want to know your favourite position 10 minutes into a walk through the park.