Would you date someone who does not drive

[Dancemom1]

Would it put you off from dating someone if you found out they didn’t drive?
after a nice first date with a man (40)
i found out he didn’t drive.
i do drive myself and couldn’t be without my car as i have w busy life with kids.
he has no kids so its a bit different.
he also lives around a 20 min drive away.

Nope!

Of course. Presumably he's more than capable of getting where he needs to be without a car? I think the better question would be is he a suitable partner if he has no experience of children and you have kids young enough to need ferrying around?

No chance.

Noway.

it would depend why, where you live, how he acts, and on whether I felt I’d end up being chauffeur. Where do you live? Central London, Edinburgh, Manchester ect where public transport is good, or in the sticks? Does he scrounge lifts or sort himself out. Not necessarily an issue, but his behaviour around it could be.

Personally, no, because I don't drive myself! In your place I'd definitely want to have a conversation about it, but please don't extrapolate not driving to undesirable character traits without doing so. There are lots of reasons not to drive, some of them understandable to you and others likely not, and it might not be a problem for your relationship - or it might. You won't know until you talk about it, and possibly try it.

ETA realised on reading other responses that your thread title, and your opening sentence, give opposite meanings to the yes/no answers people give! My no is "no, it wouldn't put me off", of course.

Is he manly and strong in every other way?

If he was like 6ft and looked like hozier, i'd look past it as long as he was willing to learn!

Also, where do you live? If youre in central london, and he has plenty of money to taxi you around, it isnt the worst thing in the world.

If teenagers are driving past him, calling him a bus wanker, as he sits waiting for the bus in Skipton on Thames, then no

😩😩😩 me typing this

No. A capable adult will realise he needs to be able to drive himself around - obviously assuming no medical issue.

Yes, I’m married to a man who doesn’t drive. It’s not an issue.

Why? I can drive, but I could easily live my life without needing to bother.

A capable adult needs to GET themselves around, without making a fuss or relying on others. Whether that’s taxi, driving, cycling, public transport or private jets doesn’t really matter.

If holding a driving licence is that important you probably shouldn't be dating.

As someone whose husband isn’t allowed to drive due to a disability, I wouldn’t date someone who chose not to drive. Being the only driver is a pain, and I wouldn’t want to be in a serious relationship with someone who voluntarily put all that onto their partner. Every holiday, every day out, every meal out, it would drive me mad to have them choosing to sit in the passenger sit every time.

I had this with my last partner. He was capable of getting himself around locally but if we wanted to go anywhere, I had to drive there… and then back again.

I was fine with it for a couple of years; then I wasn’t and it became a major issue (along with a lot of other things).

So, yes, I’d not really want to date someone else who didn’t drive as it gets pretty onerous.

Nope, I live rurally and depend on my car to get everywhere! Also wouldn’t want to run the risk of becoming someone’s defacto chauffeur (I’ve seen this happen more than once with friends with non driving partners)

I would say not, if it's 20 miles. It would get too complicated later on

Works both ways round, of course, too. As a non-driver I wouldn't want to date someone whose idea of getting around was always driving, because I don't like being in cars and wouldn't want to spend every holiday etc. in the passenger seat, any more than many drivers would like that situation. Maybe think about how you feel about holidays, dates etc. that are reached by public transport, walking, cycling, taxis, whatever the other person does. Compromise may be needed!

I would if I really really liked him and there was a medical reason (or similar) that he couldn't drive.

otherwise no. I live in the US where learning to drive is pretty much a rite of passage to adulthood (mind you I think it is cheaper and often offered in high school) so can't imagine someone just not bothering. Maybe if he was a 4th generation new yorker ...

Deal breaker for me - every wedding you’ll be designated driver, every longer journey for a day out or holiday or whatever you’re driving, you will be asked for lifts and to come to him more as it’s easier and cheaper as you drive.

Nope. I'm not someone's convenient chauffeur.

That said, my husband had chemo fog and I drove him during that time.

Of course. I don't understand the obsession with driving.

Yes - if he’s great in other ways then why would not driving be a deal breaker? There are thousands of capable adults that don’t drive and get around using public transport.

Yes, it's not an issue for me at all

It’s an Ick from me …

Do you not realise that very very many people manage to live normal and fulfilling lives WITHOUT driving ? There are other forms of transport available apart from cars you know?