Would you date someone who does not drive

[Dancemom1]

Would it put you off from dating someone if you found out they didn’t drive?
after a nice first date with a man (40)
i found out he didn’t drive.
i do drive myself and couldn’t be without my car as i have w busy life with kids.
he has no kids so its a bit different.
he also lives around a 20 min drive away.

Nope I wouldn’t. You really need a car where I live, it’s not a walkable place and public transport is terrible.

Thanks all, such a mix in response and sone funny replies.
im just wondering how to bring it up!
he works and says he gets by, and lived abroad for 10 years so never took lessons.
Ive drove the past 18 years, still dont like the motorway though. But never known or dated a man who hasnt drove.

Agree!

no

Personally, no. I like to hillwalk, mountain bike, camp and take van trips into remote places. If he can't drive he hasn't been doing any of that and unless I'm always the driver, he's not going to be doing any of it in the future.
He's not the one for me.

I wouldn’t particularly write someone off altogether if they didn’t drive, but I would definitely find it offputting.

Easy, we never plan a 5-6 hour drive on holiday. We also factor in overnight stays so me always being the designated driver doesn't get annoying.

I did and ended up being an unpaid cauffeur so never again.my dsis in his forties and doesnt drive. Ive now refused all lifts. Im not hid bloody chauffeur either.

Absolutely not. But I live in the middle of nowhere with no buses or any public transport. I may think differently if I lived in say, central London.

My husband can’t drive, it causes the same issues in our relationship that a lack of pilots license causes.

If there were a medical reason he couldn’t drive then fine, no issue. Otherwise hard no from me. I don’t like driving and certainly would not be up for more than my fair share (my DH does 95% of driving when we are both in the car - my contribution is driving back home if he has had a drink). I consider it an adult life skill to be able to drive even if you choose not to own a car.

I once drove from the north of Scotland to the south of Cornwall while my ex slept in the passenger seat. This kind of thing was typical and I got really sick of it. Also driving DS round bloody Wales to look at houses to buy when I was in agony waiting for a hip replacement. Ive had enough now and Ive refused all and every lifts. Im sick of it.

Bloody hell. Yes of course. I had a boyfriend who couldn’t drive for three years and he was hot as hell and a beast in the sack, which mattered infinitely more.

Depends
i know wildly successful folks living in London who have licences and technically do drive but don’t have a car

in big cities you can get away with it

where I live - just outside a major city, it would probably but not certainly be a dealbreaker

why? If it’s for genuine medical reasons I’d get it. If not, it would be a big red flag

No

I don’t drive and yes, I would date me.

I have traveled the world and have lived in another country for more than 25 years and yet i can’t drive. DD cycled to school, and now cycles 14 km daily to and from Uni (come rain or shine).

Im off to London on Thursday and you’ve guessed it, I won’t be driving.

Why so? Didn't realise the capable adult handbook had should know how to drive in it.

Good for you. DH and I have trips where we have 5-6 hours driving trips, and quite a lot longer quite regularly. We like to explore and travel, and not be restricted by only one of us being able to drive. Very life limiting. I would find it very restrictive and tedious.

Good lord. 😕 He's 'hot as hell' and a great fuck, so it doesn't matter if he can't drive. I've heard it all now. As he gets older, he will be much less 'hot' and not so good a shag, but he will still not be able to drive. Then what? A tedious rest of your life together with you ALWAYS the driver!

What does you living in another country for 25 years have to do with anything?

I don’t drive - I have two degrees and can write just fine, but after about ten million driving lessons I realised it just wasn’t for me. I was such an anxious driver I stopped, and felt better for it! We live in a city and neither me nor DP drive.

The only time it was a total pita was in Covid when we couldn’t get shopping delivered as we’ve done weekly for years.

I wouldn't.

Nope

It totally depends where you are.

If in London, I would probably ask someone who is a car owner 'but why?!'

If you live outside the city and have children, that's a bit different.

Likewise in Birmingham, Manchester, Edinburgh, Glasgow... There's so many places where you can live a perfectly fabulous life without driving. Train connections can be excellent, too. Why have a car if it comes out once a week?

I think age is also relevant, under 30 in a city, wouldn't expect them to drive. There's more important things to spend your money on that age. 40+ I'd probably expect them to be a driver.

I live outside a major city and drive, as most things I like to do are very rural and hard to access on public transport. However, if he drives, I'd only get into his car if it's a nicer and cleaner car than mine, so frankly his daily transport arrangements do not concern me. (Yes, I said it 😇)

It can obviously be convenient in accidents/ emergencies if the other person can drive you to A&E etc, but that's a little bit too much thinking after 1 date!

I do however suspect it's not about the driving at all, and something about him is giving you second thoughts, so perhaps he is not for you.

@Judystilldreamsofhorses that's different. You tried your best. As I said, I couldn't be fucked with a man who couldn't be bothered to even try to learn. I would be a bit peeved at always being the driver if my other half couldn't drive for medical reasons, (and I was always the driver.) but I would deal with it, but if he just couldn't be arsed, and just expected me to do it, he could fuck off.